Saturday, March 29, 2008

Le *Sigh*

Monday I should be back to my semi blogging schedule

Working 40+ hours a week is no joke.

I'm still around...just no time to blog and comment

I'll holla

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Dang Yall Nosy lol....

Pro asked
what is it again that you do to earn enough money to cover your cell phone bill with the way the economy is these days?

Well as we all know, my ill-fated career as a stripper was cruelly cut short when I fell off the pole during auditions. I would like to note it wasn’t really my fault I couldn’t help it if I overly febreezed and bleached the pole, thus shattering my dreams of walking into the Acura dealership with my crumpled and slightly sweaty dollars bills and paying for my dream car in full.

Actually my phone bill is not as high as it used to be *damn those chatty friends on my day time minutes* and all the little add ons *text bundle plan, useless insurance, etc* is the crust of my phone bill. Before when I was a chatterbox on the phone and anti-text message *gasp can you imagine ME not loving texting* my phone bill was sky high…hence the ill fated attempt at stripping.

Now I’m content working as a Front Office Supervisor *Ise got power* for a major hotel chain. Ok well not content in the least but hey it pays the bills. And did I mention the power? You know I’m a whore for power.

*cue close up of infamous couch and sinister laugh*

Dejanae asked:
1where them wedding dress pics at? many people are invited? a wedding registry?
4.where's the honeymoon spot?

1. Girl right in that damn camera lol I am far too lazy to upload them. Geez putting me out on Front Street. I got yall….eventually.

2. Right now we’re hovering at 150-total. Trust we are not trying to feed every body and they mama. There’s currently a debate going on within the family because some folks call themselves being “slighted”. I haven’t seen you in over 20 years, have NO clue who you are, yet you want to come to the wedding?

3. I’ve opted out of doing a wedding registry. Although we love gifts as much as the next person, it’s not our thing. I won’t tell you how many stunned expressions we have received. I’m just leery of those things. I’m looking around our place and unless someone is going to come up off a new living room set, a flat screen TV, new entertainment centers…then we don’t need it. Shoot we still have the “paper plate” variety friends, what do I, Queen of Not Cooking and Being a Horrible Host, really need with crystal plates and china?

That’s the stuff I’m going to swipe from my grandmother when the times come for it *lol*

I’m still up in the air about a bachlorette party. I’m not too keen on the baby oil stripper with the freakishly long penis dry humping me, fucking up my club outfit with the baby oil, not to mention he might swing his dick the wrong way and smack me right in the eye. I like the strippers but I don’t like the strippers, feel me?

Plus my best friend put it, “Shit it’s not being a “Mrs.” is going to stop you from hitting the clubs, flirting, plotting for your 2nd husband…etc. Yall not the “ball and chain” couple anyway.”

So I may just party only with cute T-shirts and stuff. And since I LOOOVE to make up my own shit on t shirts, we’re playing with:

Whoda Thought SHE would be married?!

Temporarily Off the Market…But Still Accepting Applications

Don’t Worry…I’ll Be Divorced Soon…

Are YOU my 2nd Husband?

Bored Newly Wed Searching For Sexy UPS Man

…Yeah we’re just that retarded.

4. Currently that’s up in the air. Officially we’re going on our honey moon in December. Where…who knows? I want to go to Europe; he wants to go to the Islands. We’re probably going to flip a coin.

Charles asked:

Being boring sucks doesn't it? Nah I'm kidding...I'm not all that exciting either. But I was unaware that you're in VA until I read your profile...good ish. So what kind of work do you do exactly?

Outside of being a part time pervert and a full time smart ass, I find time to work for a major hotel, sexually harassing co-workers all while dodging HR and the cops *lol*

Actually I’m a Front Office Supervisor. A well earned promotion considering I was doing the job anyway for the free…

Dollface asked:

1.Are you staying in the area after you get married?
2.How long do you think you will be in debt because of this wedding...I saw that venue...NICE!!

3.Whatever happened to your 'mind twin'? She hasn't blogged in over a year!!

1. That’s our initial plan. Since he plans on pursuing a Ph.D, if he’s not accepted into anything in the DC/VA/MD area, we’ll probably be on the move again. He’s looking at schools in Texas, Illinois, California, and of course the area.

I’ve always said I wanted to move back to Chicago as soon as he finishes his Masters but the area has grown on me. I’m just along for the ride. Never thought I would move to the DC Metro area, let along enjoy it, but I have. I’m far from shunning my Chicago roots but I am quicker to say I’m from “Virginia” now and not “Illinois- Chicago to be exact”.

We’ll probably be in the area until we have kids and we’re on the first thing smoking back home to our mamas *lol*

2. Girl I am not even anticipating debt, at least nothing long term. We have a wedding account set up just for the wedding and that nest egg is looking might nice. Although if we paid for all of our groomsmen and bridesmaids *thank god for good sports* we would probably be substantial debt.

3. I know man, she’s hasn’t logged on to Yahoo in a minute, emails go unanswered…I miss my “mind twin” although when she comes out of hiding she knows she has a SERIOUS tongue lashing coming!!

Folks just can’t up and leave me like that *ahem Mr. Mack, I’m eyeing you too*, knowing I have bouts of extreme neediness.

Reading other people blogs and getting a glimpse into their lives makes me feel…I dunno like I’m not the only one out there with similar thoughts, or going through similar things. I dunno…makes me feel like I’m normal, ya know?

Saturday, March 08, 2008

Geez Am I Boring Or What....

I feel like such a loser

I have, like, nothing to talk about.

I mean spring is approaching, the pigeons in the parking garage are more in abundance *shudder* and the weather is getting better.

Invites are ordered. When I will actually receive them and mail them out is still up in the air.

Stupid job has blocked my ability to comment on blogs. YET I can still access porn sites *sigh*

And no I don't watch porn at work...anymore lol

And work is work. Not bad yet not good. Although one thing I hate about this promotion is the countless boring meetings I can't talk or charm my way out of. I've long stopped going to 95% of the meetings scheduled daily and for the most part it was like, eh...I'll just blow up her email with the minutes.

Trust I get countless irrelevant emails daily.'s like actual stalking to get me in meetings. Folks actually find me and drag me to meetings.

And...I can't even text during the shit!

Don't they know texting kept my head from sleepily banging the table as my theory is I think the mind numbing, painfully boring meetings are purposely scheduled after lunch knowing I have the "itis" after 12:30

But *sigh* no funny stories, adventures, or observations as of late.

I think I need to get out more.

But I always like when folks ask me stuff know what that means

Yup...Open Forum *yet again*

Ask and ye shall receive...or something like that lol

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Dedication to Dej....

Courtesy of my girl Dej's blog...yeah yeah heff so what I'm a couple of days late

1.describe urself in three words
Goofy, Sarcastic, Stubborn

2.describe me in three words
Dej is hilarious, intelligent and blunt as hell

3.wat is a phrase you use often ?
Some variation of someone's name followed stoopid
Seek therapy/treatment
Crack kill, you know?

4.have u ever done a family tree?
Not since elementary school. I think if I did one now I would "accidently" omit some folks from the family tree

5.when's the last time you went to a family reunion?
I went to JBN's last summer but an "official" one for my family...I think it was last year as well or maybe the year before that.

6. what's your favorite theme song?
I don't really pay attention to theme songs anymore but I get sorta excited when I hear Boondocks

7.the best cartoon ever?
Right now it's Boondocks hands down. I watch others of course but I heart Boondocks

8.your most prized possession?
I'm a packrat not to mention a secret sentamentialist *is that even a word lol* anything anyone who has ever given me something becomes a prized possession. I would run back into a burning home for my photo albums and massive Hello Kitty collection of course, but I'll also get the rug my moms gave me when I moved into my 1st apartment, bath towels that I swiped from my grandma that if I sniff deep enough I can still "smell" grandma's house, random trinkets, and my one hoop earring one of my closest friends gave me when I decided to start wearing jewelry again and I cried when I lost the other one

9. your favorite book?
I read so many I couldn't even tell you. I don't think I have one. I just have a lot that I never get tired of reading.

10.your favorite old school dance?
The cabbage patch and the Tom and Jerry hands down. Catch me when I'm drunk and I'll be working it out on the dance floor.

11. your favorite music video?
I've fallen out of favor with music videos, hell music in general lately, but "Thriller" naturally is one of my top videos of all time. I studied that video for weeks and I know the dance by heart. I won't tell you the performances I've forced people to watch shortly after I mastered the dance.

12. favorite villain?
Kevin Spacey in "Se7en", The Joker, Darth Vader, and Jigsaw hating ass are ones that popped in my head instantly. I kinda dig the bad guys in most movies anyway...that streak of evil lives strong in me

13.what's more entertaining flavor of love or i love new york??
Both shows are an embarrassment...which is why I continue to watch. Flav is more entertaining although his face isn't. Who doesn't like laughing at stupid, bust down skanks who is willing to "play like" someone who looks like something I crapped out when I was constipated.

14. how many people have you had sex with?
Geez Dej a lady doesn't reveal how many partners they've had...maybe tell you the number that's in the "He Doesn't Count" drawer...but never the real number *lol* I'm just going to say less than 10 but of course this may or may not include my "He Doesn't Count and I Will Fight To The Death Than Admit I Gave Him The Panties" drawer *wink wink*

15.where is the weirdest place you have ever had sex?
Weirdest place? The elevator...if you consider that weird. But I've also done the balcony, back seat of the car, public bathroom, slide at the park, park bench, and I did jag someone off on the train...but....mmmm nothing really "weird" I guess

16.what's the nicest thing you have ever done for a stranger?
When my icy hearts melt enough to beat *lol* I do randomly buy meals, give money, and help the elderly cross the street. There was a lady who lived around the corner from me who was handicapped I used to go to the grocery store for her and clean her apartment once a week for her. No cooking though, I wasn't trying to go to jail for poisoning the handicapped. I'm a pretty nice person although my demeanor screams "I'm an asshole" so I try to do something nice at least once a day.

I'm going to need all the good deeds I can to get in heaven lol

17.what is your biggest fear?
I would say my biggest fear is dying. I know we all have to do it, there's nothing I can do to avoid it but it still scares me. I guess it's more the questions I have about death than the actual dying part. OK and well I don't want to suffer or feel the life slipping out my body slowly. Like I want an instantaneous death or die in my sleep or something.

18.whats the worst thing you have ever done while drunk?
Ugh having sex with that asshole. Gin will make you sin.

19.what do you regret the most?
There's not too much that I regret in life. Maybe choosing a different route in college, redoing a couple of mistakes, listening more, etc.

20.what's the weirdest place you've ever been?
I don't think I've been anywhere weird.

21.have you ever had a threesome?
Not a sexual threesome...what type of person do you think I am?! However I have slept in the bed with more than three people before. FULLY clothed that is.

22.what's your funniest memory?
There's too many to choose from. I guess anything I blog about.

23.what's the meanest thing you've ever done to a friend?
Told the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
If we're not talking the child hood push off the bike, nothing outside of being truthful and telling the whole harsh truth about a person or situation. I've hurt feelings, made a few friends cry and while I don't think I was being mean, making someone cry is pretty mean even if it wasn't intentional right?