Gross Stuff...

Disclaimer: All of this just randomly popped into my head.

1. I admit all the time that I am a lame…because well for the most part it’s the truth. One of my embarrassing little secrets is that I, for the most part, still wear shorts underneath my clothes when I’m on my period.

Why am I admitting this? I have no idea but I think it comes from a random phone conversation with TWIN and out the blue she asked did I still wear my lime green *shut up* biker shorts. Kinda shocked me because I thought that was one of my little secrets. Turns out everyone knew about my infamous biker shorts *lol* although they did disappear for a short while in college when I was on the shot.

Bleeding through my clothes have been a fear of mine since 13. I was the girl who always wore shorts underneath all of my dresses regardless of the length. A bad habit I didn’t really break until college.

*hangs head*

I was sooo mad at my mother when she tossed them out a couple of summers ago. I mean sure they were all bleached up, had holes all over the place, not to mention it got to the point where they were super tight *so sue me I had them since 13* but still…my little security blanket was gone.

I’ve moved away from the shorts and now rock dark bottoms but still…*sniff sniff* they’re gone.

2. In fact, unless it’s a tight fitting dress where I have no choice but to rock a thong, I wear boy shorts or something similar when I do wear a dress. 9/10 times the panties matches the color of the dress or skirt.

I hate wearing thongs. But I continuously buy them *lol* Wearing a thong makes me feel like I have a major wedgie not to mention the booty chafing I feel in jeans *lol* kinda ruins the experience for me. If it’s not on some sexy stuff because I know they’re on for less than 5 minutes, I avoid them.

3. I rather be caught bottomless than topless. Weird right?

4. I have strange nipples. I’m going to go ahead and blame the nipples rings but I think they fucked up my nipples.

Like now I have reached the stage where I feel so self conscious without a bra. Before a strapless bra was my worst enemy because one thing I love about having a small chest is the ability to go bra less. Any excuse not to wear a bra I took. In the summer I might have worn a bra three or four times the entire summer.

Now I can’t live without a strapless bra…partly because of my wayward nipples.
My nipples have the strange habit of getting hard…regardless of whether it’s hot or cold.

I mean it could be 95 degrees, sweat dripping down my back…and the head lights are on high beam.

And my high beams be waving like a mug. I’ve caught guys staring at my chest because the girls were waving.

And I already have an understanding of what they’re thinking…SEX SEX SEX

Like I’m some horny broad.

Ok well most of the time I am a horny broad but that’s not the point *lol*

I’m not trying to give anyone any ideas…or an excuse to stop me to holla.

So although my perky little boobs are begging for release…I’m always in a bra.

5. With that being said, outside of laundry day…I always wear panties. I can’t recall a day when I waltzed out with panties.

Must have to do with my mom’s belief that “only white girls do that nasty shit”.

Moms beat in my head to cover the cooch up. I mean heaven forbid if I get hit by a car and when they’re cutting my clothes away *gasp* I have no drawls on. I mean outside of not rocking clean undies…a cardinal sin in my family.

And unsightly camel toe *shudder* scares me. Like ew.

And no crotch shots from a camera phone over here.