Diamonds In My Damn Chain...

How come in maxi pad commercials, the girl always feels the need to feel the pad to show you how dry it is? Granted it’s blue water in the commercial but still…I am NOT trying to touch a bloody pad and gasp in amazement on how dry it is.

Are music videos losing all forms of imagination? Same girls, same concept, same ol’ rappers and what not. I think the only thing that changes are the clothes. And that’s saying a lot as most of the rappers probably don’t bathe.

Please stop talking to me on the phone while on MySpace and get super excited when someone famous is supposedly on line. Come on now, we all know Trina can barely read, let alone set up a MySpace account. Don’t be funny now.

It’s funny, I noticed in all the burglar alarm commercials how come the perp is always White? And dumb? Damn at least a black burglar would wait until the family is asleep before they break in.

Although I crack up at the one when the guy kicks in the kitchen door while the mother and her children are in the kitchen and runs away. You know I would’ve chased his ass down and beat the shit out of him for kicking in my damn door like that.

The charger dock in my phone shorted out on me and I had to get a new phone. The same phone but without scratches all on the surface *lol* I was mad that all my pictures erased although I went ahead and bought the memory chip but since I didn’t format it, all my pictures erased that was on the chip. I was too heated.

JBN almost slayed me in the store when he told me the tech guy looked like G. Garvin, the black cook on TV One.

I took the charger with me to the store because I was convinced it was just the charger, got my new phone, got all the way home and realized the charger was still at the store. Had to go back to the store and get the damn charger. I was too mad. Damn tech guy talking about “he forgot”.

Yeah got that name, I am so writing a letter to Corporate *lol* Shit burned up my gas. That has to last all week.

I went to the movies to see Grindhouse and I was pleasantly surprised. I enjoyed the movie. It was more funny than scary and although the second movie dragged on for like, forever, I was rolling by the end. I won’t spoil it for anyone but the shit was down right hilarious.

Although Rosario’s hair line was looking a little suspect in the movie. Looking like she had a shape-up and shit.

Why is it every time I pick up my purse at work someone asks me am I going home? Why? So you can steal my stapler off my desk? Damn mind your business.
Let’s not get on when I’m on the phone obviously having a “personal” call, I mean damn all up in my mouth. So I just take to scooting over in my chair and closing the door with my toes. I mean damn I do not need you poking your head in my door asking “What’s so funny”?

I’ll be in Reno with my mom this year for my birthday. Damn won’t be drunk as I do every year on my birthday. Oh who the hell am I lying to? I already have the name tag made out, just prop me up in the lobby. Eventually I’ll make it to my room.

And please family stop reminding me of my age and how such and such remember when I was “this” tall. Shit I’m still the same height. I’ve been the same height since, what, 14? Growth spurt my ass. I’m still getting carded at the movie theater.

You know I wouldn’t laugh when people fell if they didn’t fall so damn funny. And it’s even funnier when children fall. I know, I have my bus ticket and everything for that bus ride to Hell.

I’ve just noticed it has been about 4 years since I’ve gone to church on Easter. I remember when Easter preparation was made months in advance. Mother was shopping for Easter outfits in January. You’d think we were in a wedding or something the way Easter was planned. My mother made a big mistake when church no longer because mandatory because that’s when I stopped going. Damn shame.

Nothing against church but I just didn’t like it *lol* Now church can have it’s comedic moments, at least for me, but I figured what’s the point in me going when I know I’ll be sleep as soon as the pastor hits the podium.

DC teased me. Monday and Tuesday were wonderful. In the high 70s, warm and breezy. Got my sunbathing on and stuff only to snatch it away a few days later. I was too mad.

Why did I almost have a stoke in the parking garage when a pigeon flew too close to me? And why the hell are pigeons lurking in the parking garage. I hate those damn flying rats. Especially when it’s a flock of them and some idiot kid decide they want to scare them and they start flying everywhere. Guaranteed you will see me running and screaming down the street.

I hate flying creatures.

I hate unrecognizable numbers. I don’t care how many times you call I am not picking up.

And isn’t there a time limit to when someone should call you? Once again if you have to remind me who you are, what you look like or how we met…um yeah I’m going to need you to end the call before I end it for you.

And I know it’s getting warm because those “Are you still engaged/with your boyfriend” calls have increased. Stop burning up my day time minutes, you never had a chance.

And as much as I heart food, I don’t eat everyone’s cooking. Please stop trying to push those half cooked brownies on me.

I heart Lloyd’s new cd. He still looks like he eats paint chips though.

Are odes to strippers and “making it rain” on them the new thing? Since when did strippers get so hot they get dedications? Are they working it like that in the strip clubs? Shit made me wish I didn’t fall off the pole during my audition. Shit I want a dedication!

I was watching a couple of T.I’s videos on TV and I’m wondering: Have he always had that little twitch? Sometimes he looks mad crazy in his videos. He’s still a cutie though.

Ne-Yo looks like a catfish to me but damn if his cd isn’t nice. I’m still picturing him lip synching “Irreplaceable” though.

And Rich Boy? *shudder* I want to call him Frankenstein but shit even that’s not doing justice to him. He looks malnourished…and deformed.

Spring Bling…why? Just…why?

And please upgrade on the swim suit tip. If you KNOW your old one is worn out, grungy, or too small, just please go out and buy a new one. If you can slap down $200 for a fresh weave, you can slap down $30 for a swimsuit at Target.

And why are Black folks fronting playing in the ocean…like we can swim?

Shit with a fresh relaxer and wrap…do you really think I am getting near any form of water? Quit playing.

And VIBE should be slapped for that R. Kelly cover. So wrong on so many levels. We all know he did it. Trying to front like he’s innocent.

I’m getting the hands powdered up. I’m going to have to lay the smack down on a few individuals.