Monday, September 10, 2007

Wedding Headaches

Since I am knee deep in work and wedding planning, I haven't been online much other than to look at reception places, wedding party favors, bridesmaids dresses, etc.

So please forgive me if I haven't been checking on my spots. I get so caught up in the wedding stuff, I don't go to any other sites.

Good News: I do have my wedding dress.

I went with my first choice after trying on 6 different gowns. I really liked my 2nd choice but that would mean starving to death the day of the wedding because the corset part is really tight.

In fact the whole dress was super tight *Just the way I like it ;-)* but I got a little light headed wearing that dress. And I know it would've taken me at least 20 minutes to get out the dress. And it was almost impossible to use the potty in the dress.

But after trying on my 1st choice, I fell in love with the dress and bought it right there.

Since my best friend, the matron of honor, is being really stingy with the pictures, I'll have to steal her camera and post up the dresses at a later date.

In fact I'm still looking for a new matron of honor after the heifer flung open the door while I was undressing and every one and their mama saw my bare ass in the dressing room.

AND I had on the busted joints at that.

So I do have my dress so push come to shove, I will at least have my dress when JBN and I have to run off and elope in Vegas.

My mother and I are on the outs. She's trying to plan this big, extravagent wedding and she does not understand that I don't want all of that.

She's trying to invite anyone who has every stared at me in the last 24 years to my wedding.

I'm not on that with her.

I understand she's excited but...umm yeah this is MY day!

It's so much we debate about I'm getting a headache just re-thinking about it.

My father and I are on the outs. As usual.

The way I feel about him right now- I don't want his contribution or him in my life.

I told him he'll be lucky if I let him attend, let alone walk me down the aisle.

My younger cousin stole $20 from me while I was in Chicago. Me and that little bitch is not talking. In fact, since she was M.I.A. the rest of the time I was in Chicago, oh don't think I was looking for her, when I go back next month to close on the reception hall, I'm putting my foot up her ass.

My other cousin, the one I got into a fight with on Thanksgiving, had the nerve to twist her lips up and ask can she be in my wedding.

Bitch please.

And not that I care but we *meaning JBN* asked his sister did she want to be a bridesmaid, this heifer: "I'll have to check my schedule". No love is lost between us as you can see. Makes me none. "I" was only asking to be polite since my brother and my male best friend are groomsmen.

Yeah I had to swipe some of his groomsmen. My best friend is a given. My brother...eh he's up in the air. It has already been told that I am not paying a dime for his tux so if he want to be in the wedding I advise he save up.

So I'm really trying not to stress about this wedding and I'm really trying not to snap on people.

I mean it would shave a few numbers off of the reception list but still...I'm so not trying to become a Bridzilla.

I am failing...quite miserably actually...but dang I haven't reached the exploding point yet.

My aunt, my savior right now as she's holding down everything for me in Chicago, we're doing research together, emailing each other back and forth, and because she's like an Arts and Crafts God, she's decorating for the ceremony and reception AND she put me on to this great caterer.

I'm trying to be nice and let my friends pick their own dresses because they are paying for it but I see already I'm going to have to pick out the dresses myself.

Folks' body types are sooo not matching up with the dresses they want. I mean 95% of my friends are top heavier, or at least in "C" cups and strapless is so not the way to go.

Walking tugging up the top.

Breasts spilling all over the top of the dress. Alright for the club but not for my pictures.

So since most of my friends are skanks, I see I'm going to have to find some nice "classy" dresses for them.

Now I am debating with the reception hall because I do not like their menu and I want to bring an outside caterer in. I mean I really want this place but I do not want the food. It's really bland and doesn't look good IMO.

I mean I want soul food. The fattening, the better. I don't want dry ass baked chicken or fish. I want some golden fried chicken/catfish candied yams, macaroni and cheese, collard greens *for the folks who eat that mess*, cabbage *for me*, corbread, etc.

And I prepared to go to war over this.

But elopement is looking like a great possibility as of right now.

14 comments:

NegroPino™ said...

Hey sweet thang..Long time....I feel your pain. Not a bride though. My "aunt" is geting married next month and altough im a bridesmaid, i have yet to witness any madness well besides the fact she aint paid for the hall yet and the wedding is a month away but this wedding they only had like 8 months to prepare....
I was agonizing too cuz i felt if she asked us to be in the wedding, why do we hafta pay for our own dresses? Is there some kinda bridal/bridesmaid manual or something.....good thing for us..we only had to pay $150 and thats it. we can wear whatever shoes we want..but i know we gotta get our hair done so i wonder how much that gonna cost....Please dont turn into a Bridezilla( I love that show by the way) ......them B.itches are HORRIFIC and i always wonder who wants to marry they asses..and most of them are FAT!!!!!WHy cant a skinny chick like me get proposed to........

Tenacious said...

@ Missy

Hey girl..long time indeed...Since I can't get onto your blog since I'm not invited **hint hint** You know my nosy ass hates to be left out.

I def. feel you. Trust if I could afford to pay for my friends' dresses I would but my finances are sooo not where it's at. I've been directing them to Davids Bridal b/c they have really pretty dresses for less than $150 and they offered to pay for their dress, but I still feel bad.

I don't want to turn into a Bridzilla b/c I hate those types but I see myself already nit picking over the simple things. Thank God for my aunt & her "Would you shut up...I got this".

As long as it doen't rain or no one gets drunk and throw up all over the place...I'm cool

proacTiff said...

Dang, Ten', I say go for the tight-fitting corset number. But, alas, you ain't ask for my two cents. I remember helping my BFF go pee during her wedding, since I was the slave...Er, I mean Matron-of-Honor. Her dress was a doosie and she was tripping about getting "floor pee" on the bottom of it.

All I can do at this point, you know, now that you have shared your posting absence, is pray for you. I gave up the headache of planning a big shin-dig mostly in part to the limited funds for my champagne and caviar ideas. We took that shyt "to the house." Grandma's to be exact. She did the food (she's an excellent cook; all the soul dishes you speak of). Uncle is an ordained minister who performed the ceremony. No one stood up next to us, so no one had to foot gown/tux bills. All our asses did was show up. We were living together at the time and had or daughter who had just turned one. Yeah, we had a straight "shotgun" ceremony. And I wouldn't change it for all the 7-karat diamond ring and a live airing of it on the Christian Broadcast Network. Nope. We see how all that fanfair fairs out.

Hugs and I sure do miss your tales. I can even tell through this post that the stress of it all is getting to your sense of humor. I was patiently waiting on the funny to ooze through your post, but all I got was "skanky friends."

Still Patrice said...

Whew! Girl... don't go to jail for beating the shit out of somebody! I will say... I was planning this big ole to do... ended up getting married on a random wednesday w/ 6 people including me and Ian! Lol talk people being pissed! My grandmother and fav aunt didn't speak to me for a GOOD month!
And it was all good with me! Heffas wasn't bout to stress me the hell out! LOL

Rashan Jamal said...

I sure am glad that I am never getting married. This sounds like too much stress. Is it just you or is JBN going through it too?

Liv For Me said...

Daaaamn....
Take a deep breath..
*Big hugs* Sounds like u got a good rock solid Auntie that is holding u down..thank god!
GOod luck with it all Suga.
XOXO,
~M

Ms. Lee said...

The older I get the more I think I'm gonna go to an island on the humble, get married, take pics, come back, show the pics and keep it moving.

I've been in four weddings, including my sister's that I planned for her. (I did like your Auntie because she wasn't living in NY) But she couldn't have done it, she would have made everybody kill her and stuff her body in the limo trunk.

I'm so not interested in doing that again. So I feel you!

Keep strong girl. And if you decide to elope, know that we will be expecting the rundown!

Thank God for your Auntie in the Chi.

Angel said...

YAY for the wedding dress! BOO for the possibility of elopement. what are the colors again?

Miz JJ said...

LMAO @ your friends being skanks. Congrats on finding a dress. Now it is time for some pics!

SLUMP FACADE said...

Have your wedding dress designed with a similiar fit to that of the one Ciara wears in her video with 50. Make sure the three inch heels match!!!!!

Ms.Honey said...

Been gone for a minute..glad your still alive and kicking...WOW you have been extra busy with the wedding and all....and you know that before you leave to get married we or rather I am going to have to hang out with you so we can scream on dudes since you wont be able to do it anymore LOL

Tasha said...

Girl, I'm feeling your pain too. I'm just getting started with the wedding planning and I've already had to black out on a few folk already. I don't understand why mamas feel the need to plan every damn thing either.

Anyway, glad you have your dress. I can't wait to see the pics, I know it will be scandalous yet classy...beautiful nonetheless.

nikki said...

man, wedding planning SUX.

at least you've got the dress.

maybe you can do the two piece bridesmaids dresses. this way you can pick the bottom and let them pick the top that works best for them. i DAMN sure wish my best friend had done that. instead i ended up in this satin monstrocity that had me lookin like a satin volcano about to explode.

all your girls wearing the same shoes too?

Xave said...

What the f...!!!! Have I been gone THAT long? Congrats. :-D