Monday, February 19, 2007

Happy 1yr Blogging Anniversary to Me

And to think one year ago I started this as a venue to get random crap out of my head. *lol*

Looking back….DAMN I haven’t changed a bit *lol* You would think this would “mature” a sister but no…same mind, different year.

Thanks to everyone who come by and read my long, rambling stories on a regular. I really don’t mean to write so much but I sit down and begin typing, next thing you know it’s like 6 pages *lol*

I don’t know about you but re-reading my own mess makes the day go by much quicker at work *lol*

Here’s to another year of rambling stories.

*pours out a lil’ ripple to keep the party going*

The concert at LOVE was off the chain. I really enjoyed myself.

TV does Tank and Robin Thicke no justice at all. Those men are better looking in person than on TV, I swear, either one just had to give me a look and I was in VIP…no panties. Just ready. No need for JBN to stick around…I’ll take a taxi home thank you *lol*

There was another cutie named J. Holliday. He was a great performer and all but since I didn’t know any of his songs, I was waiting more for Tank and Robin. I think he’s from the DC Area. He was too light for my date but…I’d do him.

Hell in my state of perpetual pervertness, I’d do almost anyone.

Notice I said almost. I’m not that damn horny *lol*

Tank…mmm mmm mmm…Never mind the side eye I had to give him when he sang ”Maybe I Deserve”. I inched away from the stage a little bit just in case he had a flash back and yanked a sister up by the hair and then it would be a fight. I went through too much Wednesday to get my hair done.

And Robin….whew that white boy could get it three times on the stairs leading to VIP. Since I know his cd by heart I was getting a lot of strange looks because I actually knew the songs outside of Shooters, Complicated and Lost Without You and since a lot of people came for Tank, a lot of folks went downstairs when Tank left the stage.

I mean it was packed. And my short ass would get stuck behind two, tall weav-alious sisters who just knew they were doing the damn thing in their leopard print outfits. Never mind they were a ham sandwich away from a size 40 you couldn’t tell Josie and the Pussy Cats that they were not shutting the club down.

I was glad when they moved so I can get closer to the stage. Now Honey you know it wouldn’t be nothing for me to crowd surf on some broads to get to Tank.

But what killed me was all the damn men that were hogging the front of the stage. Nigga he is not singing to you! And if you’re going to turn your face when he take off his shirt why don’t you move to the back with the rest of the men who were abandoned by their dates when Tank got on the stage? I mean I had JBN in the back on camera duty. I was mad because he didn’t take enough pictures of Tank with his shirt off.

Ole heterosexual ass. If it was G I know he would’ve gotten all up in that for a picture of Tank.

I was very content with the concert. I was very thrilled at going to see a couple of my flavors of the month in concert. You know I was thinking of ways to sneak onto the tour bus, you know that right?

Other than the concert, when I stop being lazy I’ll post the pictures, my week was pretty much the same: hectic as shit.

Fucking tour season is coming up and I’m working harder than a Hebrew slave trying to get all this shit together. It’s gotten to the point where I have had to take work home in order to get the hell out the door at 4:30. As soon as I get some shit straightened, there’s a room change, a name addition/subtraction, reservations haven’t been made, shit misspelled and of course the infamous email asking me to do some shit that’s not my fucking job in the first place.

I quit this bitch. That’s another t-shirt slogan for that ass.

I guess I can’t complain that I’m not busy though. I can’t even check in on my blogs and shit like I used to. And when I get home, a bitch is straight in the bed taking a nap.

I fired my stylist. Nothing personal but umm yeah if you decide that you’re not going to do any hair on account on the weather, as a professional you should let someone know. I mean I was freezing my ass off for close to an hour and half waiting for the shop to open *JBN dropped me off* and still no phone call. So when I finally made it home after almost getting frost bite for stepping into an icy puddle of water, she told me, “Well I figured you wouldn’t show up so I slept in…”

The Hell? Unlike you, if I’m not going to make it, I call to reschedule or cancel. Tuh she won’t be getting any of my money.

Had me walking around looking like a damn jungle creature. Hair all over my head and shit, folks giving me change like I’m homeless. I was looking a hot ass mess.

But luckily I picked up a new stylist- my first gay stylist. Oh my god I love this man to death. We were rolling the entire time he hooked up my hair. I mean he is fabulous with two snaps in Z formation. I had to fall out right quick though when some thuggish ass cat that looks like he busts a cap in a nigga’s ass on the regular rolled though and this was one of my stylist’s “boos”. I had to close my mouth right quick because that bitch was hinged open.

I mean I’m used to the “homo-thug” *an oxymoron by the way* because I guess G is in that category but ehh you can still kinda tell but this guy?

Nothing screamed “GAY” about this dude. So you know after I closed my mouth I had to give him the side eye because I know he has some baby mommas in the stash.

And you know I’m nosy right?

But sista-boy laid my hair to the side and had it straightened within an inch of it’s’ life, just how I like it.

Due to the fact he was available on such short notice, he was quick, cheap and he could do some hair, I will be seeing more of the SE side of DC because that’s where I will be trekking now instead of Murrrland to get my hair done.

Friday I went out and kicked it. Had a damn good time, stumbled my ass in the house around 7 am.

Slept most of Saturday. Come to think of it, I slept most of Sunday as well. I was tired as hell all weekend. I haven’t been getting my 8 hours of sleep during the week. Guess I was making up for lost time.

The car is back in the shop. A brand new bumper this time. But hell I ain’t paying for it so it’s all to the good. BUT now I have to get up early in order to catch the Metro.

I had to argue my school down about a loan I took out in 2003. Apparently they sent it over to collections because I didn’t pay the bill. How can I pay a bill that I wasn’t aware existed? Better yet how come all that dumb alumni shit can make it to my apartment but not the actual bill? Oh yeah I had some words on Friday for that ass and then called TransUnion and requested that they take it off my credit report.

Shit my credit is on its way to being “above average”. I refuse to let this shit fuck up my damn credit.

I’m also 75% out of credit card debt.

*sigh* My shopping impulses is about to take a serious hit.

I’m thinking of going home in about two weeks to see the family and the new baby. Eh we’ll see how that works.

Here’s to another extremely busy week.

Rush-order is already in place for the t-shirt.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

So Gangsta With Mine...

For me to ask you where you been/maybe I deserve/for you to say I better stop tripping/To grab your neck until you let me know/for you to run crying, crying out the door/to grab my coat and chase you down the street/To say it isn’t you it's my own insecurity/for you to say yes I cheated on you ©Tank-Maybe I Deserve

As I’m crooning *badly* to one of my favorite songs by Tank...umm these lyrics had to make me pause *lol*

After re-downloading Real Player on the computer, I am amazed on the number of albums that are on the computer. There are literally hundreds of albums by anyone you could think of on the computer. If SVU was to run up in the crib and take the computer best believe we’re going to jail. For the porn AND the illegally downloaded albums *lol*

Am I the only one who laugh *uncomfortably* at this verse…a little stalkerish Tank?

And why can I imagine him running out the door with a pea coat, a wife beater and some footies?

Baby girl if you were to scream out “Yes I cheated on you” with a man in some fucking Hello Kitty footies because those were the quickest thing he could toss on in hot pursuit of your ass…God help you. Pray you live in a good neighborhood where the neighbors could call the police while he’s choking you out in someone’s flowerbed.

I mean listening to background vocals….umm…yeah I might need to sit a little further from the stage.

Tank is sexy and all I don’t want him jumping out the closet when I come home like, “Where you been?”

Um…the grocery store?

Lurking in the produce aisle and shit, jumping from behind a stack of cans ready to fight because the stock boy brought me some eggs from the back. Dragging me out the store by my hair, I’m writing “HELP ME” in the window and shit.

Looking over my shoulders, shaking and shit like I’m having withdrawals, like “Damn I knew I shouldn’t have left the club with Tank that night…”

BUT….That’s my song though *lol*

This is what happen when you have friends who draw your attention to lyrics and shit *lol*

I mean so what I used to shake my booty to Tip Drill until my best friend told me what the lyrics stated? As a NON hip-hop head, folks have to break lyrics down to me so I can understand the purpose of the song. Of course, most of them like to argue on the validity of the lyrics and how such and such is such a “master with words”?

Yeah saying “I sell crack” in 10 different ways using “clever” word play…Man what the hell are the Nobel Peace Committee smoking to pass up the greatness that is Cam’Ron and all that he contributes to the world.

*rolls eyes*

How many times can you state, “I have money, hoes, cars, and jewelry”? Or about your “street cred” and how much “weight” you’re pushing in the streets?

Isn’t that called “snitching”? I mean tricking on you AND the crew you roll with to anyone who would listen how you pump drugs in your “old” community *cuz you know niggas was on the first thing running out the so-called “hoods” they lived in*

Damn put my all business on blast! Maybe I was fronting like I was an upstanding member of the community but now since you got a little cheddar and doing shit the legal way you wanna expose my shifty life so you can appear to be as “street” as possible. Now the Feds are all up in my shit while you get away nice and clean with that “I’m an entertainer. I’m just writing for the fans...” bull.

Rappers are haters, I swear *lol*

And if you have to tell people you have “street cred” obviously you don’t have any to speak of. Your name should speak for itself in the streets. That’s like getting all D’s and F’s in school and swearing up and down you’re smart.

No sense.

The thug image is so overplayed that hell I could be a thug. Shit I grew up in the project, I touched “white” before *sugar but that’s not the point*, I pop them thangs on a regular days basis, shit I be killing mad folks on Gears of War.

AND I got a tattoo. Ok it’s one and it’s small but man Joe those little needles be stinging like I got shot. And I did get shot…every 3 months for 3 years.

All I need is a raw ass ghostwriter who may have lived the gritty life *gasp public school*, some gold teeth, some bling and dude I’m at the Grammy’s. Not to mention a great boob job so my titties could hang out my shirt Lil Kim style and one of my hoe-ish friends so I can put her lifestyle on wax. So what I don’t suck good dick…my fans wouldn’t know.

Best New Artist goes to….Rap Nasty for “Fuck Yall Staring At?”

Three times platinum boo…

Followed up by my successful sophomore album….”Crack Dick and Creamy Panties”

And then I too could get a book written about me by some male groupie I banged on one of my tours. I probably won’t remember his name but hey hoes gotta eat too. I probably passed him around to my entourage which will consist of my ghetto ass friends. We’ll omit the fact that they have degrees and had successful careers before the lure of free Gucci glasses and Taco Bell got to them.

Of course I’ll get addicted to the “white” *wine that is* and end up on a “Where are they now?” special but that’s not the point.

I am a thug dammit!

See how easy it is to create a thug? Just stretch the truth and run with it. Most will never know the difference.

Personally I like rap for the storytelling. I’ll listen to a song and say, “Nigga is lying but damn that song was hot! He gets an “A” for effort…I almost believed him.”

Seriously…are they stocking up on false memories to keep an album going or what? Maybe the first album bragging about killing people and selling drugs might work but if the album is successful do you really expect me to believe you’re still selling drugs? Do you really think 50 is selling crack out his Rolls Royce? Do you really think Jeezy’s 5.6 million dollar mansion is a drug house?

Isn’t that the purpose of selling drugs in the first place? To make money? So…if you have the money, probably more than you’ll make being a foot soldier because let’s face it niggas ain’t the suppliers *where the real chop is at* they’re some other dude’s foot soldier who sells the drugs for that person and get a tiny piece of the pie, why are you still selling drugs?

You’ve reached the goal. Smart drug dealers get their cash and bounce out the game…”retire” if you may.

NOT tell everyone who's listening how much drugs they’ve sold in a particular neighborhood in a particular year which led to the deaths of several people in that year that’s currently unsolved.

I mean…Police and Connect the Dots anyone?

And then rappers complain when harassed by the police. I mean riiight…if you rapped on a song that you killed a dude named Lil Man in ’98 on 23rd and Lexington at 6pm while wearing a hoodie and some Timbs with an AK-47 and wow in the case file there was a dude named Lil Man who was killed in ’98 on 23rd and Lexington with an AK-47 by a dude that witnesses said had on a hoodie and some Timbs…naw dude it’s just a coincidence…Police are hating because you’re successful and black.

Riiiight…the Police sucks ass but that seems like an open and shut to me.

Riding around with a gun in the car…Is it really that hard to get a gun registered or are registered gun not hot for the streets?

I personally believe when shit like that happens to rappers it’s a warped publicity stunt. Remind everyone how street you are and how you are so serious with your gangsta that you carries gun in the car you know just in case you gotta bust a cap in someone’s ass.

The bodyguard? Oh he’s around to keep an eye on things just in case those thangs have to be upped.

Hip Hop is hilarious to me; it’s like never ending material for comedy.

When I become Rap Nasty, I’m just going to carry my gun around like a purse and to show my gangsta and how lethal I am with a gun…I’m going to use it to open pop cans.

Just at the bar, oh I want a Pepsi, BAM pop cans opens. And that’s just a pop can so imagine what I do to my foes *lol*

And I’m going to have a mansion AND a crack house on my property. Niggas gotta scale the 10 foot fence, maneuver through the dogs and infared lights to get some of that hot shit.

Jeah. Gangsta with mine.

Let me get in the booth so I too can write some lyrics that one day your friends will have to point out to you so you can laugh as well.

Oh yeah Happy Valentine's Day and all that good stuff *lol*

Sunday, February 11, 2007

I Need A Life...

My weekend fucking sucked.

Sucked ass actually.

You would think with JBN hundreds of miles away, I would take advantage right? Stay out all night and stumble in the next day still drunk off the liquor I drunk.

How about I had a hot date with the damn cat and TV all weekend?

I was off Friday anyway so you know my ass bummed around the apartment doing absolutely nothing.

Then…tell me why some fucking idiot HIT my fucking car?

That same bumper that was just fixed? Oh that bitch is chilling in the backseat right now. Luckily it just the bumper and not the lights like it was last time but still…I was *and still am* SOOOO pissed.

What part of my turn signal flashing, me slowing down and going into the turn did he not realize and see?

You know I showed my ass in the parking lot right. Now that I think about it, I should’ve fallen out for dead while I was at it.

I mean I’m ok, it really was just a slight tap but still….that shit was JUST fixed! And although of course the guy is paying for all the charges *like he had a choice* that means the car is yet again out of commission for the week.

I was so mad about the car it fucked up my entire weekend. I called JBN *By the time I called him, he was already though security check about to board his flight* and although I know he’s pissed, he was calm about it. Way more calm than I was but then again he hasn’t seen the car yet. His flight lands at 11 tonight.

So great I might have to leave work early tomorrow to get an estimate so this can get fixed as quickly as possible.

Stupid Virginia drivers.

And since I was already in a bad mood I had to get bitchy with a few people who wanted to call on some “up-beat” shit. Get that shit outta here, my cornflakes have been pissed in and I’m mad!

I’m seriously thinking of changing my number. This “Check Up” shit has got to stop! While on one hand I’m dusting my Pimp Hat off because it means I still have it, you know a smile like mine is kinda hard to forget *lol*, I’m going to need these guys to find some business for the ’07.

It’s cute that they call but…do they really think they have a chance? Do they really think I’m interested in them in that way?

Trust if JBN and I were to break up tonight *which might happens after he sees his “baby”* I plan on remaining single for a nice minute. The last thing I would want is a new boyfriend.

I wasn’t in the mood though so my friends “Dial” and “Tone” stepped in to do a lot of the talking.

Although…One of the guys in question does have a sexy ass voice.

He has what I call “The Panty Creamer” voice. Dude could just say “Hello” and you’ll need to waddle to the bathroom and change your drawls.

Had to end that call when I started crossing my legs unconsciously. *lol*

I seriously think something is wrong with me. I think I am at my sexual peak or something because I can not stop thinking about sex! I think about it all day, every day. Someone asked me did I want a section of his orange and all I heard was “sex” *lol*

It’s really starting to get bad. I’m like a hype on that shit. And you know Tenacious does not beg for the dick but I’ve been finding myself begging for the shit for the past few weeks. Like I’m falling all over the room trying to take off my panties. Nothing but a word and I’m naked.

I shudder to think….Have I finally met some “Crack Dick”?!

After joking about it for years…Has it just hit me that I have Crack Dick in my life?!

Oh lawd…I’m going to be a stalker *sob*

Someone get me to rehab please. One with cable please.

See sitting in the house by myself all weekend has caused me to think too much.

Combine this with my crazy friends, Wikipedia, and too many gossip blogs.

Yes I spent an hour and a half Wiki-ing everything I could think of.

*hangs head*

DH *haven’t heard her name in a while have you* just had another baby. Her third. Yeah the same heifer who called me sobbing because she don’t want anymore children with her husband but I told her those West Indian men will try to keep you barefoot and pregnant if you let them you know when they’re not being crazy that is.

Come to think of it…she might’ve told him what I said and he put some roots on me *lol*

I told her don’t make this baby into a “Maury” episode. I’m still convinced she was fucking another dude on the low. I was like don’t get fucked up because yall both light skinned and a dark skinned baby pops out ya ass.

She said I was callous with no sense and hung up *lol*

Just to call back to get my address so she could send me baby pictures.

Damn I suck. I should’ve gone to Chicago this weekend. *lol*

Hopefully this week will go well.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Midweek Slump

Wow I’m amazed on how quickly this week has blown by.

Of course after three weeks of proclaiming snow, causing wide panic thus clearing out all the bottled water and toilet paper within a 15 mile radius in stores, it finally snowed.

Why did we have so many call-outs at work it wasn’t funny. Folks with children I can see, after all many schools were closed *rolls eyes* What I wouldn’t do to have gone to school in this area…

But folks who live up the street? Now that’s just trifling. But maybe I’m just hating. I didn’t think of that *lol*

If my manager knew I wouldn’t punch her in the mouth, I think she would’ve kissed me when I came in this morning. I mean its fucking snow! I’m from Chicago, snow is nothing rare or anything to stock up rations, I was just pissed that traffic was at a standstill. And people don’t clear off the top of their cars. Scared the shit out of me this morning when a big ass clump of snow hit my windshield.

I knew this would happen: Already I’m bored. It’s not that I don’t have a lot to do because I do but since this isn’t tourist season yet I’m 95% done with my work by lunch. It’s gotten to the point where I’m doing room three or fours days in advance so I will have something to do. This of course means next week I’ll be fighting sleep.

Don’t even get me started on the three to four pointless meetings I have to sit in during the day. I almost fell asleep during one today but that was the “Itis” *lol* They should already know after 1 pm I shouldn’t sit in any meetings.

JBN is going out of town this weekend to attend his fraternity ball. I’m not attending because well, frankly, I can’t stand most of his frat brothers. I refuse to waste a plane ticket for those crusty niggas. And I would hate to slap a bitch over the ice sculpture.

My friends have been stalking me all week trying to convince me to make the trip trying to use the old guilt trip routine since I refuse to attend All Stars Weekend with them. Like I couldn’t get my back blown out by an athlete here in DC.

They should already know that guilt trip shit doesn’t work on me. I am not attending that shit. I hated going while in school, you know being the “supportive” girlfriend and all, so why attend now? Shit he doesn’t need me all up underneath him. Have some fun. Get drunk. Party with the strippers. You know, do all the shit he claims he doesn’t do anymore although last Friday someone was too drunk to drive from Bowie and passed out on his friend’s couch.

I am not that type of girlfriend. As long as he calls to let me know he arrived safe and sound, I’m not expecting to hear from him this weekend. I want the man to have fun, not to check in like I’m his mama or something.

I’m trying to convince some friends to come over for a sleepover *confession I hate sleeping alone in the house* but unless I plan on doing some grocery shopping and break out some Cognac, they ain’t biting. They wanna hit the club and pass out on my couch; I want to watch Boondocks Season 1 again.

Eh, we’ll see. Knowing me…I’ll be in bed by 11.

Damn is this check up week or something? I mean dudes I haven’t heard from in months are calling like crazy. Am I a hot commodity again or are niggas trying to line up some “summer” ass ahead of time?

Waking me up out my nap and shit. You know a bitch is not receptive when snatched from my slumber. I swear nothing will piss me off quicker than being woken up out of my sleep…and for stupid questions.

Me: *this better be Jesus on the other line or else tone*: Hello?
Guy: Is this Tenacious?
Me: You dialed my number didn’t you?
Guy: *chuckle chuckle* I did, didn’t I?
**dial tone**

And that’s why I don’t answer my phone ½ the time.

God help you if you call more than 3 times in a row and I pick up the next call.

Then stutter during the entire conversation after I’ve cursed that ass out. Fucking 10 calls in a row just to say “Hi”? Getthefuckouttahere.

And I won’t even comment on the people who think I owe them a phone call, text, IM, email, smoke signal…whatever…like I’m their girl or something.

Pump them motherfucking brakes my nigga. I don’t owe you shit, I owe the Feds *lol*

I try to be a good friend *well at least a B- friend* but shit sometimes I don’t want you pissing in my damn Cornflakes. Text you something positive, I get 3 negative texts about something back. Damn what does the War in Iraq have to do with my promotion? I don’t want that long rambling ass email about this bitch or that nigga. You knew he/she was trifling from jump. I don’t want to hear yet another story on how nigga/bitches ain’t shit while I tune out because I’m watching L&O and all I contribute is “Uh huh, really, yeah I agree” to the conversation.

Not to mention…I have a job. I’m tired after work. Sometimes I can’t get right back at you. When I get a call, text, IM sometimes I don’t reply until days later. I keep telling people I don’t sweat anyone. I’m not in the “Sweating Business”. I’ve never been one to turn a friend away who needs to talk or vent, don’t get me wrong, I’m trying not to screen my calls from certain people, but damn sometimes I need to relax. I am NOT an advice specialist. My young ass don’t know what I’m talking about ½ the time and the truth is ignored the other ½.

And I am not real big on phone talking. I like to talk in spurts. One week I’m a phone hog. The next three weeks I would limit phone calls to five minutes or less. I don’t return phone calls. I’m getting better at that. There are certain people who I love to talk to regardless of how I’m feeling. Then there’s everyone else *lol* I’ve stopped being hard pressed on the phone when my curfew was extended in high school. I’m a face to face person. I rather visit than talk on the phone. Sometimes I even wonder why I have a cell phone. It’s mainly used for taking pictures and texting. I’m always puzzled how I am always close to my limit for minutes every month esp. since I don’t like to talk before 9 *lol*

Well…I’m out of steam.

I’ll reply to the comments when I have a spare minute. I haven’t forgotten yall.

But Honey…did you really have to point out that I don’t have any breasts *lol*

Monday, February 05, 2007

Mashed Potatoes, Gravy, and Cranberry Sauce...


*LMAO* I couldn't resist!

I'm crushed the Bears lost.

Sure I was doing laundry, talking on the phone and watching a movie while the game was going on, but I felt the pain...when JBN came back from a Super Bowl party and told me they lost.

You already know I did not watch the game *lol*

I even missed half-time with Prince. I'll Youtube it this week. How could I miss Prince? One of my top 10 crushes of all time?! I should kick myself.

Damn Green Mile! Why do I love you so much?!

Of course when I went to work today a lot of friendly ribbing about my hometown team was inevitable. Although...why do people continue to talk "sport talk" with me like I know what they are talking about?

I am really borderline. After I retrieved my mail Friday, I'm in the elevator going back up to my apartment, face in my trashy tabloid magazine, so when the doors opened I got off. Why did I go to the wrong apartment? I didn't have my keys so I'm ringing the door bell and knocking on the door excessively *playing of course* so JBN could open the door. It's a little game we play where we crack the door open like "Yessss...May I help you?"

Lame I know *lol* That's how we have our fun *lol*

So after a minute, I see the peephole darken. Why did this guy crack open the door looking at me like I was crazy?

And why did I look at him like "Why the fuck are you in my apartment?"

So we're having a face-off when he asks basically what the hell do I want, ringing his doorbell like I've lost my mind. I open my mouth to reply when I see the apartment number.

I'm three floors below my apartment.

Boy was my face red. I didn't think I could turn that shade of red. I mumbled an apology and scurried down the hall. I'm probably "crazy crackhead broad" now.

You know I was looking popped.

That's that borderline for you.

No Honey I did not go to jail for stalking Justin. I realize I already have a criminal record in IL and I do not want to see the inside of a VA prison.

Federal government played me this tax season. A bitch owe $402 to the motherfucking FEDS! You know I am fucking pissed. BUT...get $55 back from Virginia. The hell?! Apparently I claimed something I shouldn't have and now I have to pay what I owe.

Makes me want to jack a fed. like Riley did Santa *lol*

I am too pretty for jail. Maybe not federal prison, I heard you live the life in there, but straight gutter prison? I'd hate to shank a bitch over a pudding cup.

BUT...Robin Thicke on the 14th? RT and Tank may need extra security *lol* Ima need JBN to have some bail money ready *lol* Yeah boo yah ya girl has tickets to the event since WKYS be playing and shit with the tickets. Why they couldn't just sell the fucking tickets is beyond my understanding. Esp. when they're being stingy with the giveaways, I don't want a fucking Sidekick 3! Damn a "KISS Card"! Up them tickets nigga! But JBN has surprised me yet again.

And that's why I love him.

I've worn RT's cd out in the car, I've obsessed about these tickets since I found out the only way you could win the tickets is through the radio. I have listened to the radio the last two weeks more than I have in years. And it's all paid off. February 14th I will be at LOVE *not in Detox though* looking and smelling good, screaming my head off for Robin Thicke AND Tank.

Thanks to my new position guess who was called in on her day off to work Saturday? That's what the fuck I get for picking up my phone like an idiot. It wasn't that bad though, spent more time as usual goofing off and playing on E's discussion board.

Damn board has me neglecting my blog *lol*

I'm glad I'm not still in school otherwise no work would get done. I swear when I'm bored at work, I'll log in and next thing you know it's time to go.

Although I am sure one of these days I am going to get kicked off the board for "starting shit". I swear some people need a tall glass of "Shut The Fuck Up" with a nice side of "Be Easy" cookies.

My first offical day in my new position wasn't bad *yet*. For one, I am busy. As lazy as I am at work, I hate lagging periods. I'm a busy body I need things to do otherwise I begin to get tired. I worked clear through lunch so I left early.

I see now I'm going to have to check a few people. Some folks really think because I'm new at the position that must mean I'm stupid. I'm not doing mine and your job while you chat on the phone with your boonopolis *see I said I would re-jack this term* and shit.

Yeah...Ima need you to end that phone call right quick and answer my questions about your fucked up resume. Work with me people. Work with me.

BUT the best part of my job:

"Um yeah....not part of my job description" and "I'm going to need you to step over and let her assist you". Line wrapped to the door? Not my problem anymore *lol*

AND since I come in when many of the guests have departed for the office, 1st LEVEL PARKING baby! Three steps to the door and I'm in there? Stop playing.

Today was colder than a summabitch. Even I, bred on "The Hawk" wind, was clutching my peacoat, cursing the fact that I left my scarf on the couch. Of course traffic was a fucking standstill. Why the FUCK are people slowing down and it's not snowing or raining? Damn why must a 10 minute trip up 110-S take 20-30 minutes?

I think as my driving improves, my road rage increases.

And to the BITCH that almost ran me off the road because not only does a bitch not check her blind spot but you really thought you were going to make that ramp too huh?--FUCK YOU!

I can fit into my favorite Tommy jeans. Those Ralphs? Yeah I'm a little ways from getting into there.

Funny. I want to be thick but not thick at the same time.

Well...I want "thick girls" breasts. *lol*

The "Itty Bitty Committee" is dwindling among my friends. I'm close to being the sole member. If TWIN actually ate, I think she'd pass me up.

Is it bad that I'm addicted to Victoria Secret's? I think I buy something from the website every week.

BUT my "You're Getting Some Tonight" drawer is filling up quite nicely.

Now if I could manage to work a pole without falling off...The "Future Stripper of America" drawer would see a MAJOR come-up.

Oh well. I still look sexy in my "do me" pumps and Leopard one piece.

It's cute when men flirt with me when I least suspect it. And you know me: Flirt Whore. I'll crack the award winning smile in a second.

Men who do "check up" calls are lame. Trust you are not in the running for Tenacious new "In House Dick" if JBN and I broke up. Not even 3rd runner up. Hell you lost in the "Talent" competition.

You know what I don't like? When I send an email or text and don't get a reply. People don't realize those damn texts cost. Nigga you're not with Verizon! Reply dammit!

People must not realize that it is a priviledge if I actually call someone back within two weeks. Hell if I send a text outside my network! Esp. if the person is someone I don't communicate with on a daily basis. Shit my limit for outside network texts are at it limit almost every month.

And stop with the dumb ass forwards! If I don't respond to the shit via email why send it through text? I hate those dumb ass chain letters!

What type of letter starts off all nice and sweet, puppy and kitten pictures all though it and shit, and end with "Send this to 10 people before midnight or you will die a horrible flesh eating bacteria death!"

The hell?! Morbid bastards.

How come people can't remember my name but always remember TWIN's? Newsflash: WE HAVE THE SAME FUCKING FIRST NAME!!

I'm always the "dark skinned one with the bad attitude" *lol*

My attitude is only bad when people get on my bad side. And it takes a LOT now to rile me up. Either I'm slightly annoyed or amused.

But you know I don't give a fuck anyways. "Don't Like Me? Get in Line!" is my new T-Shirt slogan for real.

Am I the only one who still does the "pee pee" dance? I always have to pee as soon as I park and why does the elevator always take forever? Then takes forever to get to your floor AND then you can't get the key in the door?

I have a weak bladder so I'm already half naked as I run down the hall, pants unzipped and everything. Trying to run while my legs are half crossed and shit.

*lol* wow that was random.

Finally bought "Boondocks" on DVD. Expect random quotes all up and through this blog. When does the new season start *if any*? I heard June. Can anyone confirm?

I need some "Boondocks" to go with my "Family Guy".

I can't believe it my 1 year blogging anniversary is coming up. Wow.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

First of Tha Month

Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, it's the first of the month,/so get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, cash your checks and come on…

LOL am I the only one who instantly thinks of this song when the first rolls around?

I remember in college my roommate and I would sing the chorus every first of the month.

We were not met with cheers in the community bathroom.

Although…why didn’t Bone make a remix for this named “The 15th of the month”? I mean checks came on the first and 15th, I remember those dates were payday for the drug dealers on the block, guaranteed someone was shot on those dates fighting over territory and money.

Not to mention the come-up folks got from people selling their food stamps for cash. Steak, good lunch meat, name brand cereal all around during those days. $50 cash for $100 in food stamps? Are you serious? *fetches wallet*

"Aye...I'm going to need a ride to Moo & Oinks AND Jewels my not Aldi's but Jewels...I know! It's the first of the month baby"

*sigh* Times like this I wish I was back in the neighborhood.

Now people have LINK *EBT* and go on the "honor" system since you need a pin number for the card so people hand over the card and folks actually spend the correct amount that they paid for. Shit no tax? Are you serious? You mean I have enough left over to put candy in the candy dish sitting on the coffee table?

And I won't even mention the people who spend the cash allocated toward non-food purchases for new shoes and outfits. *eyeballing several cousins*

No food in the house BUT rocking the fresh Ones and a new Baby Phat leather.

*sigh* Priorities people.

I cannot believe tomorrow is Friday; this week sure has blown by. I am thrilled because I am off Friday thru Sunday.

I start my new position on Monday, can you believe it I am finally in the world of the “9-5” crew? Well 8-430p but you get my drift. I have my weekends back! I bid farewell to sleeping until noon during the week. *tips hat*

You can tell I can't wait to start I'm already clearing the wall for various pictures and getting another cabinet just for the purse. I hate when I see someone's purse on the floor. I pick it up and place it on the desk. Shit that would earn a backhand slap in the back of the head for setting a purse or sweeping a foot in my household.

And did I mention I'm lazy as fuck? Shit those reports are not my responsibility anymore after 5 pm today!

Room rate dispute? Um yeah I'm going to need you to step over right quick and talk to that person, you're interrupting my game of Spades with some fool in Texas.

Which means I can switch my hair appointment back to the weekend, I hated getting my hair done midweek because i was always running late.

And you know I hate being late.

HOWEVER, I am not thrilled because the Super Bowl is Sunday. I hope that JBN will take the screaming and curses at the TV to a sports bar or a friend’s house.

I mean I am rooting for the Bears because I am from Chicago but you already know I am NOT watching it. I tried, I really did try to watch a football game and I dozed off after the 2nd quarter. I just couldn't do it. Maybe half time for the commercials and performances but that’s it probably.

I am 75% complete with Valentine’s Day gifts and although I celebrate the day by default *anniversary* I am not into the whole day. If I don’t get paid holiday I don’t consider it a holiday *lol*

Although you couldn’t tell me Valentine’s Day was not a holiday while in elementary school. How else could I tell my crush how I felt about him through a Chipmunks Valentine’s Day card and some Sweet Tarts?

AND I straight rocked the red, pink, and white that day. I think it was usually some combination of a sweater/turtleneck *my mother stayed with the turtleneck fetish*, a cute denim skirt, tights, and my favorite shoes. You couldn't tell me I wasn't the hottest thing in the 3rd grade that day.

Now…You couldn’t get me in those three colors together if you tried. Consider him lucky if I actually run a brush through my hair.

There is no fronting in this relationship. What you see is what you get *lol*

However, don’t think I’ve slipped up on the sexy panties and bras. I buy too many pairs to walk around with the busted joints on. I have vanquished the “grannies’ from the drawer. I used the accidentally bleached pairs for “Aunt Flo” or when I don’t feel like slipping into a sexy pair after my nightly showers. Make no mistake though those bitches are still cute...just slightly bleached *lol*

Although JBN is the type of person that would give you the once over and say, “Oh baby that’s cute…Now take it off” *lol* I don’t think he really cares what I wear to bed as long as I end up in my birthday suit. I do a little sexy dance with my Future Stripper of America *Frederick's* or You Getting Some Dick Tonight *Victoria's Secret* but after the last time I channeled my inner stripper and ended up knocking over the lamp, I just model for him.

I really need to stop walking around the house naked, the peeping tom from across the way was out this morning smoking a cigarette when I walked into the living room to turn on the TV for the cat *lol yeah he likes to hear voices when he’s in the house*.

He startled the shit out of me, I’m not used to anyone being on his balcony in the mornings. Of course, I ran out of the room for a robe and when I came back in the living room later, he lifted his cigarette up to me. One of these days, I’m going to come in from work and he will be waiting in the closet for me.

I really need to close the blinds at night. And invest in an alarm system.

I’ve lost 3 pounds so far. I am seriously thinking of fasting but I can’t survive on water all day. But I am determined to lose some of this belly by March. I just found out Gold’s Gym offer a great discount for hotel employees so I plan on checking that out Thursday after work.

I’m only scouting the gyms that have cute men, I need some motivation and eye candy while I’m sweating it out on the treadmills. *lol*

It’s time for a trim, my ends are looking a little shaggy. It’s funny because I haven’t straightened it to an inch of it’s life yet but I’ve gotten more compliments on the semi fluffy look it has going on right now than when I straighten it.

BUT my hair is past my shoulders skimming the middle of my bra strap now. It has taken FOREVER for it to grow back. I think I cut it to my chin in 2004 because my hair was severely damaged, it was turning blond on me, and of course I kept hacking it off because my left side grows quicker than the back and right side giving my hair an uneven look, finally got that under control and then it felt as if my hair grew an inch a year.

Now I see real growth. Therefore, I’m happy. Short hair works with some people *like MK* but I think I look better with long hair. Not that I have an odd shaped head or anything *lol* but I look extremely young with my hair short or pulled back.

Justin is in town tomorrow. I’ll be on the news Saturday *lol*