Tuesday, December 20, 2011

The Kid (Literally) Is In The Building


I mean...damn.

Can't believe it's been this long since I've logged onto this damn thing.

I won't mention that it took me a few minutes before I remembered my password.

So I guess I should give a quick update.

So yeah, I got knocked up shortly after my last post (see below).

After an uneventful (and actually fun pregnancy) I now have a six month old daughter...that doesn't look a damn thing like me.

Ain't that bout a bitch?

I carried that girl for 40 weeks and 5 days, endured 12 hours of contractions, and a c-section and she looks exactly like her father.

Seriously...she did not want to come out. They had to go in and get her. Eh. I don't have a c-section scar so it's all good.

Call me vain but I was not looking forward to pushing her out anyways...I kept thinking, "like what if my coochie looks like the Holland tunnel or some shit... afterwards"

I wasn't too thrilled to get sliced open but once that pitocin began kicking it (I was induced) I was ready for those drugs lol. That damn birth plan went out the fucking window. I was chilling like a villain until those meds kicked it. My husband and mom had to damn near drag me to the hospital in the first place. I had already told them that since she was late anyway I wasn't leaving the house until my shows went off.

That's right- I watched the season premiere of True Blood on Sunday, Weeds on Monday and I want to say that I watched Basketball Wives that night as well. Only after those shows went off did I go to the hospital.

Make no mistakes though...despite looking like her father in feminine form, my daughter is a fucking cutie. Not to talk about other kids (OK I am) but I've seen some little girls who looks like their father and all I have to say is...bless their little hearts.


Luckily she's a great baby. No problems (yet), no whining (yet), and shit she started sleeping through the night after six weeks.

Thank god. The hardest thing about my pregnancy was the lack of sleep after the seventh month. I swear she kicked me all damn night when she was inside me and then came out and wanted to play all night.

However I wouldn't trade a minute of it.

Look at me...all....cake-ish and shit.

Damn baby *lol*

So...um...yeah that's pretty much it, just adjusting to being someone's mom.

Me? A Mom? Who would've thought?

I thought I'd be using someone kid's SSN for the rest of my life (I kid, I kid...yall know I've been claiming the cat as a dependant for years lol).

The pregnancy was so smooth it damn near makes me nervous because I KNOW the 2nd is going to be my hellraiser.

That's going to be the one that I leave at the hospital *lol*

However don't get it twisted- Baby #2 is at least two years off in the future.

I need to lose the pounds that I regained after having baby #1.

Although...I am very disappointed that my boobs did not grow the way I wanted them to.

*sigh* I was in a C cup for all of a week and then....straight deflate.

Breastfeeding did not increase my cup size. All it did was make my shits hard as a fucking rock when engorged.

Although it was kinda cool to watch my cleavage grow right before my eyes- kinda like that doll where if you pulled the arm up the hair would grow *lol*

I will try to make an effort to update this thing more often.