I Need A Life...

My weekend fucking sucked.

Sucked ass actually.

You would think with JBN hundreds of miles away, I would take advantage right? Stay out all night and stumble in the next day still drunk off the liquor I drunk.

How about I had a hot date with the damn cat and TV all weekend?

I was off Friday anyway so you know my ass bummed around the apartment doing absolutely nothing.

Then…tell me why some fucking idiot HIT my fucking car?

That same bumper that was just fixed? Oh that bitch is chilling in the backseat right now. Luckily it just the bumper and not the lights like it was last time but still…I was *and still am* SOOOO pissed.

What part of my turn signal flashing, me slowing down and going into the turn did he not realize and see?

You know I showed my ass in the parking lot right. Now that I think about it, I should’ve fallen out for dead while I was at it.

I mean I’m ok, it really was just a slight tap but still….that shit was JUST fixed! And although of course the guy is paying for all the charges *like he had a choice* that means the car is yet again out of commission for the week.

I was so mad about the car it fucked up my entire weekend. I called JBN *By the time I called him, he was already though security check about to board his flight* and although I know he’s pissed, he was calm about it. Way more calm than I was but then again he hasn’t seen the car yet. His flight lands at 11 tonight.

So great I might have to leave work early tomorrow to get an estimate so this can get fixed as quickly as possible.

Stupid Virginia drivers.

And since I was already in a bad mood I had to get bitchy with a few people who wanted to call on some “up-beat” shit. Get that shit outta here, my cornflakes have been pissed in and I’m mad!

I’m seriously thinking of changing my number. This “Check Up” shit has got to stop! While on one hand I’m dusting my Pimp Hat off because it means I still have it, you know a smile like mine is kinda hard to forget *lol*, I’m going to need these guys to find some business for the ’07.

It’s cute that they call but…do they really think they have a chance? Do they really think I’m interested in them in that way?

Trust if JBN and I were to break up tonight *which might happens after he sees his “baby”* I plan on remaining single for a nice minute. The last thing I would want is a new boyfriend.

I wasn’t in the mood though so my friends “Dial” and “Tone” stepped in to do a lot of the talking.

Although…One of the guys in question does have a sexy ass voice.

He has what I call “The Panty Creamer” voice. Dude could just say “Hello” and you’ll need to waddle to the bathroom and change your drawls.

Had to end that call when I started crossing my legs unconsciously. *lol*

I seriously think something is wrong with me. I think I am at my sexual peak or something because I can not stop thinking about sex! I think about it all day, every day. Someone asked me did I want a section of his orange and all I heard was “sex” *lol*

It’s really starting to get bad. I’m like a hype on that shit. And you know Tenacious does not beg for the dick but I’ve been finding myself begging for the shit for the past few weeks. Like I’m falling all over the room trying to take off my panties. Nothing but a word and I’m naked.

I shudder to think….Have I finally met some “Crack Dick”?!

After joking about it for years…Has it just hit me that I have Crack Dick in my life?!

Oh lawd…I’m going to be a stalker *sob*

Someone get me to rehab please. One with cable please.

See sitting in the house by myself all weekend has caused me to think too much.

Combine this with my crazy friends, Wikipedia, and too many gossip blogs.

Yes I spent an hour and a half Wiki-ing everything I could think of.

*hangs head*

DH *haven’t heard her name in a while have you* just had another baby. Her third. Yeah the same heifer who called me sobbing because she don’t want anymore children with her husband but I told her those West Indian men will try to keep you barefoot and pregnant if you let them you know when they’re not being crazy that is.

Come to think of it…she might’ve told him what I said and he put some roots on me *lol*

I told her don’t make this baby into a “Maury” episode. I’m still convinced she was fucking another dude on the low. I was like don’t get fucked up because yall both light skinned and a dark skinned baby pops out ya ass.

She said I was callous with no sense and hung up *lol*

Just to call back to get my address so she could send me baby pictures.

Damn I suck. I should’ve gone to Chicago this weekend. *lol*

Hopefully this week will go well.