Keep The Party Going....

The party began around 11:30p May 09,2008 and kept on going...

My legendary run of getting tossed out of bars and lounges on and around my birthday, so drunk I have to be tossed over some one's shoulder, usually all forms of ass on display, and carried to the car, praying to the porcelain god the minute I make it home, praying to God promising *and thus breaking said promise the very next day* if he just let me live just ONE more night, I'll NEVER drink again. Waking up either still hugging the toilet, face inches from toilet water or in the tub, face pressed to the rubber mat.

....was broken.

Sure I got drunk BUT I maintained my composure.

I have renewed my dislike of the tequila though. Patron is manufactured by the devil.

Thanks for all the birthday wishes :) Although folks *side eye T Cas* had plenty of jokes about me not blogging until Nevuary 31st, ah ha I have been blogging

so there lol

AND the day after my birthday too!!

Check out some of the pictures of me in my drunken, yet sexy-yeah I can be a sexy drunk-glory.

My friends are on the devil's payroll

Moving On Up....

It took all of Tuesday but finally we’re all moved into the new place. It looks much nicer now that our stuff is in there. We have a great view...of office buildings lol

We're right across the street from the metro though.

And the non roach infested IHOP, I was boycotting IHOP for a nice minute, is around the corner. However, I'm trying to remember if that's the one I'm banned from. I know my services are no longer accepted at one of these IHOPs.

I'm really going to have to working on my anger management issues over the proper display of a waffle.

And I have a cute WB neighbor. Hmmm I might have to go next door for a cup of sugar *lol*

I am still tired as shit. You never realized how much crap you have until it’s time to unpack. We moved stuff on our own until 4am, took a quick nap, and woke up for the movers at 9am. Everything was moved by 1pm and I unpacked and moved things around until around 6pm.

I can not have boxes just lying around for weeks. I HAVE to get everything out of the boxes and in its proper place before I fall asleep.

I won’t trip on how my raggedy as shit Hello Kitty shrine fell apart in the mover’s hand so my treasured collection is stashed in the bin until I can get another shelf.

Not the fault of the mover’s, they were pretty cool Russian dudes; it was just bad ass craftsmanship. We bought it for cheap at a yard sale *I love those* and it basically one of these “do it yourself” assembly kits where you end up with more screws than you should have but you’re tired and you’re just like “fuck it…it’ll hold” and you just go about your business.

It held up pretty well…well at least for two years lol

Strangely enough, I can’t paint worth shit, couldn’t draw, hell walk, a straight line to save my life…but I know how to take stuff apart and put it back together WITHOUT directions. I actually like to build stuff.

Yes I consider that a talent lol

Yesterday after debating with Comcast...ummm yeah 1:30pm is not the same as 12 noon...and this is after they tried to do me and I had to get into an argument with one of their customer service reps...It does not take a week to come over and flip a switch in the basement esp. when the last time we moved, I gave a 24hr notice of transferring service and a guy came out the next day *of couse after telling the guy that he "found" a time slot...I was not waiting until the 13th for cable...and still charge me for the whole month

Stupid building is locked into a Comcast contract so I'm stuck with their service yet again.

Oh and today..there would be a shortage in my neighborhood :) Gotta love it right?

Now after changing my addresses, I FINALLY ordered the invites *sigh 200 of them bad boys* and some of the ceremony, reception stuff and it should be arriving shortly.

I am so clapping myself on the back right now. Once those bad boys are sent out, I don’t have to really worry about them again to July when I’m either stalking people to fill out the RSVP cards…or saying fuck it you’re no longer invites…read the directions!!

I mean I still have to spend part of Saturday looking for a lilac bridesmaids dress not to mention get my hair done, because I know it’s time for a relaxer when white folks stop telling me my hair looks “nice”, and still manage to go out drinking and partying.

Oh yes quarter of a century old…I sure don’t feel it.

Apparently I still don’t look it…I got carded the other day.

It was a minor annoyance, I mean I know I must have looked as if I wandered in from underneath a bridge, but I guess if I still can pass for someone under the age of 21…that’s semi good right?

Or maybe I was just that frightful looking. Especially since these two mountains decided to pop up on my face. I really need to leave the OJ alone. Too much OJ equals breakouts. I mean these bad boys are winking at me every time I look in the mirror. Each one fighting for attention.

I hate breakouts with a passion.

I’ve been drowning them in acne medication and drinking nothing but water. *sigh*

I think I’m too old for this lol

Wow just two days until my birthday

I am eagerly awaiting my birthday gifts

Happy times indeed

Had To Dust The Ol' Keyboard Off....

*hangs head*

I know…I’m such a loser

I’ve avoided my own blog like a bill collector

See what had happened was…

*lol*

Man between moving to a new apartment *sigh* which is NOT fun by the way. Especially since we were given less than a week’s notice.

And NO we were not evicted *lol*

I only get ejected from clubs and lounges and not apartments.

You can imagine the jokes though. Folks were like “Damn T, I knew yall were planning on having little to no debt planning the wedding but damn pay your bills…”

But um yeah…the cost of getting free rent means moving when the Future Hubby job requires it.

We’ve had a good 2 year run in Crystal City but it’s time for us to move on.

Wedding plans are slamming me left and right.

Just when I was going to FINALLY order these damn invites…we got hit with the move so that’s temporarily on hold until the end of the week.

BUT regardless they are going out at the end of the month.

I have to have my bridesmaids dresses ordered by at least the 1st of June to assure they will be ready in time for the wedding…serious Bridezilla time.

I mean I hate to be that type of bitch folks grumble about under their breathe…but come on now…do you really think you’re going to drop 20 lbs by the wedding and you live on Harold’s Chicken and pizza puffs?

Complete with extra mild sauce on the side.

Girl Bye.

Granted I have this stubborn 10 lbs that refuse to budge but I’m optimistic not delusional.

So Memorial’s Day there’s going to be fireworks all right. Time for me to seriously put some pep on some asses.

At least my best friend/maid of honor has her dress.

And while I’m talking about bad ass bridesmaids *hangs head* I haven’t even looked at a bridesmaid dress for TWIN’s wedding in June.

I’m going to fuck around and end up stuck with some horrid lilac dress from David’s Bridal and demand that all of the pictures that I am in have someone in front of me.

So wedding plans have pretty much consumed me outside of work, I’m constantly trolling the internet for deals, on the phones demanding why I can’t have a certain number/color, griping about the price of flowers, etc.

Since my Ivory at work has left me, his Ebony…I’m now in charge of my own department.

*dry ass clap*

Shit is NOT the business. Every day I go in debating about the budget, over time, schedules, petty ass squabbles, etc.

Meetings that I now can’t get out of, meetings where I now have to participate instead of texting or worse, falling asleep in the back.

I *gasp* actually have to dress up for work. No more halters and sweat suits when the Big Cheeses are off property.

I have to actually wear thongs at work to prevent panty lines. I hate thongs with a passion. A big ass in a thong doesn’t equal comfort. Just because you can’t see the string between the cheeks does not mean shit is all good.

And those so-called seamless panties do not work…or at least not on my ass.

I’m not bold enough yet to go commando all day because it’ll be just like me to rip hole in my pants or my skirt blow up with some mysterious wind and I flash my cooch to everyone in sight.

I mean people have seen enough of my crack for days but I gotta keep some parts intimate ya know? Lord knows the number of unintentional boob slippages I have had. You would think little titties would stay in place and remain in my skimpy tops.

Thank god for double sided tape.

I mean I will slip that thong off about 20 minutes before I leave to go home but that’s as far as I will go for now.

And even then I feel mad uncomfortable, like people are staring at my lower regions.
…or worse I’m rocking a camel toe.

So…yeah…I guess I’m back

I really shouldn’t stay away for so long

The countdown has now officially begun…

Now only am I hitting the big 2-5 on Saturday

My lost of freedom *smile* starts August 31, 2008

Le *Sigh*

Monday I should be back to my semi blogging schedule

Working 40+ hours a week is no joke.

I'm still around...just no time to blog and comment

I'll holla

Dang Yall Nosy lol....

Pro asked
what is it again that you do to earn enough money to cover your cell phone bill with the way the economy is these days?

Well as we all know, my ill-fated career as a stripper was cruelly cut short when I fell off the pole during auditions. I would like to note it wasn’t really my fault I couldn’t help it if I overly febreezed and bleached the pole, thus shattering my dreams of walking into the Acura dealership with my crumpled and slightly sweaty dollars bills and paying for my dream car in full.

Actually my phone bill is not as high as it used to be *damn those chatty friends on my day time minutes* and all the little add ons *text bundle plan, useless insurance, etc* is the crust of my phone bill. Before when I was a chatterbox on the phone and anti-text message *gasp can you imagine ME not loving texting* my phone bill was sky high…hence the ill fated attempt at stripping.

Now I’m content working as a Front Office Supervisor *Ise got power* for a major hotel chain. Ok well not content in the least but hey it pays the bills. And did I mention the power? You know I’m a whore for power.

*cue close up of infamous couch and sinister laugh*

Dejanae asked:
1where them wedding dress pics at?
2.how many people are invited?
3.got a wedding registry?
4.where's the honeymoon spot?

1. Girl right in that damn camera lol I am far too lazy to upload them. Geez putting me out on Front Street. I got yall….eventually.

2. Right now we’re hovering at 150-total. Trust we are not trying to feed every body and they mama. There’s currently a debate going on within the family because some folks call themselves being “slighted”. I haven’t seen you in over 20 years, have NO clue who you are, yet you want to come to the wedding?

3. I’ve opted out of doing a wedding registry. Although we love gifts as much as the next person, it’s not our thing. I won’t tell you how many stunned expressions we have received. I’m just leery of those things. I’m looking around our place and unless someone is going to come up off a new living room set, a flat screen TV, new entertainment centers…then we don’t need it. Shoot we still have the “paper plate” variety friends, what do I, Queen of Not Cooking and Being a Horrible Host, really need with crystal plates and china?

That’s the stuff I’m going to swipe from my grandmother when the times come for it *lol*

I’m still up in the air about a bachlorette party. I’m not too keen on the baby oil stripper with the freakishly long penis dry humping me, fucking up my club outfit with the baby oil, not to mention he might swing his dick the wrong way and smack me right in the eye. I like the strippers but I don’t like the strippers, feel me?

Plus my best friend put it, “Shit it’s not being a “Mrs.” is going to stop you from hitting the clubs, flirting, plotting for your 2nd husband…etc. Yall not the “ball and chain” couple anyway.”

So I may just party only with cute T-shirts and stuff. And since I LOOOVE to make up my own shit on t shirts, we’re playing with:

Whoda Thought SHE would be married?!

Temporarily Off the Market…But Still Accepting Applications

Don’t Worry…I’ll Be Divorced Soon…

Are YOU my 2nd Husband?

Bored Newly Wed Searching For Sexy UPS Man

…Yeah we’re just that retarded.

4. Currently that’s up in the air. Officially we’re going on our honey moon in December. Where…who knows? I want to go to Europe; he wants to go to the Islands. We’re probably going to flip a coin.

Charles asked:

Being boring sucks doesn't it? Nah I'm kidding...I'm not all that exciting either. But I was unaware that you're in VA until I read your profile...good ish. So what kind of work do you do exactly?

Outside of being a part time pervert and a full time smart ass, I find time to work for a major hotel, sexually harassing co-workers all while dodging HR and the cops *lol*

Actually I’m a Front Office Supervisor. A well earned promotion considering I was doing the job anyway for the free…

Dollface asked:

1.Are you staying in the area after you get married?
2.How long do you think you will be in debt because of this wedding...I saw that venue...NICE!!

3.Whatever happened to your 'mind twin'? She hasn't blogged in over a year!!

1. That’s our initial plan. Since he plans on pursuing a Ph.D, if he’s not accepted into anything in the DC/VA/MD area, we’ll probably be on the move again. He’s looking at schools in Texas, Illinois, California, and of course the area.

I’ve always said I wanted to move back to Chicago as soon as he finishes his Masters but the area has grown on me. I’m just along for the ride. Never thought I would move to the DC Metro area, let along enjoy it, but I have. I’m far from shunning my Chicago roots but I am quicker to say I’m from “Virginia” now and not “Illinois- Chicago to be exact”.

We’ll probably be in the area until we have kids and we’re on the first thing smoking back home to our mamas *lol*

2. Girl I am not even anticipating debt, at least nothing long term. We have a wedding account set up just for the wedding and that nest egg is looking might nice. Although if we paid for all of our groomsmen and bridesmaids *thank god for good sports* we would probably be substantial debt.

3. I know man, she’s hasn’t logged on to Yahoo in a minute, emails go unanswered…I miss my “mind twin” although when she comes out of hiding she knows she has a SERIOUS tongue lashing coming!!

Folks just can’t up and leave me like that *ahem Mr. Mack, I’m eyeing you too*, knowing I have bouts of extreme neediness.

Reading other people blogs and getting a glimpse into their lives makes me feel…I dunno like I’m not the only one out there with similar thoughts, or going through similar things. I dunno…makes me feel like I’m normal, ya know?

Geez Am I Boring Or What....

I feel like such a loser

I have, like, nothing to talk about.

I mean spring is approaching, the pigeons in the parking garage are more in abundance *shudder* and the weather is getting better.

Invites are ordered. When I will actually receive them and mail them out is still up in the air.

Stupid job has blocked my ability to comment on blogs. YET I can still access porn sites *sigh*

And no I don't watch porn at work...anymore lol

And work is work. Not bad yet not good. Although one thing I hate about this promotion is the countless boring meetings I can't talk or charm my way out of. I've long stopped going to 95% of the meetings scheduled daily and for the most part it was like, eh...I'll just blow up her email with the minutes.

Trust I get countless irrelevant emails daily.

Now...it's like actual stalking to get me in meetings. Folks actually find me and drag me to meetings.

And...I can't even text during the shit!

Don't they know texting kept my head from sleepily banging the table as my theory is I think the mind numbing, painfully boring meetings are purposely scheduled after lunch knowing I have the "itis" after 12:30

But *sigh* no funny stories, adventures, or observations as of late.

I think I need to get out more.

But I always like when folks ask me stuff so...you know what that means

Yup...Open Forum *yet again*

Ask and ye shall receive...or something like that lol

Dedication to Dej....

Courtesy of my girl Dej's blog...yeah yeah heff so what I'm a couple of days late

1.describe urself in three words
Goofy, Sarcastic, Stubborn

2.describe me in three words
Dej is hilarious, intelligent and blunt as hell

3.wat is a phrase you use often ?
Some variation of someone's name followed by....you stoopid
Shiiiiidddddddd
Seek therapy/treatment
Crack kill, you know?

4.have u ever done a family tree?
Not since elementary school. I think if I did one now I would "accidently" omit some folks from the family tree

5.when's the last time you went to a family reunion?
I went to JBN's last summer but an "official" one for my family...I think it was last year as well or maybe the year before that.

6. what's your favorite theme song?
I don't really pay attention to theme songs anymore but I get sorta excited when I hear Boondocks

7.the best cartoon ever?
Right now it's Boondocks hands down. I watch others of course but I heart Boondocks

8.your most prized possession?
I'm a packrat not to mention a secret sentamentialist *is that even a word lol* anything anyone who has ever given me something becomes a prized possession. I would run back into a burning home for my photo albums and massive Hello Kitty collection of course, but I'll also get the rug my moms gave me when I moved into my 1st apartment, bath towels that I swiped from my grandma that if I sniff deep enough I can still "smell" grandma's house, random trinkets, and my one hoop earring one of my closest friends gave me when I decided to start wearing jewelry again and I cried when I lost the other one

9. your favorite book?
I read so many I couldn't even tell you. I don't think I have one. I just have a lot that I never get tired of reading.

10.your favorite old school dance?
The cabbage patch and the Tom and Jerry hands down. Catch me when I'm drunk and I'll be working it out on the dance floor.

11. your favorite music video?
I've fallen out of favor with music videos, hell music in general lately, but "Thriller" naturally is one of my top videos of all time. I studied that video for weeks and I know the dance by heart. I won't tell you the performances I've forced people to watch shortly after I mastered the dance.

12. favorite villain?
Kevin Spacey in "Se7en", The Joker, Darth Vader, and Jigsaw hating ass are ones that popped in my head instantly. I kinda dig the bad guys in most movies anyway...that streak of evil lives strong in me

13.what's more entertaining flavor of love or i love new york??
Both shows are an embarrassment...which is why I continue to watch. Flav is more entertaining although his face isn't. Who doesn't like laughing at stupid, bust down skanks who is willing to "play like" someone who looks like something I crapped out when I was constipated.

14. how many people have you had sex with?
Geez Dej a lady doesn't reveal how many partners they've had...maybe tell you the number that's in the "He Doesn't Count" drawer...but never the real number *lol* I'm just going to say less than 10 but of course this may or may not include my "He Doesn't Count and I Will Fight To The Death Than Admit I Gave Him The Panties" drawer *wink wink*

15.where is the weirdest place you have ever had sex?
Weirdest place? The elevator...if you consider that weird. But I've also done the balcony, back seat of the car, public bathroom, slide at the park, park bench, and I did jag someone off on the train...but....mmmm nothing really "weird" I guess

16.what's the nicest thing you have ever done for a stranger?
When my icy hearts melt enough to beat *lol* I do randomly buy meals, give money, and help the elderly cross the street. There was a lady who lived around the corner from me who was handicapped I used to go to the grocery store for her and clean her apartment once a week for her. No cooking though, I wasn't trying to go to jail for poisoning the handicapped. I'm a pretty nice person although my demeanor screams "I'm an asshole" so I try to do something nice at least once a day.

I'm going to need all the good deeds I can to get in heaven lol

17.what is your biggest fear?
I would say my biggest fear is dying. I know we all have to do it, there's nothing I can do to avoid it but it still scares me. I guess it's more the questions I have about death than the actual dying part. OK and well I don't want to suffer or feel the life slipping out my body slowly. Like I want an instantaneous death or die in my sleep or something.

18.whats the worst thing you have ever done while drunk?
Ugh having sex with that asshole. Gin will make you sin.

19.what do you regret the most?
There's not too much that I regret in life. Maybe choosing a different route in college, redoing a couple of mistakes, listening more, etc.

20.what's the weirdest place you've ever been?
I don't think I've been anywhere weird.

21.have you ever had a threesome?
Not a sexual threesome...what type of person do you think I am?! However I have slept in the bed with more than three people before. FULLY clothed that is.

22.what's your funniest memory?
There's too many to choose from. I guess anything I blog about.

23.what's the meanest thing you've ever done to a friend?
Told the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
If we're not talking the child hood push off the bike, nothing outside of being truthful and telling the whole harsh truth about a person or situation. I've hurt feelings, made a few friends cry and while I don't think I was being mean, making someone cry is pretty mean even if it wasn't intentional right?