Bush Is My Favorite Comedian

I said I will get this over with right now so I don’t have to bring it up in another post. I don’t Bush *big shock there*. I don’t like what he stands for and I think he is going to run this already fucked up country into the ground. I can go on and on about the lies he spews from his mouth all day long but there are plenty of other sites dedicated to the hatred of Bush (and other Republicans in general). In 2004, I was so sure that Bush would lose but sadly RED STATES had to mess it up for the rest of us- Damn Bible Thumpers!!! I voted for Kerry personally. What a waste of a vote.

But you know what? As much as Bush disgusts me, I have to give the man credit. That muthafucker is a champion bull shitter. He lies so much that to anyone else- their “B.S.” radar starting shooting off flames and shyt. Sadly to the other dumb asses out there- let’s just say “Blind and Dumb” (and that’s being nice!!) Bush reminds me of a muthafucker who is a chronic, pathological liar. At first you actually believe what comes out their mouth, for example:

Liar: You know I’m Usher’s cousin, right?

You (being the dumb ass): For real? Ooh I have all his c.ds! Is it true he’s hooking up with Naomi Campbell?

But as time go on…that “B.S.” radar start kicking in:

Liar: I got a 2006 Bentley…but uh yeah I just ride the bus cuz I don’t wanna get jacked for my whip

You (thinking): Yeah right nigga….who the fuck you fooling… (Out loud in a bored tone) Oh, for real? You must got them grown mens on it too huh? Damn you must have real chedda too huh?

*Points to above conversations* As you can see…after while you spot the lying ass for what they are…A LIAR!!! But sadly, there’s some people who just never quite “catch” on to the lie. Sure they might “feel” like a person is lying but in their “rational” mind they think “Well, why would this person lie?” Thus “Blind and Dumb” to the situation. After a while the liar catches on to this dinginess and just run with it…spitting all kinda lies-“There are weapons of mass destruction….”) and shyt knowing no one but YOU will ever call them on it. So with that said- Bush is my favorite comedian. Every time he opens his mouth, I laugh because I know some new joke will fall out his mouth. I’m on to his lies, you reading this blog is probably on to it but the AMERICAN public “B.S” radar have yet to kick into full gear. I aint mad at Bush- keep fucking lying because I know how you work. If some dummies are gonna keep endorsing you even AFTER you’re exposed for the fraud you are-well keep on doing whatcha do—I am not even going to hate. HELL- teach me to lie like that…I sure can use some Bush 101- Lying for Dummies- lessons. I might have gotten more “textbook” money from my parents during Undergrad.

Lately a friend at work has been turning me toward international news. After watching a few programs—I’m sorry America, but we are dumb. Our media is heavily regulated and the “real” news is shown on international circuits. Our media is bias anyway so I take everything they say with a grain of salt. One of my main problems with the media is: IT DOES NOT CARE ABOUT MINORITIES!! I live in DC now and the only time I see Black folk on the news is when they have this 15 minutes segment of all the shootings that went on in DC THAT DAY! I thought Chicago was bad…lol. I heard all the time about the random little white girl who came up missing or the poor white officer shot and killed in the line of duty but do I ever hear about the Black woman who has been missing for six weeks? Or the Black officer that was killed in the line of duty? NO…unless someone exposes the media and they do like two weeks of “We care about Black People” coverage…and then it’s right back to business covering dumb ass white girls who should know better than to run off with some strange ass muthafucker while you’re visiting in a fucking country that you don’t know shit about. Hell I won’t go a new grocery store in my neighborhood without my damn boyfriend let alone trekking through some random ass country with some guys that I met in a bar. Say it with me: WHITE PEOPLE THINK BEFORE YOU DO! YOU ARE NOT, I REPEAT, ARE NOT RUNNIN’ SHIT NO MORE!

*points to above paragraph* But you can’t tell some people that. Hey I know there are terrorists out there. Are they concerned about me? Hell naw! Do I even give a damn about what’s going on in their country? Hell naw! I can barely point it out on the map! You know people hate your ass when they BLOW themselves up to prove a point. Do I wish America would mind its own damn business? Yes! Bring our troops home! I’ve always wondered why the hell we go to countries when we don’t speak the language. Shouldn’t there be a crash course in languages in the military? I’m sure hella problems could be resolved if we knew what the hell they were saying- like “Hey, a terrorist is actually living in that house” or “There are only women/children left in this village” or better yet “THAT MUTHAFUCKER HAS A BOMB/GUN/SLING SHOT/ETC!!” I know the military lies too- way more civilians and soldiers are dead than statistics show- way more!

*points to above paragraph* But you can’t tell people that. I don’t knock the military. I have a lot of family and friends who have passed through the Marines, Army, Navy and National Guards. Some are still over there in Iraq. Some are not. I just believe Bush is playing on people’s fears to justify some shyt. I remember the night before the elections- the so-called Osama tapes. I am so tired of these damn tapes. One- he must got hella time on his hands (you know besides planning another attack and all) to make a tape (in the fucking mountains or wherever he’s hiding- no power regardless) have a foot soldier trek into town and deliver it to someone who can get it to whoever it needs to go to. Second- the tapes are edited as hell. I KNOW the media doesn’t get the entire tape. Pentagon has chopped that shit up. Third: IT IS NOT IN ENGLISH!! I don’t trust a fucking translator word! Hello people!! The translator work for the GOVERNMENT!! Besides Osama’s words aren’t even heard- it’s muted for the most part. You just see his damn mouth moving. You just have to go off what the “government” claims he is saying. I personally think the muthafucker is reading a grocery list or chastising someone in his camp for “playing with the fucking camera.” He’s probably like, “Man cut that shyt out before Bush gets a hold of this shyt and lie his ass off to the dumb ass people who endorsed him.” I can’t be threatened by someone who’s lying down half the time in his damn video. Shyt get the hell up! Start screaming and pointing your fingers at the camera. Wave your hands around! Do something to scare my ass! But you know what: same dumb ass tape probably was what got Bush back in office!

Bush is the champion when it comes to bull shiting someone. Continue to tickle the hell out of me Mr. President. I know the terrorists, like America, don’t give a damn about Black Folks anyway!!