Man That's That Bull......

I wish I could say I had stories about my trip to Atlanta.

However I spent less than 24 hours in Atlanta.

Not to mention my bank account is now about $600 leaner.

NONE of them broads came to Atlanta- All but one on some bullshit excuse.

So you know I was hotter than fish grease.

And people wonder why I am extra selective on whom I go out of town with.

Spoke to my best friend (the birthday girl- the whole reason we were going to Atlanta) on Wednesday and Thursday morning- all was a go. Spoke to my other girl on Wednesday- shit was a go.

Called before I left the airport- shit was still a go. My girl was at work and they were getting on the road that night

(Never mind that when I purchased my plane ticket and reserved the hotel room everything said arrival THURSDAY and then I was hit with the “Well we’re going to make it a road trip and drive” with arrival time Friday but whatever)

Cheap bitches. I should’ve known some bullshit was going to go down- who knowingly likes to be on the road 8-10 hours?

After the flight from hell (Air Tran will never get another dime of my $$)

I mean I got to the airport NO ONE is at any of the counters. I was already annoyed because I tried to check in the day before and that morning and I kept getting error messages- but damn, no one is at counter?

Then the $15 bag fee *sigh* that’s that bullshit for real

Then there was Bitchy McBitchy and her mom (I guess it was her moms) who COMPLAINED from start to finish. Heifer had the nerve to cop an attitude because she had to check her FULL SIZE luggage “carry on”….I mean seriously- she knew DAMN WELL that big ass suitcase was not fitting under the seat OR the overhead compartment

Bitch stop playing

So to tune out the nagging, I put my headphones and snuggled under my Hello Kitty blanket *shut up*

I wake up- why is this broad under MY fucking blanket?!

I mean mad comfortable and shit then smiling at me and shit- Naw hoe I don’t play with my Hello Kitty shit. Shit pay about $100 for that lice infested brillo pad they call a blanket.

Then because we got to Atlanta extra early- we had to circle the airport. I swear we flew to Florida and back.

Turn on my phone- I got like a 90 page text message story.

What had happened was…

Story of my motherfucking life.

So originally it was six of us- me, Birthday Girl, Best Friend #2, Best Friend #2’s sister, Birthday Girl’s cousin, and Birthday Girl’s friend.

Oh…Birthday Girl’s friend decides she want to get another tattoo- yeah, another motherfucking tattoo- before she leaves for Atlanta on her other leg. Ohhhhh the tattoo artist goes too deep or some shit and fucks her entire leg up. She can’t walk- so she’s out.

We’re down to five people.

Then ohhhh Best Friend #2 and her sister just “remember” they have to attend a funeral Friday.

Now keep in mind I spoke to her on Wednesday. NO mention of any death. Birthday Girl spoke to her Monday, Tuesday AND Wednesday- no mention of a funeral. Birthday Girl calls her to let her know she’s picking them up soon- and NOW all of a sudden there’s a funeral to attend.

Now come on now- I don’t know ANY black funeral where someone is buried the same week he or she dies.

So I’m like, “Who is this person? What are they, Muslim?”

Like who just “remembers” they have to attend a funeral? Clearly you are not close to that individual if you weren’t aware he or she died in the first place but whatever.

So by then Birthday Girl is pissed (and I was extremely pissed as I’ve heard the story an hour later)
Best Friend #2 is like “well the funeral starts at 12, the repast is over by maybe 6, oh and I have to get my hair done, so maybe we can leave Friday night”

Hellllssss toooo the naw

What sense does that make?

So Birthday Girl is extremely pissed because it was Best Friend #2’s idea to drive in the 1st place! Birthday Girl wanted to catch a flight- like me, we are NOT road trippers- but she was convinced to take a chance and take this road trip.

So Birthday Girl is like well fuck yall we’re leaving tonight

So six people are now down to 3 people- me, Birthday Girl, and her cousin.

Meanwhile I am in Atlanta fuming.

Its one thing that I’m in Atlanta a full day before everyone else but I see right now I’m going to have to head back to DC.

Although my other best friend lives in Atlanta, our wires got crossed, and he thought we were coming next week (now this week) so he planned on going back to Chicago the same weekend I was in Atlanta

(Although like a real friend he offered to cancel his flight and remain in Atlanta)

So by this time I’m at Gladys Knight’s joint with my best friend and his friends- they’re listening to me Jap out on the phone- I’m like call me when you hear from your cousin.

Birthday Girl- like me- is not a night time driver. In addition, as pissed as I am, I did not want her on the road, alone, trying to drive to Atlanta.

So after eating, I went to my hotel (oh the Ritz by the way- an indulgence for the best friend- um yeah but don’t think I paid retail- DISCOUNT baby!)

Flawless property. I was fawned over so much it was embarrassing.

I’m in the room bitching to Hubby, bitching to my other best friends, and more importantly calling the suspect broads I call friends (no answers from them- FYI its Thursday- I haven’t heard from them since last week)

Birthday Girl called.

Ohhhhh well her cousin juuuussst remembered she had to pay her gas bill otherwise it was going to get cut off so she can’t go.

Right- the ol’ “my utility bill is overdue” excuse. Last time I checked you’d have to be behind quite a few months in order to get service disconnection. In addition- how early do you get your gas bill?

Right- that bullshit.

So my planned trip of debauchery and sexual harassment collapsed right before my eyes.

I’m like this is some bullshit and don’t ever EVER ask me to go out of town with any of yall for any reason- that $ (meaning the original flight and the stay at the hotel) could have been used for another trip.

Hell I could’ve stayed at the Courtyard for about $30 with my discount!

So in the morning I checked out and went back to the airport.

A return flight cost me an additional $213- pretty much the price I originally paid for the round trip flight.

Plus that damn $15 bag fee.

Then every time I turned around some dude was all up in my face (I mean seriously- do all the straight men in Atlanta work at the Airport?) and checking out my ass.

I mean I was wearing my uniform of a t shirt and leggings- but come on now?

The chick who served me my Midnight Train to Georgia had a bigger ass than me

(Then again she was from the Chi as well...lol…Midwestern Chicks have ass too you know)

Asking me if my ass was real? Do I get injections? Do I take my clothes for money (only when times are hard lol)…I mean really- dude can you please check my boarding pass so I can go through security?

Offering to buy me Popeye’s and shit (I won’t lie- I was tempted- fuck what you heard- I love Popeye’s biscuits)

Trying to take pictures on the sneak tip (FYI- turn the fucking sound off the next time- jerk face)

So I was back in DC less than 24 hours after I left that bitch.

Hot and annoyed.

Left one oven (Atlanta- boy I don’t see how people can do it- almost sweated my damn perm out) for another oven.

So I don’t have any real pictures of Atlanta

*sigh*

Take 2 of Atlanta will hopefully happen by the end of the summer.

Some straight bullshit.