I have a temper. Yes, it's true. I have tried anger management classes (they kicked my ass out...WTF you mean there's no more cookies) to no avail. I have accepted that I have a problem controlling my anger. My anger has gotten me in a lot of trouble over the years. For example, if anyone were to look at most of my old birthday party pictures, I'm not in most of them. Why? I have gotten my ass whooped at almost every birthday party of mine because of my anger issues. I was known for pimp slapping my guests (Bitch your mama bought that Barbie for me...Hell naw you can't "see" it...See this hand across your face) creating an issue when my birthday came around because no one wanted to come because they were scared of me. Who gets their ass whooped at their own birthday party? Me, all the time, apparently. It got to the point where my mother would start snapping away the minute the party started because she knew I would not make it to the cake and ice cream. Looking now, as an adult, my mother stated, "Well, I don't know where the hell you picked that up at...This is an non-violent family". <---You know I had to arch an eyebrow at that statement. My mother was a champion ass whooper! She gave out ass whoopings like it was candy or something! My brother, myself, cousins, randoms friends, hell random strangers have all been a victim of my mother's infamous "pimp hand". I got my ass tagged so much I was the poster child for ass whoopings! And I turned out fine (or so I thought).
Now I'm not campaigning for child abuse. There is a vast difference people! Child abuse is horrendous. I think people who abuse any child should be shot. I believe that there is nothing a child can do to justify: beating a child to the point of broken bones, welts, and death with anything you can get your hands on, burning a child with cigarettes, irons, iron pokers, etc. leaving third degree burns on them, starving them, locking them in enclosed spaces for days, hours, weeks, years or any other horrendous act of violence toward a child. That shit sickens me and I wish I was the person who discovered people who do this to their child- let's just say someone would be taking an extremely looong ride downtown...well you won't make it down town of course but you get the picture. I am however campaigning for good old fashioned ass whoopings. I believe an ass whooping makes you a better person. An ass whooping also prevents me from wanting to beat your bad ass kid myself! I'm sorry- there are some kids that an ass whooping should be mandatory. I see them- falling out in the store, cursing and/or hitting their parent, throwing shit..basically running over the adult while the adult beg for that child to behave. Shiiiittt COULD NOT BE ME! My mama didn't play that! She wish you would act a fool in public! My mama had no problem spanking us in public- hell she was ripping belts from the displays to tap our little asses....shit she even went as far to buy the belt because she liked the feel. Her belts had names and depending on what you did, you got what ever color belt as punishment..."Blackie" was her particular favorite BTW. If more kids got that ass whooped, less serial killers and sick fucked up individuals would live in society. If parents would have beat that ass the first time they caught little Johnny: torturing/maiming small animals, playing with a gun, building mini-bombs in the basement, or doing anything that makes me think the "devil is in ya", then they would NOT grow up eating folks, burying folks in the backyard, killing 30 people between Ohio and Pennsylvania or any other sick shit like that because you squashed that shit from Day One. Sure they could sneak and do it, but after I've caught you the first time, I'd beat that ass everyday so you wouldn't even think of sneaking off to do some shit like that. <---Well White Folks are usually crazy as hell like that anyway. I say: Stop putting your fucking 8 year old in a damn stroller, making their grown ass co-dependent and weak as fuck, and such things like, them killing your ass 20 years later, would not occur.
I have a temper....lol. I have been slapping people for years now. It's almost second nature to raise my hand to hit some one. But strangely, I don't really fight/hit females. I see them as a "waste of time". No seriously. The last physical altercation I had with a girl was at 15 and she made it a point to pick on my little cousin. My little shy, meek, and ultra-nice cousin. I had to beat her ass to prove a point- leave my family alone! That's mainly why I don't even waste my breathe fighting or even arguing with another woman (now while I'm drunk that's a different story). There is no point! Most of the women I know fight/argue over the same thing : men, he said/she said garbage, pettiness, and men! I don't argue over any of this. If he's fucking me and fucking you- why am I going to fight you over a man that's apparently not mine? Hell you can have his ass! I am a grown ass woman dawg- I can say whatever needs to said to your face- no second party gossip here! If you call me and ask me, "I heard you said such and such..." If I said it, I would admit it, although it would not be anything that I have not already told you to your face and if I didn't I would say so. Don't put words in my mouth people! That's bound to start me the boiling! I usually only save my breathe for men. Why? Considering I am short and little as hell and someone could flick me across the room with his pinky finger? I know it would be good, no petty female shit, but some real shit. Granted I know most men would not hit me back, but hey if you feeling froggy--leap leap muthafucker. Most of the time a dude has earned the backhand for inappropriate groping. Don't touch me! You are not my boyfriend! In the club, that is grounds for an ass whooping! Don't palm my butt like you know me when I walk by! Damn, did I fuck you or something? Touching me in that intimate way like I was calling your name last night! If we're dancing, keep your damn hands where I can see them! If I wanted my clothes to come off to Nelly's "Hott in Herr", I would take them off! I don't need help! Stop grabbing my hand to get my attention! I'm from the Chi- my first thought is that you're trying to go for ma purse! I see you...I was ignoring you on purpose!
Since most of the time, my dear, patient boyfriend and I don't go out together (partly because of shit like my temper), he only hears about it after I've gotten me (and my party) booted out the club. Of course he's mad and I hear the "Baby you can't just be slapping niggas like that! He was the bouncer!" and I feel bad b/c I wish he would just stand there and do nothing, but it's my temper. I can't control it. I have gotten into it with women but I'm usually drunk as hell anyway and don't even remember the shit I spit to you, but for the most part, my battles come with men. I love MEN, love everything about you, but don't piss me off! Granted, the pimp hand is not always out and in effect, but you will get a tongue lashing from my ass. I can curse a muthafucker out like it's a skill! I have been told that my tongue is more lethal than the hand because I "hurt feelings". Maybe because my feelings don't get hurt, (I'm so damn insensitive), I'm not a crier (it's a scary occasion in the few times I have cried...mutha fuckers know something is serious), I'm crude, aggressive, stubborn (hence my nickname "Tenacious"), bold, and cocky...I forget sometimes that everyone is not like me. But oh well. Suck it up! Be a man! Now I'm not all cock-diesel. My best friends say I have a "schizo" personality because I think like a man but act like a girl (I'm such a fucking lady). I don't like sports, I hate to sweat, I'm terrified of insects, I'm addicted to shoes/purses/shopping, I love babies, cleaning soothes me...And then there's my Jamaican dancehall persona "Satcha" (lol...I'm not Jamaican but I swear I am a honorary one). It's like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde sometimes....But of course the Incredible Hulk is lurking in there somewhere.
Don't think I'm a bully, because I'm not. I don't pick on people, I don't purposely start fights. I never have picked on anyone who is "smaller" than me, in fact I will beat the hell outta someone for picking on someone who is not on the same level of "competition" as them. I'm that friend people hate to see coming b/c I have no problem reading your ass if I think you have done something wrong to my friend. I don't believe in walking over anyone. Like I said, I'm little as hell so it's not like I'm a "Baby Dee" or anything. Just don't ignite my anger...Dire consequences are sure to follow...
Just toss an ant at me or something. Watch the "punk" come out of me in a heartbeat.......
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