Don't Call It A Comeback....

It’s a damn shame when you haven’t written in so long, you’ve forgotten your password.

I think I have a persistent strand of Malaria or something. As soon as I get well, I mean as soon as my nose clears up and I can actually smell something, I get sick all over again.

I’m convinced it’s work. You know you’re fine until you pull into the parking lot and all of a sudden you’re coughing and sneezing? I swear that’s me. I’m fine at home but as soon as I hit 110, my throat contracts and I have to pull over because I’m coughing too hard to see straight. I think I should have a note that excludes me from work, benefits and pay included of course, but my doctor and boss are not convinced.

Do people still get sick notes from the doctor?

I remember in college I got sick notes like they were going out of style. I mean having a hang over is not a medical condition but I sure could fake it like I had a cold or something. I’m sure my professor(s) thought I was about to drop dead given all the notes I gave.

Best believe I used all four/five of those “missed class penalties before it affects your grade” days.

I probably would have done better in some classes if it wasn’t for $5 pitchers of Long Island Ice Tea at White Horse on Wednesday. I mean really, who puts all the good drink specials on a weekday? Like I’m going to pass up $1 shots!

So here it is hot as hell outside and I’m having hot flashes. It’s 90 degrees and I have on a hoodie and sweats complaining that I am freezing. Then at night I’m lowering the AC to 60 and I’m kicking the covers off complaining I’m hot.

And why is it when you’re sick it seems like people want to get extra close to you to talk?

I don’t like being around too many people when I’m sick, you know I’m considerate enough to not want to release the Plague of 7 Deaths on people, but people want to get all up in my face to ask a question.

Ima need your breathe to not be on the back of my neck.

Then have the nerve to have an attitude when I tell you to fall back.

Probably the same damn reason I’m sick, too many people in my face.

Damn Community germs.

I’m going to start wearing the white mask over my mouth like the Koreans who do my nails do. Although…damn can I get a mask too? Why do I have to breathe in the fumes? Can I have healthy lungs too?
My best friend FH is finally back from Iraq. Alive and well. She’s relocating to San Antonio so a road trip is in order. Broad is still crazy.

She’s going to live next door to a strip club. I was like well there you go…part time job right there. She’d never be late for work. And after every dance she can go home and shower.

I told her I would strip but the pole is a little too unsanitary for my taste. I mean all that random coochie juice on the pole and you expect me to put my own coochie there? Please. I’d have to wipe that stage down with ammonia, bleach and Lysol spray before a bare body part touches any parts of the stage. And damn those strippers shoes, I’m too clumsy, I’m stripping in some footies.

With the little balls in the back. Gotta keep it hood.

*lol*

But until I am completely well, my ass is on house arrest.

Well besides tanning that is. Gotta get my chocolate on.