Wipe Me Down

That song “Wipe Me Down” by Lil Boosie has got to be the DUMBEST song I’ve heard…this month.

Why did I think they were saying “Bite Me Now” though?

Blame my bad hearing and the fact that I am known to fuck up some lyrics in a heartbeat.

Although I shudder to think of any one nasty enough to put a set of lips on any parts of his body.

He needs to be wiped down all right…with some hot bleach and ammonia.

I mean this “looking dirty” trend is not hot. I’ll take the old fashioned “looking and smelling clean” any day.

No so-called “hustlers” or “gangsters” around my way has ever looked dusty as hell in the pursuit of making that “chop”. Standing on the corner all day meant crisp clothes and fresh kicks to profile in. It meant going in the house to take a shower when that Chi-Town humidity got too much for them in the summer. It also meant lacing the local hoodrat with the finest Baby Phat, Avirex and Davoucci leathers that you can find at Man Alive or The Lark.

I mean it was so not sexy to have your so-called significant other out there looking busted and you're supposed to be a big time hustler.

I mean sure a few were the variety “Pig Pen” assortment but they were nasty before they got into “The Game”. And really, I don’t expect a lot of chicks to come flocking to a bruh who has a big ass MILD sauce stain on the front of his once white but now cream tee.

I mean really, is it necessary to wear that big of a shirt out in public? Knowing damn well you're a smedium rocking a XXXL shirt.

And I'm sorry, white Hanes tees were strictly undershirts in my household. My mama wished you would walk out the house with your "under garments" showing. That was an automatic ear yank and a march right back into the house.

Boy how times have changed. Now what's a little bra strap, panty and thong display among strangers *yours truly in the guilty party as well*

Although...If your panties and/or boxers are on a tad bit dare I say it dingy and holey and the elastic is just through, I'm going to need a prompt investment in new underwear stat!

The elastic in a thong should not be showcased for the world to see. I'm just saying.

And ladies...if the bra is white...can the bra strap match the bra please?

But I will admit the dirtiest rappers have the catchest songs *side eyeing Lil’ Wayne*

When my rap album comes out, I'm going to have a dance called the "Tenacious Bop". I don't know what it will be yet but man that's going to be hot for the streets.

But…*hangs head* I do the lil “Wipe Me Down”, “Walk It Out” and any other lil’ dance number that comes out. Hell “Walk It Out” is an excellent work-out dance. You know shaping up your thighs and stomach. I don't know what I'm walking it out to just yet but I'm getting there.

But these dances are done in the privacy of my own home of course.

In the words of FH: I don’t do them nigga dances out in the streets.

I am too classy for that.

*lol*