Viva Las Vegas Part 2

Got to the hotel, checked in, took a quick shower, and it was off to the strip for us.

Ok…here’s where our common sense failed us.

We stayed next to the Convention Center which is about a mile off the strip. Next time we’re springing to stay on the Strip. The monorail is next to the Convention Center, which would take us on a quick *and refreshingly cool* ride to the Strip.

What do our black asses opt to do?

WALK.

IN 95 FUCKING DEGREE WEATHER.

TO THE STRIP.

Never the fuck again.

I don’t even like walking 4 blocks to the Metro anymore.

What made me think I could walk A MILE to the strip?

I’m breathing hard and sweating and I’m just in front of the hotel?!

I’m hot, miserable, sweating running down my back, feet hurting *although they were fierce in my Coach loafers* and I’m like dying. No shade. Hell no bugs were even out in that heat.

Just some Mexicans with wet shirts around their head. They offered me a shirt but tuh fuck up my hair?! With water?! Nigga you nuts!

So when we FINALLY hit the strip, we did the tourist thing. Snapping pictures of any and every thing. Ducking in and out of casinos. Losing money of course. Shopping at The Forum. Eating. Talking on the phone and avoiding all the bodies and traffic.

Some basketball dude was in The Forum causing a commotion. Shit he wasn’t anyone I wanted to see so I kept it moving. Like I knew who he was anyway.

JBN told me he played for the Suns and they just lost in the play offs.

I was like Oh nice, lose the playoffs and drown his sorrows in shopping and cheap booze and women in Vegas.

We’re walking in Caesar’s Palace and I’m chasing down Cleopatra and her crew for a picture, ‘cuz that’s just what type of person I am.

Like a camera whore isn’t going to troll for pictures. JBN was my official photographer. Folks were like, damn did he take any pictures, and I was like eh he’d fuck up the great shot of me for Face book.

No Myspace.

Which is the devil.

So I’m talking on the phone with one of my buddies, bragging how I’m in Vegas and her weak ass is defrosting chicken for dinner in the Chi, when I slam right into this dude.

Typical “motherfucker although I’m all in the way how dare you walk in the path that I was walking in” behavior: I chew him out. Like dude watch where the fuck you going while inspecting my shoes to make sure he didn’t step on them cuz that would’ve been a fight, stepping on my brand new fresh out the box shoes.

I go back to my phone conversation and dude kinda chuckled and was like his bad or some crap like that.

Next thing you know people just come out of no where asking to take his picture.

I had no idea who he was, thought he was another athlete or something, so I’m on the phone chatting away.

JBN walks up and is like do you know who that was? That’s that Ultimate Fighting dude who just won the fight. Once again the name slips me and I’m too lazy to google it but he’s the big Black dude whom I’m assuming whooped the hell out of his opponent, who I did recognize from an episode of “Entourage”

*lol*

JBN is like I can’t believe you don’t know who that is. His posters are like everywhere, in fact there go three right there.

So I’m like the Ultimate Dink.

BUT am I a lame for wanting a picture though? *lol*

But alas I turned back around and he was gone.

So yeah that’s my run in with a “celebrity”.

You know if some shit went down JBN was not jumping in right? Dude was like a solid side of beef.

So we gambled some more, lost money, and left to go to several more casinos. Walked around for a bit and took our asses back to the hotel for some rest.

Got up the next day, still sweltering out, got some breakfast and did the same shit we did yesterday. Got to the other end of the strip this time. Hit another mall where they were serving this BIG ASS cup of daiquiris. Those fuckers were strong as shit. More like Alcohol with colored ice. So we’re sipping these, walking in the hot ass sun, sun+alcohol don’t mix and before you know it, we were both drunk as skunks.

And since you can walk around with alcohol that made it even better for us. Stopped at another place and ate lunch and got some more drinks.

Passed out shortly after getting to the hotel.

You’d think we would’ve gotten tired of doing the same shit every day but you know we didn’t. I was into hitting the clubs, I’m weaning off of them, so what did I do to make up for not shaking my ass in some club.

I ate my ass off.

I think we ate in almost every restaurant on the strip.

And don’t let me get on some of the buffets we went to. I know people were thinking I know she’s ain’t going back up for 5ths…but I did.

There goes my diet once again.

It cooled down enough for me and I spent a couple of hours at the pool. Just chilling with the one good breeze I finally felt.

We got dressed up and went out to dinner and chilled on the strip until it got late. Had to take the taxi back as the Monorail stopped running and I was NOT walking back.

Monday we left sunny Vegas and it was yet another LONG ass flight back. It took 7 years for the sun to go down AND yet another long ass ride through another state. Not as much turbulence though and I did get at least two hours of sleep.

Apparently the AC went out while I was snoozing, giving the germs plenty of time to infiltrate my body so when we landed at Dulles, already my nose was running.

It took a downhill from there. I have been sick the entire fucking week. I’ve been completing my work and leaving early all week. Passing out on the couch with booger tissue all around me.

Smelling like Au De Vicks.

Nose as red as its going to get and skin all dry and ashy.

Voice so scratchy people have been asking me did I just wake up.

Yeah the girl is looking bad.

I’ll be back on my feet soon though.

And then I can tell you about this guy who I secretly think is stalking me.

And I’m sick but not so sick I’m not going to see Katt Williams tonight! In concert that is. I’m not that much of a groupie.

Well only for Etan. Hey I can dream can’t I?