Yeah...I'm Shocked Too....

You know I never realized how many “friends” I had until I began formulating the guest list for my wedding.

Although I am 100% positive that many of my so-called “friends” are fueled by the fact that we’re having a four hour open bar.

I mean the promise of free alcohol is how JBN lured me to his room that first time.

Or maybe it was the promise of real pizza and not that crap the cafeteria served.

Come to think of it, the promise of free booze or food always managed to lure me somewhere.

*lol*

So yeah…I’m back.

For good this time. I promise. My muse left me but apparently decided to come back. Fucker was on an unpaid vacation and shit.

So far this wedding planning isn’t half bad. I mean sure I have to patiently explain to people why I’m not mailing out invites yet…I mean the wedding is in August, folks been sweating me since September.

Oh and I haven’t even bought any invites anyway but that’s not the point.

And I have to patiently explain to my mother and the rest of my kin folk that inviting people who I have NO idea who they are is NOT an option.

As if your poker buddy is going to buy me a nice gift.

And not to mention there are gasps of disbelief that I do not want a bridal shower.

I mean we’ve been together 5 years…trust I have all the skanky lingerie there is. I don’t need crotch less panties or edible undies…trust those are in the closet next to the handcuffs. *wink*

But…as I said, not half bad.

The last few months have been kind of rough on me.

There’s this whole wedding thing, which was a headache and a half. I mean I am trying to do almost everything myself *since I know what I like and want* from the DC area and although my aunt and now my Mo-Mo *godmother* is on the train…things are looking up.

My brother, yes my shiftless lazy ass brother with numerous children, got married in November…and apparently found God.
Which I’m not hating on, I mean in the few short months he have really turned his life around and I couldn’t be prouder. To go from the lazy asshole mooching off of my mother to getting married and holding down a full time job not to mention getting back in the church is an excellent thing.

My family wasn’t without the side eye though. I mean this is my brother we’re talking about. I was in disbelief when I got the phone call.

I had to ask my mother did I have a new brother or something.

I won’t get into his church though. *side eye* Say what you want but I’m not into one of those churches where everyone is hollering and screaming, writhing on the floor from the Holy Ghost and all that jazz. I literally left his church with a migraine.

I mean why have a sound system when I can clearly hear you screaming from down the street? And all the fire and brimstone? Not for me.

And the lady that damn near went into an epilepsic seizure in front of me kind of did it for me. All the whooping and hollering and as soon as the music stops, she picks her ass up from the floor like it’s nothing.

*side eye*

But ummm yeah, my baby brother beat me to the alter.

I won’t even go into work. *sigh* I just won’t. I like 95% of my co workers, I really do. It’s not too many work places where political correctness is frowned upon. Oh yeah, we’re some filthy mouth racist *or so we have been told by another co-worker who was uncomfortable with our daily conversations about sex, penis, vagina, more sex, and the occasional racial stereotype thrown in for good measure*

And let’s not get on the blatant sexual harassment.

But the last few months have really been trying. I hate lazy people and I hate the fact that because I’m one of the hardest working persons in my department that shit comes down on me when other lazy motherfuckers decide to slack on their job.

So every day was a bitch fest. I mean I am not the type to remain quiet about shit especially when it comes to MY job and MY work duties. I’ll be damn if I get hollered for anything that pertains to me.

Niggas will have to pump those brakes. I don’t play that.

Don’t get me wrong I’m far from a whistle blower. I don’t believe in running to my superiors or HR for every little thing—I’m a face to face confronter. For the most part, I just do my job and my job only but you know how the actions of lazy people eventually affects your work and like I said, I’ll be damned if I let someone get me in hot water, so outside of daily calling folks out, I got into it with a few of my co workers.

It’s not a surprise it’s really the people I don’t get along with so I knew the shit was going to hit the fan anyway. I guess they thought by trying to make me look bad, I would get fired or a write up or something.

Clearly fucking with the wrong person. Testing my gangster while at work is the wrong thing to do.

Shit done fucked up your gift card for the Secret Santa and shit. *lol*

But...all my bitching has paid off.

In the next few weeks, I will be the supervisor over the SAME folks I have problems with.

Yeah that’s right…bitch got a well-deserved promotion.

*Not like I wasn’t doing the same shit before but now my ass is getting PAID to do it*

I should have taken a picture of their faces when it was announced. Straight gas faces. Faces looked like the world was over. One chick even got up and left the room.

*insert my self-satisfied smirk*

I’m now like a casting director…what are you really willing to do in order to get Saturday night off?

*eyes cut to the “chair” *hell my office isn’t big enough for a couch*

*sinister smile as I slowly close my office door*

Revenge has never smelled sweeter.