Tuesday, October 31, 2006

He's Back...

Synsational…stay out of my head ok?

People tell me why SIGMA will not leave me the hell alone?

It’s a damn shame when you have to log into Yahoo invisible so someone will not bombard you with IMs. And sometimes that doesn't work because he’ll just IM a one side conversation most of them ending with “I know you’re there, stop playing, answer the questions” with an Ike Turner “Anna Mae eat the cake” tone.

Is it the holidays that brings out this…or is it me?

Hell naw it’s the holidays.

It started with ignored texts, you know all the odes of affection that you can type in 160 characters.

Then random e-cards. “Just Thinking of You”, “Miss You”, “Just Because” even a damn “Happy Birthday” card. Ok the “Happy Birthday” was a sexually explicit card but I got what he was trying to say.

I guess when that didn’t work, fucking texts. Now you know I’m mad at this one.

Nigga has T-Mobile. I have Verizon. Dude you’re fucking with my 1000 text limit for people outside of the Verizon network. Shit I need those!

And then he resorted to IMing me since T-Mobile phones have Yahoo Messenger. Um when I said stop fucking sending me texts, I didn’t mean switch to IM!

So like a little bitch, I’m hiding my online status. Most of the time I’m actually online but I contact whom I want to talk to. It’s a damn shame really.

I’m resorting to hiding out to escape his ass.

So If I contact you and you notice I’m off-line, please don’t take offense. It’s me hiding because shit he could hide his status as well and pounce when I least expect it. Not to mention I could just block his ass…if I knew how. Not to mention he could create a new account and randomly IM me…If I knew how to cut that feature off I would. I have gotten tired of receiving random IMs from people up late at night trying to cyber with me.

I mean just because I’m up at 2 am is not an invitation to want to have cyber sex! And how horny are you really if you have to stop jacking off long enough to type how horny you are and how you’re jacking off right now?

Kind of defeats the purpose if you ask me. Sure a guy could probably do both but umm I’m right handed. Yeah that hand would be occupied if I was ever desperate enough to finger myself while on the computer.


I guess SIGMA is gaining steam. He was chilling in the cut for a nice minute after I told him we could no longer remain friends if his feelings were that deep for me. Never mind he could have easily been in the position of JBN had he not fucked that girl because he were mad that I “supposedly” fucked some dude and decided to get some “pay back” pussy.

How red his face must have been when it came out that those allegations were not true. In fact the guy in question was a good friend from high school who went to Eastern University and I ran into him at a party and he was drunk as fuck. Never mind he slept in my room fully clothed because I didn’t want him to drive in his condition back to his school and I slept on the floor in my own damn dorm room. I was not climbing into the top bunk after I've fallen off it a couple of times.

Also never mind this guy later became a Sigma and SIGMA helped with his process and he personally told him nothing went on as he had been with the same girl since high school *she’s now a Zeta* and I was just helping him out.

But whatever. Water under the bridge right?

He lost. JBN won. Simple as that. I mean damn at least JBN would ask first before diving into some girl’s pussy, but whatever.

I was a little salty at him for a couple of months but we got back cool. He never made a move on me although I knew he wanted to. Shit sometimes I wanted him to make a move, dangling bait in front of him, but he never took it. I mean you don’t forget a tongue like that. I mean homeboy has some serious mouth skills. Sometimes his mouth was a little too good, made me wonder how many ladies he practiced on before perfecting his skill.

I thought he was pretty cool about the end of our friendship, I mean I was sad because he is a good friend to have and I could tell him anything in confidence without worrying that he would tell someone. I considered him a very close friend in my small circle of inner friends.

But I couldn’t lead him on like that. I couldn’t let him think that I’ll break up with my guy over him, or shit if we ever broke up that I would be with him because I wouldn’t.

I thought he took it well. Shit how wrong I was.

I’ll be at work and my phone just going constantly off. Missed calls and texts. Now he knows better. He knows I don’t pick up unfamiliar numbers. Especially too many 773, 312 or 708 numbers. Quit playing.

Then his cryptic ass texts. How come we can’t be together? Do I miss him? How come I wont talk to him? He loves me. I love him. I’m running scared. Do I think of him? Do I miss what we had? He just wants a piece of me, not all. He could be my “side guy”. He has dreams about me all the time. I know I’m not happy with JBN, he could make me happy. Don’t marry JBN, marry him. I’d never have to work a day of my life if I was with him. He’d walk to the end of the earth to make me happy. He misses me. Why am I ignoring him? Don’t I care that he’s pouring his heart out? He wants to have my children. He wants to grow old with me. Why am I doing this to him? I am cold. No, he didn’t mean that, he loves me. When am I coming to Chicago? Could I see him when I come home? He just wants to touch my face.


I could go on and on about all of his ramblings but that’s the gist of it. All sounds sweet but shit I know him. I’ve seen him sweet talk chicks right out their panties minutes after meeting them.

Shit I should know. I was one of them. Ok well it took two days but that’s not the point.

Am I just that fucking cynical? Do I think every male has an alternative reason behind the sweet words? A guy could tell me something like, “You’re pretty” and automatically, “Whatever dude” falls out of my mouth.

It’s like I always have to question something. An “I miss you” is returned by several questions, “Why” being the main one, followed by six follow up questions. It’s like I refuse to believe you so I’m going to interrogate the shit out of you to see if you’re being real or bullshiting.

Damn when did I become so…jaded?

Or maybe I’m just jaded on people that I know and people where I can sniff out the bullshit. I’ll get away messages stating “I missed you”. How could you miss something you never had? How can you miss someone you barely know?

I take everything with a grain of salt. Or maybe I’m just trying to protect my fragile heart.

But his voice sounds so sincere. No matter how cold I am to him or snap at him, his sweet voice counters back. He sounds so warm all the time, his words sound so real.

But tuh, he’s probably looking to fuck. To see if he could break down my
relationship. Well it takes more than some good dick to get deep down in my soul. The dick may hit one spot but it’ll never hit home. Never a home run, maybe a walk.

Ah ha, see I know a baseball term or two.

Why bother me of all people? He knows me. He knows how fucked I can be. He knows this so why is he still hanging on to the hope that we could be together? He knows how my mind works. He knows what I would do in a number of situations.

Shit him fucking some chick? Shit I’d done the same. But I rubbed it in the guy’s face before I dumped him. Take that my nigga. Two can play that.

Shit I wasn’t even mad at the act, I was more mad at the person and the accusation that I was cheating. When I wasn’t.

Now he’s ruining my day off. I guess he senses I’m near a computer thus he has resumed his daily bombard of IMs.

Killing part…I wonder what his girlfriend thinks of all this.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Late Night Conversations....

Why is it so hard for people to believe that I am 23?

But I guess I can’t twist my mouth to complain too much, I mean I’ve been told I was “immature” by virtually everyone I know for as long as I could remember.

I mean I still watch cartoons, wear character underwear, laugh at fart jokes, have a made up language with friends, and generally jeans, t-shirts and gym shoes/flip flops make up majority of my wardrobe. Graphic tees with cute and shocking phrases are prominently in my closet. I wear a lot of low-rise jeans usually tight to the point of loss of blood circulation in my legs or at least a potential chance of a yeast infection.

I mean how does a 23 year old supposed to act? I can only act like myself and shit if I find something funny, hell it’s funny.

I guess I have been missing a lot of memos. I mean first the “All dark skinned people are supposed to be ugly thus I should take “I’m cute for a dark skinned girl” comments as a compliment” and now “23 years old should act I guess like 40 year olds.”


I guess I have been sleeping through those meetings that document this.

Oh well. Fuck it. If you want a mature 23 year old, I advise you look elsewhere. Now if you want a relatively immature 23 year old who at times act like a mature adult, then I am that person for you.

I will be dragged into adulthood kicking and screaming like I will down the aisle. Shit I’m holding on to my youth…ok not like Michael Jackson but I want to remain young for as long as I can.

And no I won’t be that middle aged woman rocking my daughter’s outfits, trying to go to the clubs with her and her friends, getting drunk and talking about how “fly” I was when I was their age and I had a 26 waist before my daughter fucked up my figure, ending the night drunk sobbing into a bottle.

Oh wait. That’s only in my family you get those conversations.
Slump…you are hilarious. I can always count on you to leave dirty comments in my comment box. *lol*

Even though…I mean Jamie Foxx? I mean you couldn’t conjure up another person? Jamie has never appealed to me actually. Never.

And Slump I tend not to pick up strangers without asking them their prices and what do they do for those prices.

But I can agree with you on the other points. Shit if you got women slurping you in the Wendy’s bathroom can you please direct me to these women so I can ask where are their brothers?

I mean a trait like that should be hereditary right?

And I still wouldn’t give it up to him anyway. In fact what the hell is he doing trying to pick up women in McDonald’s anyway? I mean damn is he R. Kelly or something? I remember R. Kelly picked up his young chicks at the Rock and Roll McDonald’s downtown. I guess I looked even too young for him as he never looked in my direction.

Not that I would want him to. I mean I could see fucking but pissing? That shit is just nasty. How am I going to explain that to my mama, coming home smelling like piss? Sex maybe. I could slide in the bathroom for a quick shower and she probably wouldn't smell me if she wasn't too close, but piss? That stench carries.

Speaking of nasty, I’m on three way with TWIN and FOOL *yeah we’re talking again. I’m surprised. The last time we had it out we didn’t talk for two months* and the subject of anal sex comes up, I think we were watching the same thing on TV.

I think it’s disgusting and I would never do it. I know, never say never, I mean I said I would never suck dick and well…

I know a few of my friends have tried it and a few haven’t. Some liked it. Some didn’t. All walking around with slightly looser booty holes.

Ok but this time I’m serious. Why would I want someone to stick their dick in my butt when there’s a perfectly good hole inches below that hasn’t had a lot of wear and tear?

And I mean fucking with the booty have side effects right? I mean doesn’t that loosen your bowels? I mean what if you’re trying to rush to the bathroom and just let loose because you can’t clench your booty like you used to?

I tense up if a damn finger comes near that area let alone anything else. I mean it’s one thing to lick something that has blood that comes out of it, but it’s another to lick something that, well, shit comes out of. I don’t even like to have my salad tossed. I mean what’s the enjoyment in a wet booty? And once again, lick something that I will enjoy, like that good vagina.

“Don’t knock it ‘til you try it” my ass.

If you want anal, you better go to jail because that’s the only way you’re getting some booty hole. Why would a man want to stick his dick in a butt anyway? Isn’t that, well, homosexual? I mean if the broad’s coochie was too loose, I guess that’s one thing. I mean that should tell you how much coochie workouts she’s getting but the butt?


JBN has never brought up the topic because I mean he know where I stand on this issue, he knows the deal, he better hit up jail or some other chick if he’s that damn curious, but other men? Tuh, some act as if I’m committing some crime against nature by not offering the booty.

I’ve heard all the lines, excuses and reasons on why I should as well as the rebuttals when I refuse.

Here’s a few:

1. It feels tighter. *Um how would you know, are you a woman? How the HELL would you know what it feels like…unless you’ve had it done to you that is.”

2. I’m a “little girl” for my way of thinking. *When I was a little girl, I was thinking about Barbies, not anal sex*

3. I’m being a punk. *Is that supposed to be some half-assed reverse psychology? Like I’m going to stomp my foot and declare “I’m NOT a punk…here I’m show you….take my booty virginity. On the contrary I’m nodding my head like “Yup I’m a punk”*

4. My last girlfriend/fuck friend/stranger let me do it. *Clap hands. Great. Your girl was a freak. Since we’re not the same person what does this have to do with me again? I mean the last guy I messed with did all types of freaky things, does that mean you’re obligated to do it? Come to think of it, why the hell did yall break up if she let you put it in her booty?*

5. I promise…it won’t hurt. *Once again…how would you know? Come on now this is the same girl who avoided sex after my first time for a nice minute because that shit was painful. In fact I’m having flashbacks right now*

Here my answer: You can fuck me in the ass when I can do the same. I mean let me strap up and ram a dick up your ass. Fair is fair right? I mean let me do you and then maybe you can do me. Note the word "maybe".

So far no takers.

And of course I have to go first and you still wouldn’t get the booty. In fact I’m running to the bathroom to call my girls. And maybe some of your guys.

Oh we laughed for hours talking about the subject I mean if I can’t talk about it with friends, who can you? I mean sometimes that’s the joy in having male friends. I mean only a male friend will tell you if your techniques for sucking dick is wack because I mean everyone knows you have to pay attention to the balls while sucking the dick, in fact you gotta lick them bad boys too don’t leave them out in the cold. And male friends won’t try to sanitize it. Shit sometimes I take notes, like “For real…wait repeat that”.

Gosh sometimes I wish I were a male. And then I realized I would probably be a pervert because I would constantly touch myself.

I am a groper. I am always palming my guy’s shit *in the house not out in public like I see some people doing* because I am amused when it gets hard. I like that I have that effect on him. But then again this is a man whose dick gets hard at the thought of fried chicken. Hell I like to think that I have that effect on every man. Maybe I do. Maybe I don’t.

It’s all in the booty. Well not literally of course.

See I am a pervert.


I guess I’m showing my age. Only I still get excited when I turn on HBO and there’s a dirty movie on. I would call one of my friends and we would giggle throughout the whole movie. And lawd don’t let anyone walk in the room, we’re flipping channels like we used to do when we were kids watching Skinamax and we didn’t want our mothers to catch us looking at dirty flicks.

Never mind that we have our own places, we still do it like we’re going to get caught and scolded.

It’s Halloween time. I’m debating whether I should buy a costume. In college I dressed up, of course a sluttier outfit than when I was a child.

Wait what am I talking about? My mother made our costumes. I was a damn ghost, bee, and princess every other year which meant a sheet, a gold/black outfit, and a party dress were my costume.

I’m thinking of hitting up the present and future strippers of America store, Frederick’s of Hollywood, maybe I could be a skanky nurse or something. But I think I’d be arrested as a street walker more likely if I walk around DC in a get-up like that.

I would dress as a stripper but I think people really believe me when I tell folks *with a straight face* that I am an exotic dancer. I mean I do work long hours, on my feet, deal with all sorts of customer, and I did burst out of one of my shirts the other day…and not to mention I work in a “Ho”-tel *yeah lame I know*.

Even though I have to remind folks there is a different between the ‘Mo and a Hotel. Ok we don’t rent by the hour. And our rates are pretty up there. That’s a lot of chop to pay just to fuck someone for an hour or two and then you’re ready to go.

If they weren’t trying to work me like a damn sharecropper during Reconstruction, I’d get a room every weekend and relax. I mean I have a great discount and I’m starting to get to know folks at other hotel chains so I can get their discount as well. I know shameless right? But shit I’ll go in any store and flirt for a discount, you know I love a good sale.

Speaking of sale, I need to stay my ass off of Victoria’s Secret website. Already I have bought too many bras and panties. Yeah I dance in my undies. I walk around in my underwear so you know I have to profile in the cute ones.

Blinds closed of course. I’m not trying to give the pervert who live across from me a free show. Or the people who stay at the Hilton directly across from me. Although they would have to be pretty hard up to try to get a peek of me dancing around the house.

I need a new phone. I’m waiting for the new Blackberry to arrive with Verizon.

Better yet I need to know more people with Verizon! What’s the point of having unlimited In Calling texts when I know only three people with Verizon? Everyone is either bootleg Sprint, T-Mobile or Nextel.


Only one more days of this shit.

I can’t wait to put my feet up.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Spending my Weekend...Working

See! I was right!

Working from Sunday to Sunday straight. My off days next week are Monday and Friday.

*sigh* What can I say about my job that hasn’t already been said?

As the time slowly ticks by as I am stuck working at the desk instead of hiding in the back, I sigh. I sigh deeply.

Whiny co-worker girl that I mentioned a few blogs ago has been playing me super close after I had to chew that ass because the heifer decided that she was going to tell a blatant lie on me.

Better yet how the fuck is you going to tell a lie like I wasn’t going to find out? Like I’m the type to keep my mouth shut. So I had to put that ass on blast.

And this is the same person who wonders why no one in our department likes her.

A few weeks ago she had it out with another co-worker and being how she is she sent a long email to everyone of course telling her side of the story making her seem like an innocent party.

Basically she got her ass handed to her by another co-worker but made it seem like she was assaulted with “fists” rather than “words”.

Pretty serious allegations but she’s the type to do vindictive things like that all the time. Never mind she had it coming and I was standing right there. Now she could’ve gotten street with whiny co-worker but no she told her what she had to say *without cursing* and went about her business.

Of course you know she cried after the confrontation.

And then decided to get even. I mean what is someone’s job to her? Never mind she has a family to support, I mean sure I’m going to get someone terminated because they told me the deal. Better yet to add on to that, I can file charges against you for assault so not only do you not have a job but you’re looking at maybe some jail time or at least a record.

I mean fair is fair right? *stupid bitch*

Where was I during this?

Like a muthafucking fly on the wall.

Ok no, I was walking past and heard snippets of the conversation so you know I had to ear hustle because it was about time someone *other than me and another girl* told her the deal.

Of course the email that coincidentally was not sent to me and only after I went to our manager about something completely unrelated did he mention that “my” side has already been documented. They were trying to save face because the other co-worker had went to the RM, GM, HR and Corporate after finding out the allegations about her so they wouldn’t try to give her the boot without cause. And basically they didn’t want Corporate all up in our shit so they were trying to squash it before it got ugly.

I’m glad they realized that we live in the times of “suing someone’s ass off” and we’ll take your ass to Judge Mathis if we have to.

It’s funny how the RM didn’t believe a word of the email but the GM was more than willing to believe it but that’s another story.

I mean who would you believe: A sweet little Southern WHITE woman or a feisty BLACK woman born and raised in DC?

Turns out this bitch went and told him “my” side of the story for me! And of course I was collaborating with her story! I mean she laid that shit on thick as hell too.

So you know I was pissed. I went off in that office. How dare this broad lie on me! So he called her in the office and when that broad saw me cut her the fierce side eye I thought she was going to crap in her Ann Klein’s. Of course you know I confronted her on “my” alleged story and bitch stammered and stuttered her way through it.

And then burst in tears.

*sigh* Typical white girl reaction. If I had a dollar for every time a white girl cried over some unnecessary shit I would be one rich chick.

As we know tears don’t sway me at all nor does it stop my verbal assault on your ass. I still read her ass and stormed out the office. Now see anyone else would have been fired for cursing at another co-worker in front of a superior and lying on a co-worker. What did she get? A muthafucking warning and she had to write apology letters.

What is this, elementary school? Oh wait my elementary school let you box it out. *sigh* Inner city schools, gotta love them.

I ripped my shit up. Bitch don’t say shit else to me. I seriously told her when we work together we’re going to play telephone. Don’t say shit to me, you’ll have to get another person to say it for you.

Thought I was playing? Shit she asked me something and I blinked at the bitch and turned my face.

So now the heifer has been tripping over herself trying to make up for her “serious” mistake. She just “thought” that I would naturally agree with her. Bitch that’s what you get for thinking! Why would I agree with your story?

Buying me cookies *garbage*, cards *ripped up*, and just generally being an annoying twit which annoys me even more because I can’t slap her like I want *security cameras*.

Why can’t she just say, “Fuck it! I’ve said I was sorry, you won’t accept, oh fucking well. I tried.” And go about her business.

Shit that’s what I’d do.

But I’m on to her little tricks. She’s waiting to be really sweet and helpful when someone of importance is around so I can be a bitch to her which would make me look bad.

No No young squaw. That’s not how it works. Two can play that game.

Sometimes I think her whiny routine is a front and deep down this heifer is a psychopath. I mean she’d twist the knife deep in your back and then cry about it to someone else. She’ll slide up to you and say some little slick shit with a twisted little smile on her face. Only when she had an audience does she lay on the performance of her life.

And crying? Shit isn’t all white girls’ pros at that? I’ve seen them sob over a sweater in the wrong color so I know it’s nothing for them to lay on a little water works.

But I’m assuming she’s never been around many Black people before because while those tears may stir a reaction in someone else, in us you’d get a “Shut the fuck up crying. Be a man”!

Not to mention we have worked together all week. Maybe she’s the source of my anger…you think? I forgot all about the bitch until I read T. Cas’ blog and she filtered into my thoughts.

*sigh* Let me finish this report so I can go home.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Random Shit Talking...

Why do it seem like I have been working without a break for the last two weeks?

Oh wait maybe because I have been working straight with damn near no break. I mean I had last Friday and Saturday off but this week, six days I am working. That meant I have been working since Sunday without a break.

And I know them. I’ll be probably working an extra two or three days before I get a break.

As you can probably tell I am not in the best mood. In fact I am just down right grouchy like.

Damn why can’t I hit the Power ball and that’ll be the end of my working days? Ok I guess I’d have a better chance of winning if I actually played the lottery but whatever.

I’m coming out of my stank funk but I’m still grumbling.

You know what irks me though? Stupid questions and jokes on my name. And folks have the nerve to get an attitude when obviously I am not amused by their dumb chatter and dumb jokes. You know how someone will say a lame joke and others will laugh out of politeness *or sometimes it's just that white humor that I don't get*, I'm the one that's not laughing. In fact, I'm asking someone to explain the joke because obviously the punchline has gone completely over my head. Better yet, I just say the shit was not funny and keep it moving.

Yeah crushing future comedians one step at a time.

Case in point: At work. I get the same dumb ass questions and jokes at least every other guest. I mean how many people are going to ask me:

1. Am I related to Latoya Jackson? *Yeah like I would be working if I was part of the Jackson family*

2. Was I named after LaToya Jackson? *Actually I was but that’s not the point. I mean the Gospel of LaToya is a lost book of the Bible, I mean you didn’t know?*

3. How do I spell my name? *Um the name tag should give you an idea. That's not an abbreviation you know. Damn I’m sure my mother didn’t intentionally make the spelling hard. I mean it’s not like I have 3 Qs, 6 Es and a W in my name*

4. How are my brothers’ Michael, Tito and Jermaine *chuckle chuckle, this one really get the giggles going*? *My brother’s name is Christopher ass wipes*

5. Wow you look just like her! *Don’t ever in your life insult me like that. I will NEVER look like her. Do white people really think they’re giving me a compliment when they say I look like her? Bitch we’re not even the same skin complexion! And I don’t have the Wet and Wavy in Soul Glo Black either!*

**blogger is acting an ass so I can't post comparison pictures**

6. Did I have any funny nicknames? *Bitch am I here to amuse you? What the hell type of question is that? Why don’t you tell me what the fuck you’re disturbing me for rather than ask me dumb ass questions! I mean what does a dripping faucet has to do with my childhood nicknames? I mean how do you know I'm not in therapy over my "traumatic childhood" and I won't have an episode and cut the shit out of you? I mean my gawd think people think! What kid didn’t get teased over their name? I was called Toyota *I love what you do for me Toyota…*, Latoya Jackson *duh*, To-To *why I don’t know*, and Toy-Toy *I blame my mom, of the infamous fucked up bathrobe and slippers complete with the sponge roller ensemble, who would say that to me when I “accidentally” left my glasses at home and of course to embarrass me further…”Give me some sugar…”*

Look I know my name is lame and probably doesn’t scream “Doctor or Lawyer” as every “ghetto” chick is usually a LaToya and nine times out of ten we’re loud. Sure there’s some quiet LaToya’s out there but not many. I mean my best friend TWIN and I share the same name.

Of course stupid questions times two. The most annoying ones…”Are yall related”? Yeah our mother had absolutely no originality so she named me LaToya 1 and she’s LaToya 2. "Are you two twins"? Yeah we’re 4 months apart…and we were born to different mothers and fathers. At different hospitals. In different parts of the city. In fact we were raised apart for 14 years, I mean damn you didn't know Sister Sister was loosely based on our lives? In fact, we're suing the producers right now. Never mind the only thing we have in common is our height and skin complexion but yeah we’re identical though.

Dumb asses.

I’ve noticed that. Every LaToya that I have met act the same exact way. We’re usually a loud, obnoxious bunch. There’s a few “bougie” LaToya’s but not many. Almost all of us are dark skinned. I have yet to meet a light skinned LaToya. She’d probably have nappy hair anyway.


Also apparently I must have some type of “look” about me that screams “skank” or “hoe” or something. Like I look like I just give it up to anyone who asks.

Case in point:

I’m at McDonald’s *shut up I’m cheating on my diet but I need my Sweet Tea fix* minding my own damn business. I’m trying to remember if I already had a “Park Place” Monopoly piece *I did…ok I’ve a lame. I play the Monopoly game every year. I’m like a crack head on game pieces. Yeah I will ask can I have your game pieces…so if anyone has a Pennsylvania Ave one…umm send it my way please* when some dude slides in the seat across from me. I think he was talking for a few minutes before he actually broke my intense concentration. That should have told him something.

He was aiight, I mean the grill could’ve used some braces but who gave you permission to sit with me?

In his cute little Southern accent he tried to holla. I wasn’t in the mood so I was giving really short one word answers as I sipped my tea. Usually dudes get frustrated and leave.

Of course he gave me the standard “I’m cute for a dark skinned girl” *a damn insult if you ask me. And besides I was looking like a hot mess warmed over. Why is it when I look my trashiest I pull the most dudes?* and started interrogating the shit out me. I mean nigga wanted my whole life story and shit.

One word answers.

Then he said this and I swear I heard him wrong, “So…You wanna get a room?”

Excuse me? *clutches drawstrings of hoodie like old white socialite being approached by black man on crowded street*

Repeate por favor? *LOL funny I don’t speak Spanish but I remember the most obscure shit in Spanish. Oh wait this is the only term in Spanish that I knew as I was always telling my instructors it when caught not paying attention*

I mean gave me the sexy look and everything.

If I didn’t love my Sweet Tea he would’ve been wearing that shit. I just snapped, “I don’t get down like that!” and left.

I am a fucking lady. Don’t approach me like I’m some gutter rat who makes sucking dick a profession!

I mean it’s not the first time this has happened. At times I’m not even sure I should be insulted or proud.

Better yet is that a badge I even want to wear? Wow look at me, men want to fuck me the first night they see me. Don’t need to know my name or anything, just do I spit or swallow?

Maybe I just have that “I’m not looking for a relationship, I’m looking to fuuuuckkk” face or something.

Or maybe it’s my callous mouth. I do have an astonishing potty mouth for a lady. I curse constantly. I have a crude sense of humor and I have a pretty open mind when it comes to sex *um no anal and gross stuff though*.

I guess the same stuff that is regular to me equals “dirty tramp” to others.

But whatever.

Or maybe it’s the booty. A booty my size must equals freaks. You know if you let a dude hit it from the back it’ll make your butt bigger.

*LOL* Yeah I was told this by the same person who told me by letting a dude suck on my breasts it’ll make them grow.

As we all know obviously that is so not true. If anything it made mine smaller!

Ah the advice of the skankiest cousin in the family. You know the one who taught 12 year olds how to suck a dick using a banana. How to kiss using a stuffed animal. Better yet, how to gank *use* a nigga for his cash using the power of the P-U-S-S-Y.

Yeah the same cousin who has three bad ass kids by three different men but at least they stay geared up. Never mind the oldest can’t tell you his address for shit but damn if he doesn’t know T.I’s King album word for word.

Or is that only in my family?

I had to change my Face Book picture after folks accused me of being pregnant The picture of me and JBN with me in the white shirt…That’s the so-called “maternity shirt” I blogged about a few months ago. Do I really look pregnant in that shirt?

Tuh like I would proudly display a knocked up picture of me. More like a picture of me sobbing while shooting death glares at JBN.

I won’t front though. He is a nice looking man but he looked like a cute Cabbage Patch Doll as a baby. I am not pushing a baby with his size head out of me.

Stretching out my vagina I think not.

Oh wait, my vagina is already supposed to be stretched out due to all the sex I supposedly had during my collegiate years.

I just want to know where the hell I was during all of the romps.

An ex-best friend has been sending me messages via Face Book. See that’s my fault for relaxing my “If I don’t know you or fuck with you, I’m not accepting your friendship notice” rule as now I just hit “Accept” to everything.

We were cool as shit during high school. She was part of the stomping crew of TWIN, ICEE, FH, I and a few other girls even though TWIN couldn’t stand her ass.

We went through a lot together. Until college. When her schizo-side that was peeking in high school exploded.

Bitch went crazy basically. I remember this heifer called me a 3 o’ clock in the morning screaming at the top of her lungs that I ate her Milky Way bar when she went home that weekend.

*side note-My freshman year fall semester, I lived in a different dorm with a Chinese girl who never was in the room. Basically she lived with her boyfriend. I have a few stories about that. Crazy friend and ICEE were roommates until Crazy decided to abruptly quit school. Bitch packed up her shit after Thanksgiving and never came back. Never mind she lied about her leaving school and the main reason she left was she thought her boyfriend was cheating *he wasn't*. And then ICEE and I became roommates Spring Semester 2002 even though a lot of people assumed I lived in their dorm anyway because I was there so much. I think a lot of rumors started when people would see me leaving their dorm at odd hours *aka the fucking hours* to go back to my own room *unknown to them* I mean duh who didn't hear my gripping about living in the "Engineer Major" dorm where majority of the girl's side were White or Asian?*

We were always having it out with ICEE the “peacemaker” breaking us up. I mean she had about a good sixty pounds on me *back when I was 115 pounds soaking wet* but don’t think I wouldn’t have scrapped with her like a crack head over the last rock.

When she called and woke me up for that foolishness…I fucking snapped. I remember telling her to meet me outside her dorm since she was talking so recklessly and I’ll be there in 5 minutes.

Our dorms were about 10 blocks from one another but it was a straight shot. In fact I could see her dorm from my dorm’s window. I had on mis-matched shoes and everything and was about to head out the door when ICEE called and begged for us to calm down but fuck that shit. I’m not about to be woken up and cursed over a fun-sized Milky Way Bar. Not even the full bar but the little ones that we got at dinner every night. And I don’t even eat fucking Milky Ways!

I got to the dorm and of course she wouldn’t come downstairs I guess she thought I was playing or something so why did I go around the building and hollered up at her room *11th floor* like they do in the projects for her to bring her black ass downstairs. Woke up folks on that side of building but fuck that, if I ain’t sleeping, ain’t nobody sleeping!

When she left school I found out she was spreading lies like I was supposed to be spreading my legs. According to a good friend of ours, me and ICEE was fucking and sucking everything that moved. We were lushes *ok we kinda were but damn not like that* and we had at least three niggas over a night. All types of craziness.

Now me personally I didn’t care because shit I was hearing worse. I was more salty that the bitch was slick talking to the next man about us but after confronting her and she denying with her lying ass everything she said, I just wrote her out my book. Told her to keep her five feet from me and we were no longer friends. I was pissed though that she dragged ICEE, a woman who would give you the shirt off her back, give you her last $1 and don’t expect it back, sweet as hell to everyone no matter what, name into the foolishness. ICEE was so hurt she cried which made me mad.

No one makes my fucking friends cry.

So I haven’t spoken to this heifer since 2001 basically and here she is Face Stalking me. Always wanting to know when I am coming home, when we can kick it, what’s new in my life….like we just haven’t been talking for the past 5 years?

Ain't that about a bitch?

No matter how much I tell the broad to leave me the fuck alone and took her off my friendship list, she keeps coming strong. Like she’s going to wear me down or something.

Damn she’s like a persistent nigga who’s determined to get the pussy. Just going to badger it out of you until finally you say fuck it and give him some “Damn if I give you some pussy will you leave me the fuck alone” pussy.

How about you sip a tall glass of “Get the Hell out My Face” with a side of “Before I Bitch Slap You” cookies.

I ain’t forgotten Bitch. No one spreads dirt about me and think I’m going to forget.

I mean damn if you are please get the story right. I mean don’t say some shit that sounds so fucking stupid that even my sanctified grandmother would say, “Bitch you lying”.

How could I fuck a nigga Wednesday when that Wednesday I was with you? I guess my pussy had an “out of panties” experience, flew in this nigga’s crib, fucked him, and then zapped back onto my body.

I mean damn why couldn’t they be the cute niggas at that? Why do I get the creepy guy that lurks in the stacks at the library? Why couldn’t I get the dumb as shit football player with the body? Yeah he’s dumb as a rock, I mean yeah Lawrence Fishburne was really a Tuskegee Airman, but damn his body was lovely.

SO heifer fuck you and the horse you rode in on.

*sigh* Let me go back to work, oh wait…another LaToya Jackson reference.

Send me home Jee-bus. Send me home.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Another Tag...

The Two Words Tag (All answers must be in two words)

1. Explain what ended your last relationship? Crazy Tendencies
2. When was the last time you shaved? This Morning
3. What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.? Sleeping Deeply
4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago? Finishing Post
5. Are you any good at math? Hell No
6. Your prom night? No Sex.
7. Do you have any famous ancestors? Not Sure
8. Have you had to take a loan out for school? Still Paying
9. Do you know the words to the song on your myspace profile? MySpace Devil
10. Last thing received in the mail? Cable Bill
11. How many different beverages have you had today? Tea Pepsi
12. Do you ever leave messages on people's answering machines? When necessary
13. Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to? Immature Rocked!
14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach? Sure Do
15. What's the most painful dental procedure you've had? Wisdom teeth
16. What is out your back door? No Back
17. Any plans for Friday night? Not Yet
18. Do you like what the ocean does to your hair? Frizzy Mess
19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns? Ate All
20. Have you ever been to a planetarium? Of course
21. Do you re-use towels after you shower? Uh Yeah
22. Some things you are excited about? Good Dick
23. What is your favorite flavor of JELLO? Cherry “Red”
24. Describe your keychain(s): Three Keys
25. Where do you keep your change? Silver Dish
26. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people? Work Meetings
27. What kind of winter coat do you own? Pea Coat
28. What was the weather like on your graduation day? Mildly Warm
29. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed? Closed Tight

The Incredibly Weird What If Question Meme

1. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be? Dem Franchise Boys…I mean what’s their purpose again?

2. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice? Only once? Damn! I guess I’d get my childhood fantasy Morris a try…

3. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who do you pick? The Old D’Angelo or JT *White Boy Choice*

4. Now that you’ve slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy shit, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it? Ok…Holy Shit?! T are you going to White Folk’s blogs again? With $100, I’d get 100 $1 bills and hit the strip club *lol*

5. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? I’m hitting Jamaica baby!

6. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Shit! Now that you are in the new location, what are you gonna do? Buy me some fast and loose Jamaican men.

7. The Angel of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour? Go on a mass killing spree, shit I’m taking someone with me *lol*

8. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What’s it gonna be? I know this is a damn lie because I don’t eat a lot of veggies *hang head* I’d want to use mind control to read folks’ thoughts and control things, like Jean Grey in X-Men

9. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? It’ll probably be some random point in my childhood.

10. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there? Rufus *lol* Oh my gawd, Jheri Curl and all huh? I’d go back to Africa and tell Black folks NOT to get on the fucking boat! Kill Nigga Kill!!!

11. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? Damn only one? October 11, 2002.

12. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! Bitchin’! What country are you going to live in now? Damn I’m going to run to Nambia like Wesley.

13. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier has given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which celebrity will you bring back to life? Ok why would I want to do this and I thought the veggies only gave me super powers? I’d bring back Biggie so he could smack the shit outta Puffy.

14. What’s your theme song? I have no idea…someone pick one for me

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

I Am So Lazy....


You would think after last weekend’s agenda of hard partying I would make it a repeat weekend right?


I did absolutely nothing this weekend. I slept all weekend. No lie. I was in bed by 11 and I slept until noon. Woke up watched TV, napped, cooked *gasp yes I used the stove for a change*, watched more TV and went back to sleep.

I have HBO on Demand now so I can stop bitching about missing The Wire every Sunday due to work. Now I can watch it when I get off of work. I won’t trip on the fact that I had to damn near strong arm the box out of the woman’s arm at the cable company. She just was not going to give me the box without paying for digital cable as well. My reasoning is why would I pay extra for channels that I won’t watch, I only watch about 6 or 7 channels as it is and I just wanted HBO.
Damn Comcast is like a telemarketer!

Of course I go home and of course I have digital cable. Had to call the next day to have it turned off, which was another hassle because of course the guy urged me to keep it.

Wow how productive was my weekend. Of course I had to work the dreaded night shift. What is it with this property that loves my black ass at night? Do they not know I loathe working at night? The more I beg for morning shifts, the more night shifts I’m given. Can’t win for shit.

Oh and last week why did the idiots who live above us decided to flood their bathroom? Oh and why did maintenance take their sweet time getting downstairs? They came by at the crack of dawn *I was sleeping* and told JBN they wanted to check on our bathroom, which was dry as a whistle.

I get up hours later and open the linen closet, why is all of my shit soaked? I mean puddles and shit were on the bottom of the floor.

I was livid. The fucking linen closet is directly next to the bathroom, you mean to tell me common sense told you to not check the closet?

All of my blankets, towels, and some extra toiletries were soaked. I had to throw out a few bars of soap and I’m too scared to plug in my hair dryers but I refuse to throw them out. Shit those are Conair dryers!

I’m pissed of course because my shit is fucking soaked, I have less than an hour to get to work, which means I have to leave the shit soaking wet in the apartment not to mention the cat is lapping up the water from the floor and I might come home to a dead animal and a stint on Animal Police.

So you know before I ran out the door to work I went and chewed out the woman at the desk .

I mean damn was it that hard to look in the fucking linen closet? And some of the colored towels bled onto the white towels so I’m double pissed. So now I have to leave wet linen in the middle of my floor while I go to work and I knew they would smell like mildew by the time I got off of work. JBN and I both got off of work extremely late and his laundry skills are not the best so that meant I had to get up at damn near the crack of dawn to wash.

I was assured that maintenance would come by to look at the leak. That was at 2:15.

Why did I call home at eight and maintenance still was not there? In fact the muthafuckers were gone for the day.

I already was having a shitty day at work and now this.

You know I was mad. Very mad.

The next day *after once again showing my black ass, see they would never have to deal with me if they did the shit right the first time* I wash all of my linen. I was almost late for work due to the blankets taking forever to dry.

Oh you know they gave me the money to wash my shit. I was not about to come out of pocket for this shit. They tried to argue that four floors were affected and we were the only ones complaining. I had to let them know that when it’s the fault of the building you pay up. I can give a fuck less about the next man; we’re talking about my shit here. My linen was fresh and dry until the idiots decided to flood their bathroom, why should I have to pay to have my things washed when they were clean in the first place?

Maintenance finally showed up two days later to access damage and re-paint all of the shelves.

They’re lucky I was not at home because I would have had to get ugly with them. No wet paint signs either. If I did not smell the paint and touch the shelves, I would have been washing again.


Not a great way to end a week. I guess I was grateful for my weekend of laziness.
Then I looked up and realized it has been a week since I’ve updated my blog. I’ve been commenting but not doing much.

Actually, I do not have anything to talk about.

But I promise. Back to my daily novels real soon.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

HU's Homecoming Saga Pt 2....

Saturday I was bone tired. I did not get to sleep until 7 am due to me staying out all night and the alarm blaring to wake JBN from his drunken slumber. That stupid alarm went off at 8:30; he did not have to be at work until 11.

One thing that really irritates me about him is he would set the alarm clock for hours before he is ready to get up and just keep hitting snooze until he is ready to get up. No scratch that: I get up *because he sleeps like the dead* to hit snooze until I am finally driven crazy and yell at him to get the fuck up because he is disturbing my sleep. So I’m sitting up bleary eyed while he’s super cheerful because of course he’s slept through all of the 10 snoozes. Talking about he needs to “wake up gradually”. If I knocked the shit out of him, he would wake up gradually all right. Me, I usually set the alarm clock an hour before *or depending on the appointment 2 hours prior* and once the alarm clock goes off I’m up. A shower fully wakes me up.

I wasn’t having it this time, I cut the alarm off, shook him up and told him if he didn’t remain up I guess he wasn’t going to work because I was going back to sleep with the alarm off.

Of course, I couldn’t have an uneventful sleep; my father called to tell me he was in a car accident on Friday. His brand new Cadillac was totaled as were the woman’s car who hit him. He’s going to be out of work for a couple of weeks but he’s doing ok. The woman’s insurance is going to pay for everything but what will he do without his precious baby. I hope his time out from work does not mean daily phone calls from him.

Finally I head back to sleep. Had a few texts from people, including my girls who did not get into LOVE and parking lot pimped for the night. They were staying with some friends who lived in Leesburg. We made initial plans to get up with one another but that fell through by the middle of the day.
I dozed off for a little while and I woke up when TWIN woke me up and asked did I want to go to the mall because she didn’t like what she packed and she wanted to wear something else. Like I need an excuse to hit the mall. You know I was with it. *lol*

Now last night while at I-HOP SEXYBACK and BABYP had brought up the subject of the mall and we made plans to hit up the mall together. These crazy fools called at like noon asking were we ready to go. Um hello we’re not even half awoke yet, yeah aiight. I started calling them vampires, like when did they sleep. BABYP rationed that he “was here to kick it, he could sleep later.”

I mentioned Tyson’s Corner because it’s a bigger mall, more stores meaning more variety so chances are you’d find something “different” meaning a slimmer chance of someone wearing your outfit at the club and besides Level 21 which I have dubbed as the store that I would hit if I really became Hot Chokolet *Thanks for the spelling Isis* the exotic dancer was at Tyson’s and I like that store. In addition, I knew many people would hit up Pentagon City by default *I live blocks from Pentagon City* and the weather was a little breezy to stroll through Georgetown.

We make plans to meet up at Tyson’s Corner and by the time we got to TC it was close to three. These fools ended up at Pentagon City because their “friend” got into a jam, they had to get him, and the same “friend” wanted to go to Pentagon City instead. Fine by us, we shopped til we dropped at Tyson’s. Of course, they begged for us to come to Pentagon City but we said we would be there when we be there. Shit yall were supposed to meet us one place and ended up at another so you are on our time and you know we took our sweet time getting there.

We peeped their cute asses in the food court but Forever 21 was calling my name so I bypassed them to burn some plastic in my store.

We kicked it for a bit with SEXYBACK being a little grumpy. I guess it is true. Short people really do suffer from the “Napoleon Complex”. You know I had a field day teasing him because he was being grumpy because he couldn’t find an outfit he wanted which of course he could have found at Tyson’s. I wanted his alias to be DIVA but I think that imply he was gay. You know I find humor in weird things.

We get back to the apartment and relax for a minute. Put our feet up and relax before it’s time to hit the streets. I chatted on IM for a second and ran a quick errand while TWIN was laid out with attack cat at her feet.
Got dressed. Now I had every intention to attend Missy’s function. I was printing out the directions on Yahoo Maps and everything. See what had happened was…*lol* Basically I got twisted elsewhere. My girls called and I only intended to stop by for a quick drink and on the road to Missy’s but ya girl got a lil loose with the alcohol. You know how it is when alcohol games and Jello shots are involved.
We played “I never…” where someone would name something and if you did it you had to take a shot. *LOL* It was from a Family Guy episode. Yeah ya girl got drunk.

I was slizzard as hell. Yeah my girls got me drunk. Ok well I got myself drunk. And like the drinker and drivers that we are *well TWIN isn’t a drinker she just had a daiquiri.

By this time it was about 1 am and we wanted to go to LOVE because we heard Ludacris was there. Yeah that so wasn’t happening *lol*. We rode by PLATINUM because the Alphas were sponsoring a party but the line was too long and besides they wanted $40 to get into PLATINUM. I don’t mind paying for the club but considering the line was almost to the next corner and it was 1 am we passed. We already had did AVENUE so that was out. So we heard at FUR Kappas were letting the first 500 women in free so you know where we headed.

It was sheer craziness. Not only were there hundreds of people, there was no real form of a line, the guys were on one side ladies on another and they were eyeing us like we were pieces of meat. I was cold as hell because I didn’t have a shirt on *a blazer with a great push up bra underneath, I ain’t lying this time that bra gave me some MAJOR breasts* so I was shivering. Not to mention drunk and stumbling. I wore flat shoes that night.

We clowned in line for another hour and a half in line when we realized the fucking line wasn’t moving. We hadn’t budged an inch so we ask what was the hold up. Apparently, the Kappas weren’t anticipating that large of a turn out and the club was full.

We were too hot. I mean damn we could have went somewhere else but then again it was our own fault for being cheap like we were the only ones who knew about the party. I was tempted to pull a “K-Sweet” card but I’d probably get called up and called “sus” because I’d forgotten all the little know hows since I haven’t claimed the crap since Sophomore year.

Funny enough JAMROCK was my K-Sweet Sister **Konkrete and Hurrikane** and she was even more pitiful than me. It didn’t help her drunken cousin kept loudly saying, “Yall K-Sweets…Yall better greet some Bros so we can get in!” which drew stares from the guys and girls especially the ones who were in actual sororities who sniffed their noses at us. Yeah but you’re freezing too so be easy…

Finally we said “fuck it” and got out of line.

By this time LOVE was letting out and FUR is right down the street from it so we decided to parking lot pimp of course. We stopped in McDonald’s initially to grab something to eat but the lobby was closed and drive through was too long. We’re sitting there debating on what to do when my phone rings. It’s BABYP. He wanted to know what I was on and where I was.
Earlier I tried to give these fools directions and they got hopelessly lost. I was frustrated and hung up. I mean damn you have the internet on your phone you better Map Quest it!

Turns out they were at FUR but they actually got in. Him and SEXYBACK met us in the parking lot.

And this is where SEXYBACK got his alias. On any one else the outfit would look gay as shit but he was rocking a nice velour smoking jacket, crisp jeans and some bad ass shoes. I don’t care too much for men’s dress shoes but those bitches were looking lovely. Had it topped with a tie and a crisp dress shirt. I started joking that he looks like he could belong in JT’s video because the outfit looked kinda like his CD cover and from there the jokes started. My girl said he looked like Puffy on the Press Play cover only with smaller teeth of course. So I unofficially dubbed him as SEXYBACK and guess who had the song as a ring tone? Me of course so you know I had to play it for him *lol*

BABYP was well like a “Baby Pharrell” looking so cute and lanky with his button up and jeans. *sigh* I love a man with a crispy dress shirt. He had a cute sweater over it.

*LOL* Ok I guess men don’t want their clothes to be seen as “cute” but it was. I liked the way their outfits were put together. What can I say? I love a well-dressed man.

I’m sure you Jules, clothing snob, would even agree that their outfits were tight, son. I could see you wearing something similar. Ok and maybe some Euro cut jeans that hug the balls leaving them bad boys ready for the female eye but whatever.

Turns out their “friend” who was caught up in a jam was this guy that TWIN had her eye on for months down in Norfolk *what is it with these Navy men*? So her interest in SEXYBACK went out the window. I guess he was a lil salty but hey the tribe has spoken. Besides he really was short as shit. He came to my nose in flats. I will admit dude was a cutie, nice and chocolate. We shoot the breeze with them and my girls decided to leave but we stayed behind. I’m in one car with SEXYBACK and BABYP teasing them while SEXYBACK furiously texted someone on his sidekick 3 while TWIN and dude talked in her car.

Next thing you know we’re headed back to the Hyatt to kick it while she chatters on and on about cutie. I wasn’t really for going back to a hotel with some niggas because I didn’t want to give anyone the impression that they’d be getting some ass, shit I got dicked down lovely earlier that evening but I wasn’t going to let my girl go alone anywhere with some dude that I personally don’t know.

Besides push come to shove I could run home.

By this time, it’s approaching 5 am. Yes yet another evening out in the streets. We sit and watch TV, joke around and talk. We were offered alcohol but yeah I’m not going to wake up booty and mouth sore. Yeah aiight.

TWIN and cutie dipped somewhere down the hall and I spent time talking to BABYP who is a cool dude. I fell asleep on him though. A bitch was tired as shit. He asked me something and it was over with from there. We were on the 18th floor chilling when I got to comfortable and dozed off. I woke up when he was half carrying/half dragging my ass down the hall. Now he know his skinny ass couldn’t pick my ass up I don’t know why he tried.

We get back to the room, TWIN and cutie are knocked the fuck out in one bed, their other friend who didn’t say much was knocked out in the chair and SEXYBACK was sleeping in the other bed. Shit I wasn’t sleeping on the hard ass ground so I crawled in bed with SEXYBACK, pulled the covers over my head and went to sleep.

SEXYBACK snores AND he kicks in his sleep. I was going to kick his short ass out the bed; he was lucky he was cute.

I heard my alarm go off on my phone because TWIN had to get on the road and I had to drag my ass to work at 2:30. Hugs and morning breathe all around, we left. She showered, questioned me, and with a tight hug and a promise that I’ll come down to Norfolk my next weekend off, she drove off.

I took another nap and had enough time to shower and get to work. A bitch was so fucking tired at work. I looked like who did it and why and for what reason. I am not kidding.

No more hard partying for me. I needs not to do that again.

BABYP has been texting me nonstop since Sunday. *sigh* Hate to break the cutie’s heart but yeah he saw the ring. He knows the deal. Sorry for ya.

Over all my weekend was excellent. I had a lot of fun and once again when I stop being so lazy I will upload the pictures.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

HU's Homecoming Saga Pt. 1...


My body is so weary from this weekend. I think I may have gotten 6 or 7 hours of sleep this entire weekend. If that.

Missy- I missed out on seeing you, I was sooo mad. My Saturday went by in a blur. I was so out of there Saturday it wasn’t even funny. Guess that means I have to make a trek to Boston to see you. Is the winter there as bad as I’ve been hearing? I heard Boston is BRUTAL in the winter. Even more brutal than a Chicago winter and the hawk stays out in the winter.

I got absolutely no sleep on Thursday. Maybe three or four hours tops. I just couldn’t sleep. When I did finally shut my eyes the alarm clock went off. I had an early morning hair appointment because my girls were due to fly in later than day and I wanted to be home in case they needed a ride from Reagan.

Very groggy I stumbled to my hair appointment where I was upset to discover that the damn shop was closed. It was supposed to open at 9, my appointment was 9:30 but the shop didn’t open until 9:20. My beautician was running late so her assitant started on my hair, dripping wrapping lotion all in my damn eye, leaving my face looking like Ashy larry so I didn't get under the dryer until almost 11 am. Under the dryer for like three hours and I did not end up leaving until close to 4:00. I was a little ticked; I had gotten spoiled by the hour and a half time it took to get my hair done but granted I did opt for curls this time.

I caught a few zzzz under the dryer but not enough to make an impact. I got home and found out their plane was delayed; they weren’t getting in until after 8 pm. Cool by me I was going to get caught up with some zzzz.

That so did not happen. TWIN called and told me she was off for the weekend and she was driving up to DC *she’s in Norfolk* for HU’s Homecoming. Cool fine by me. I knew she would get lost *thanks to Map Quest* so I stayed up to wait for her.

Once she got in town we made up a game plan on where to kick it. LOVE was out. I knew by the time she got in, we both showered and dressed; the line would be wrapped around the corner three or four times. Plus I really didn’t enjoy myself at LOVE last year. H20, AVENUE, FUR, and FELIX became other options. I’ve only been to AVENUE a few times so as a game plan we decided to hit that up.

We were looking hot and fierce *our new word of the day done with a snap in Z formation*. I had on an orange dress which made the boobies pop! I mean I was looking at least a 32C that night. Ok Ok 38B but a sista could dream…banging matching stilettos and the curls were shimmering.

You can’t see the bottom but it was an empire waist dress and the dress billowed to my knees. Loose but clingy in the right spots.

We were looking too fly if I don’t say so myself. Got to AVENUE where of course we had to ride around the block like 10 times to find a parking spot. Stood in line for close to 30 minutes of course freezing because you know we were too pretty to wear full jackets. Peeped JBN and some of his frat brothers in front of us, we waved and kept it moving. We don’t do the “club boyfriend/girlfriend thing”. We strictly do our own thang if we’re in the same club setting, I do me. He does him. We dance to one or two songs and keep it moving. I don’t need him breathing down my neck at the club and he don’t need me eye stabbing from the sidelines.

Some random dudes started flirting with us in line but um yeah it was cold and we weren’t trying to get club boyfriends before we even got in the club. Paid our $20 and slid in.

What can I say about Friday other than we juked *danced* our asses off? We had such a good time in the club. Since it was just us two because my other friends flaked; they insisted on going to LOVE because nothing was going to stop them from seeing celebs. You know I tried to tell them without advance tickets they were going to play $50-60 *maybe even more* to get in there and from what I understood Puffy *He’s always going to be Puffy in my book* wasn’t even there *shit he wasn’t there last year either* but stubbornly they went on to LOVE *which I heard was straight*. And got lost of course. So I had to text directions to them, they got hit with a LOT of traffic coming up New York Ave but eventually they got to LOVE.

Meanwhile at AVENUE my girl and I were on flirt patrol. And no I did not have one drop of alcohol in the system. I was stone sober. I was offered several drinks but if I got drunk we never would have made it home because she doesn’t know her way around DC. Fuck around and end up in Southeast butt ass naked with no car and purse.

We were in straight silly mode actually. We were using typical guy pick up line and cursing at them *jokingly* when they walked off “Aww fuck you nigga you weren’t cute N-E Wayz…” just being goof balls because that’s just what we do. We danced on every level of the club and were jus grabbing random *cute* dudes to dance all night. Of course a few bears had got up in my face, one dude’s breathe was so harsh I swear he straightened a few of my curls. What you need some gum/ Breathe like some thunder/whatcha lookin’ at/I don’t want yo phone number…

Then I was walled humped by a Dominican guy. I’m on the reggae floor trying to catch my breathe because my honorary Jamaican Dance Hall Queen side had came out next thing you know I’m getting humped by a guy in dreads. Don’t get me wrong he was cute as shit, the few words I understood in his thick, sexy accent that he was ½ whispering/1/2 hollering in my ear was nice, AND his dreads smelled lovely. You know some folks with dreads just refuse to wash their shit but his was freshly done AND smelled fruity. And he was chocolate?! Now you know any other day I would have been drooling over this fine morsel that was in my ear whispering whatever. But two problems.

One my feet were BURNING! I couldn’t even nudge him away from me because that would involve moving and I was trying to keep my balance and ignore the throbbing in my feet. So I just stood there basically while he humped me.

Two, I felt the package on my leg. OH HELL NO. That shit was freakishly large and the shit wasn’t even hard. I thought it was my imagination at first but the more he humped my leg the more obviously that that shit that was on my leg was homeboy’s dick. I ain’t a punk but there are certain limitations to the dick that I will accept. Anything that has the potential to strike my ovaries is OUT. Anything that has the potential to erase my vaginal walls is OUT. Anything that has the ability to have my coochie lips dragging the ground is OUT. Homeboy had a weapon in his pants and I surely did not have a death wish.

And besides he was an “islander”. Translation: crazy. I don’t need some elephantine dick nigga chasing after me because lawd know he could choke me with his dick alone. No fingerprints. Cold case files for the death of LaToya aka Tenacious. Just a faint scuff mark around my neck that forensic scientists could not tell what the hell choked me to death. But we’d all know, dude’s dick.

Summing up some energy I nudged him off of me, thanked him for the kind words but bluntly told him “No Way Jose. If that’s your dick in your pants baby I so pass because I would do nothing but be a tease. If that shit flopped out on me a bitch would jump out the window and no I don’t want to touch it! I’m running from it” and we slid our asses back upstairs. And my girl saw the print so I know I wasn’t imaging shit, call me crazy but hell to the no!

Dancing on the dance floor start dancing with this cute light skinned cat when out of no where comes JBN drunk as a fucking skunk. I smell the alcohol off of him like cologne. Tagging behind him were his guys whom I assuming followed because they thought a scene was about to occur.

On the contrary he drunkenly felt me up *while I was still dancing with dude*, slurred how pretty I was and how much he wanted to marry me and told me save a dance for him while he palmed my breast. Looked at dude and told dude this was “his shit” and don’t get fucked up. Was dragged off by his guys into the crowd.

Dude slide off my ass so quick, didn’t want any drama and skirted away from me. I was a lil salty because he was cute but dammit JBN! He knew what the hell he was doing! I wasn’t too mad because when he gets drunk he acts like that all the time. Of course you know I think it’s cute.

After the cute dude slid away I danced some more.

And that’s when we unintentionally got “weekend boyfriends”.

We’re dancing and my girl pinches the shit out of me and directed my attention to the fine morsels at the door. Right off back I could tell they were NOT from DC. I’ve been in DC long enough to pick up on the fashion trends of the folks who live in DC and the surrounding cities but they were dressed in a way that only someone from the Midwest dress. Just looking sexy as shit the both of them, you know it’s hard to find two cute dudes who hang with one another; usually one is cuter than the other.

But both were cute. The only real flaw that one guy was short as shit. I mean TWIN and I are about 5’2’’, 5’2’’ and a quarter *respectively* and we both had on stilettos but we towered over dude. I mean he was just that short. I don’t like short men especially those who are shorter than me. To be honest you have to be at least 5’8’’ to capture my interest. But his swagger was so hot that I overlooked his shortness. Well TWIN did. She saw him first so she got to pick which one to flirt with and I got the friend, who was tall and lanky. He looked like Pharrell if Pharrell had some height and some more weight on him. You know I love me some Pharrell, almost as much as Justin but no Justin look alikes were in the club.

So being the females that we are we boldly approached them flirting just laying the charm on thick with them. They were some cool ass dudes. Within minutes we were cracking jokes and roasting one another like we were long lost friends. Now I wasn’t going to give out my number because duh I’m in a committed relationship but TWIN slid SEXYBACK my number because her cell was in the car so I had to give BABYP my number. We chatted a bit more, made plans to get up and we went back off to do our thang. Caught up with them at the end of the night and did the “last call” dance with them. Turns out BABYP and SEXYBACK were from Cleveland but funny enough BABYP was stationed in Norfolk with the Navy. TWIN and BABYP did their Navy talk thing and they’re not on the same boat but their ships are near one another.

We stumbled out of the club at about 3 am. We’re hungry and we decided to hit up IHOP, of course, the unofficial “after the club” eatery for us. Of course the line was obnoxious and by the time we got a seat it was close to 4 am. We’re sitting and talking because our waiter was slow so we didn’t get our food until close to 445 am. We were falling asleep by the time our food came I mean we literally had a few bites of food and we were spent. Of course JBN called me drunkenly begging for a cheese omelet.

We’re getting our food together to leave when my phone rings. It’s SEXYBACK and they were on their way to I-HOP because funny enough they were staying at the Hyatt which is two blocks from my apartment. He was joking that we were trying to stuff our faces before they got there so we wouldn’t look “fat” in front of them. They got lost of course so by the time they pulled up we were about to pull out. We go back in the restaurant and clowned with them for close to another hour basically at the 80s fashion which has gotten out of hand. If I see another pair of leggings or another chick with a big ass belt wrapped under her titties I am going to slap someone. Granted some folks look cute with both but damn near every girl at the club had on a variation of those two. Some both. When were leggings that hot? And I damn sure don't remember wearing mine under a skirt; I wore tights *shrugs* but then again I was born in the early 80a and spent my childhood in the 90s. I wore them of course but shit my knobby kneed ass couldn’t fill out the leggings, I looked weird and besides I wore big ass shirt with the corner tied and I thought I was the shit. This shit has gotten ridiculous. But maybe I’m hating because you need breasts to loop a belt underneath your shirt and I need more leg definition to fill out leggings. But still 95% of the women that were in I-HOP basically were wearing the same outfit.

Of course we had to put our “Midwest Bougieness” in the mix and we all were cracking on the same thing even though they were from Ohio and later they admitted that they were not from Cleveland but rather a suburb right outside of Cleveland.

By the time we stumbled home it was 7 am and the sun was starting to come up. I had to almost drag JBN off the bed so he could sleep on the couch because me and TWIN were sleeping in the bed. That took about twenty minutes because when he’s drunk he’s in a coma and he was resisting moving. Got him situated on the couch, set the alarm so he could get up for work, and dove in the bed. We were sleep in minutes. BABYP texted me something sweet but I was too tired to reply.

Saturday was the day of pure craziness.

Truth or Dare...Part 4

Ok to finish my truth or dares, I took a truth from NIKKI and she asked me write a speech that you would say to the person who has hurt you most in the world. include EVERYTHING you would want to say to him/her.

As much as I would LOVE to write about my father, I don’t hate the man. I just dislike him. Once again there’s a borderline sociopath lurking deep in my subconscious. Sometimes I think I am really evil which scares me the severity of my dislike for him sometimes. I mean sometimes my dislike for him is so strong, if he dropped dead tomorrow I would do a little jig before overwhelming guilt took over for me thinking such evil thoughts.

He did get into a car accident Friday afternoon. He’s alive and well just will out of work for several weeks due to back problems. His car is totaled as the stupid woman who slammed into him but since it was her fault her insurance will be paying for his car and possibly his medical bills. I was relieved that he was ok but a small voice thought, “Damn he was almost snuffed out” and a wicked smile emerged on my face.

Damn that so fucked up to think like that. But I digress I don’t hate the man; I just don’t like him all the time.

I don’t hate many people in my short life. Extreme dislike, yes. But hate? Such a strong bitter word. If I can name one person that I hate, it would probably be KAPPA. I hate that man with an intensity that is also psychotic. Just looking at the man sends me in a rage.

This is what I would say to the bastard:

“You stupid son of a bitch if only you were in the car that day my problems would have been solved now wouldn’t it? It’s not even the fact that you got the pussy; it’s the way you got it. How desperate were you to hit that you had to get me pissy drunk in order to get it. But you know what? I blame myself. I blame myself for letting anger consume me about something else which distracted me enough to take alcohol from you and confine in you. You’ve fucking wrecked my life and you have been nothing but a boil on my ass ever since. Do you know the nightmares I’ve had thinking I could have been potentially knocked up with your child because your stupid, selfish ass didn’t think enough of me to wear a fucking condom?! I almost wished I did get pregnant so I could have gotten an abortion because the pleasure I would have gotten from tearing something with your flesh out of me would have put me in some sort of heaven. I hate your ways; I hate you. Why do you continue to torture me with your presence? Why do you continue to call me and bother me? Why Why Why? It’s bad enough JBN is your frat brother not to mention pledge father, I have to look at your face at every single fucking event that I can’t weasel my way out of because I have to be a “good supportive” girlfriend. It’s not even the fact that you almost wrecked my relationship with your lies of our non existence “affair”. How fucked up are you to pursue a frat brother, who’s supposed to be like a real brother, girlfriend without any regard to his feelings? Maybe it’s straight bitterness talking, mad because you got the panties which pisses me off more than anything because *shudder* your bare flesh has been inside me. But I don’t like you, have never liked you. Seek treatment as soon as possible. You are a schizophrenic among other things. You have mental problems that should be addressed. Please stop calling me, stop IMing me and just making your existence known. I’m pissed that you got our house number from another frat brother and you think you’re slick calling to talk to JBN when I know what you’re calling for. You must have lost the left and right side of your mind if you think you’re going to be in MY wedding. Yeah right. Dude I would run you over with a car and laugh. I can’t stand you. You disgust me. Hopefully you’ll fall in a gutter somewhere. Stay the fuck away from me.”

Ok Nikki it has been done. Nothing that I haven’t told him before but I hate this man with an intensity that scares me. If I could murder him and get away with it, he would have already been buried in a field on I-57 by now. I’m so serious. I detest this man.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

My First....

1. Who was your first prom date? Since I wasn’t popular enough to get invited to every body and they mama’s prom before my own, I only went to mine and I went with my gay best friend G and we clowned the entire night. I was kinda salty that he ended up pulling more numbers than I did when we hit the “after parties” *and from both teams at that*. I broke up with JDUBB months before and I was too lazy to look for a suitable date so we decided to just go together.

2. Who was your first roommate? My first roomie was my best friend ICEE. We were roomies the two years I lived in the dorms. Ah fun times those were…

3. What alcoholic beverage did you drink when you got drunk the first time? Some E&J *lol* Got pissy drunk the night before my ACT. Went to an study party which turned into a drinking party. Damn friends turned me into the *now reformed* alkie that I am today. Is E&J the signature “first” drink?

4. What was your first job? Ticket Master. I had so much fun working at that job considering I was always late and had the habit of calling off of work BUT coming up to the job to get my check *yeah how hood right?* Saturdays were the worst because this was during the peak of Britney, N’Sync, Backstreet and we received calls from all over about their concerts.

5. What was your first car? I’m still waiting on that one…*lol* Damn shame I’m 23 and have never owned a car. I’m getting my Acura by Christmas.

6. When did you go to your first funeral? The first funeral that I personally remember was when I was 6 or 7, one of my mother’s friends. My mother is a self-professed funeral whore, she goes to everyone’s funeral regardless of who the person is so I was dragged to a lot of her “associates” funerals. But the first funeral that I went to and realized the comedy of Black funerals was my grandfather’s and my two great-aunts got into an argument over who cooked the potato salad at the repast and of course the shit folks will say about a person after they’re dead. That day was a comedy and a half which of course you know I was banned from the funeral hom *had to wait in the limo* not to mention the two lectures I received for “laughing” when someone fell out at the funeral. Who knew comedic gold were at funerals? And my mother wonders why my sense of humor is fucked up.

7. How old were you when you first moved away from your hometown? *lol* When I went to college in Champaign, IL when I was 18. Now I’m in Arlington.

8. Who was your first grade teacher? Good old Mrs. Gay. Always made me sit in the corner for not using my “in door” voice and disrupting the class. Could I help if I was reading chapter books by the first grade thus bored by the “Trumpet” school book.

9. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane? Apparently I was on a plane at 3 for my first trip to Disneyland which I don’t remember. I went to Vegas at 17 with my mother, grandmother and their friends. Yeah I couldn’t get into any casinos but I did have fun. I remember there were a LOT of cute men in the hotel, if I wasn’t underage...

10. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with? It would have been with FH or TWIN but I never had to sneak out of the house. I had to sneak back in. I just couldn’t do the early curfew on the weekends not when Southside Prep had their infamous “house parties”…

11. Who was your first Best Friend and are you still friends with them? My first best friends was Karen. We were best friends from pre-k until 2nd grade she moved away to Kansas and lost touch.

12. Where did you live the first time you moved out of your parents house? In Trelease Hall at UIUC with ICEE, techincally I was out the house b/c my room was quickly converted to a “guest room” but officially it’s now here in Arlington with the fiance.

13. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day? It was FH, now it’s the fiance. When it’s really bad I call on Mama Dukes.

14. Who's wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsmen? My father’s when I was 10 and I hated every minute of it.

15. What is the first thing you do in the morning? Curse at the alarm clock. Wipe the cold out my eye.

16. What was the first concert you ever went to? Immature *lol* In the 7th grade you couldn’t tell me nothing about Immature, they were my obsession. I lost my voice screaming so loud at Batman, Romeo and LDB. I had the posters and everything, back when Right On! was the shit…is that magazine even around any more?

17. First tattoo or piercing? My first *and only so far* tattoo was at 17…my name on my left shoulder blade. Of course like many Black mothers I’ve had my ears pierced since I was a few weeks old. At 18 I got my tongue pierced. 19 my nipples and at 20 my navel. Only the ears and navel is left.

18. First celebrity crush? Morris Chestnut, I cried when he got shot in Boys in the Hood. I loved BJ Armstrong, Penny Hardaway, and of course Michael Jordan. It’s funny how much of a sports fanatic I was when I was younger and I couldn’t even tell you the Bulls lineup right now…hell any line-up. Shit I barely know the teams in cities let alone their names.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Truth or Dare...Pt 3

Mr. VIPERTEQ placed his dare up so I chose truth. He asked when to tell everyone the moment that I realized JBN was "The One".

ANSWER: JBN and I started off as fuck friends who developed feelings for each other. I mean we were cool as hell outside the bedroom but originally we started off as just messing around. He was so cool to be around a lot of people at school didn't even know we went together until like the 3rd year because we didn't act all "lovey dovey" and one of those couples that were attached at the hips. I had a 6 month rule on claiming a guy as a "boyfriend" because hell in college a lot can happen in 6 months. I started really digging him in the 3rd month and I knew he was "The One" when I did not get pissed when he got us stranded for a day and a half in Champaign. In fact, we laughed about it and to this day we still bring it up. And that was an adventure and a half. I'll blog about it one day.

I also realized that he was "The One" when I cried like a baby when we broke up after I cheated on him. I mean your girl was a mess! I blogged about that a minute ago it's lurking some where in the archives. I hope that answered your question.

MISSY chose TRUTH. Um name your WORST sexual experience. I'll take a DARE.

BTW I did get your email. Thanks for clearing that up, I was like who in the world is this? I'll definitely try to make it.

Ok ORGANIZED I could have had my picture yesterday but someone did not want to cooperate so give me another day or so on your dare. And thanks for posting up your truth...very...interesting *for lack of better words* Sista had to go take a sip of water after that one *lol*

I could have had a picture of you Mr. Mack. You're so right. *sigh* See another reaon to beat her ass...made me miss out on seeing the Chocolate Wonder that is Mr. Mack.

I chose a TRUTH from Honey, she asked "Knowing what you know now about all the guys you've dealt with and or slept with who would you choose to be with if fiancee wasn't around?"

ANSWER: Ooh wow. Damn that's kinda hard. Well for sure it would never be JDUBB, OMAR, or KAPPA that's for sure. They are water under the bridge and besides they're crazy as hell. If this question was asked a couple of months ago I would have probably said SIGMA because we were more than lovers we were friends. I mean I could talk to this man for hours about anything, and I can trust him. Knowing that we've messed around and I could still walk around in my undies AND he's never tried anything, is amazing. No dick pokes in the middle of the night, nothing. And we're so much alike it's scary. Well that could be a good/bad thing. I had to rack my little brain because I've dealt with plenty of dudes but actually got the goodies *and not so goodies* from a few, some worth my time some wasn't even worth the coochie juice. There was this one guy I liked but at the time he had a girlfriend so I never found out his potential really because we were both friends. But honestly if I had my pick it would none of them, I would go for someone else. I don't like to live in the past and if we're not together for whatever reason it's probably for something specific and why go through that again? With the exception of SIGMA *lawd knows I just couldn't walk away from that dick or tongue* I've never slept with an ex-anything because I write you out my book as soon as I'm done with you, so yeah Honey I would have to say I would mess with none of the men in my past. I'm all for the new, fresh dingaling. I say bring on the new dick!

I took a TRUTH from XAVIER and he asked me, "What is the WORST thing JBN will have to deal with AFTER he's made an "honest" woman of me?"

Ok he didn't say all of that; You know I had to twist the words around *lol*

ANSWER: Hmmmm after we're married the worst thing he would probably have to deal with is besides the same thing(s) he's had to deal with over the past 4 1/2 years, he'll probably have a difficult time keeping me out of the clubs and hanging with the "single" friends. I love to go out and have a great time and now that he's more of a homebody we sometimes have arguments because I'm always going out while he's in the apartment studying or watching TV. Sometimes I feel that he thinks I should stay in the house all the time up under him like a "good" girlfriend rather than exert my independence as I have done since forever. He knows when I go out men flirt with me, sometimes I flirt back depending on my alcohol level and/or attractiveness, and I know his face gets a little tight about that. You know, features not becoming in a "wife" and all, can't have your wife at the club with her girls, wedding band flashing on the finger, because it gives men the notion that I am "unhappy" and "available". I'm supposed to sit at home, cooking and cleaning, until the sexy mailman comes along. He feel that dudes don't give a damn about an engagement ring let alone a wedding ring *which is true* and will try anything to get into my drawers so that probably will remain an issue until he's knocked me up and I have no choice but to stay at home because I will NOT be the "pregnant girl at the club".

Friday, October 06, 2006

Truth or Dare...Again

I asked ORGANIZED NOISE to name his best sexual experience.

In return I chose Dare so he dared me to post a RECENT picture of me and another blogger. *sigh* Easier said than done O but trust it will be done!

I took a Truth from Nikki. Lawd knows what she'll ask *lol*

I dared ISIS to post a picture of Dude. And I took a DARE in return.

Check back later for the results...

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Truth Or Dare....

TRISH dared me to post a picture of the first person to walk up to the Front Desk. This was a little hard because folks I work with are the ones whom are at the desk mainly goofing off. FINALLY some guy walked up and wanted to talk to another manager and he talked too damn much so I managed to get a few. He caught me and asked what I was doing and I told him and he actually laughed and wanted to pose for a picture but I told him no.

Here's the pics:

ROYCE dared me to post a picture of the engagement ring. Here ya go. Luckily I used this picture for a few weeks on my Face Book account:

In turn she chose TRUTH. Name your most embarrassing moment please.

MR. MACK asked me when am I coming back to Chicago and will I make time for him?

ANSWER: I have no idea but it'll probably be around Thanksgiving. And this time I promise to make time for you. No fist fights I promise.

In return he asked TRUTH. How many women have you slept with Mr. Mack?

I'll take a DARE from you Mr. Mack. PG-13 please.

HONEY asked TRUTH. If Young One asked you to move to be with him, would you go?

In return I'll take a TRUTH.

***Wow this is so much fun. Who knew? Oh yeah I make the pictures look good, he's just aiight LOL***

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Good Old Fashioned Truth or Dare...


I want to include the rest of you in this game. Hit me up in the comments and say Truth or Dare. I will respond with a question or a dare and you can post yours either on your blog, or in my comments for my blogless readers. If you accept a truth or dare, then I will accept one from you, so keep checking back to see how I respond.

Now, for some of you freaks out there, I gotta have some ground rules, so here are some suggested guidelines.
Let's not ask to see pics of each other (completely) naked. The idea is to get to know each other better, not embarrass each other.~
Ask interesting questions~
If you do a dare, it has to be something that can be easily shown by posting a pic online~Let's not get crazy with the dares :D

Wow I haven't played truth or dare since...2004 *LOL* Yeah amazing what those alcohol games get you into. I think I woke up on the floor in the bathroom hugging the bottom of the toilet wrapped up in the floor mat *shrug* Gin will make you Sin yall.

I'll keep updating as more Truth or Dares come in.

On T's page, I chose Dare so he dared me to post a picture of me and the fiance.

T. CAS chose DARE *Yeah IM counts bruh* so I dare you to post a pic of Al Queda. Happy hunting.

I chose DARE from Trish so I have to post a picture of the first person who walks up to the Front Desk at work. *waves fist at Trish* TRISH chose DARE so she has to get a picture of a Georgian Hot Ass Mess.

VIPERTQ chose DARE, he has to post an embarrassing picture of himself. I choose DARE.

XAVIER *Hmm been lurking around huh? You shouldn't leave comments like that in my comment box, you know I have a dirty mind LMAO* chose TRUTH, which is pretty hard considering, well I don't know you *lol* so I directed my attention toward his very very interesting 101 Things About Me post, ok I definately will be coming back, very interesting everyone should go read it* For your TRUTH, please go into more details about #11. And I picked TRUTH. I'm biting my nails right now.