I don't have a lot of friends *big shock* but I have a lot of "associates". My mother said it best when she said to me, "Everyone who grins in your face is not your friend". *nods head* This statement is so true. I have had so-called friends who have said/done hurtful things, slept with my boyfriend(s), spread vicious rumors, and was generally "[smiling] in my face/all the time they wanna take [my] place/Backstabbers".
Oh yes, Tenacious, has had them all. I had a girl, I thought this broad was my "Ace Boon Coon", slept with my damn boyfriend (not the current one) while I was at a three-week retreat. It's not that I cared really deeply about my ex, but it was the principle. I wasn't on the bus good when she was already bobbing and slobbing my boyfriend. Needless to say, she had a page on my permanent shit list. Last I heard she was on Baby #3 and him...He went to jail. Oh well for the both of them. I've had a little bit of all types. That's why I limit my actual "friend" intake. I keep plenty of associates but not many friends. In total, I have five friends- two female and three males (yes males and females can be friends).
I don't keep female friends. I don't why but I seriously limit my interaction with women. Well maybe it's my crude demeanor and my different way of thinking, but I can't stand females. Females are petty. Females are phony. Females are silly and immature. Females are insecure and competitive. Sure, all females are not like this (hence my two female best friends) but I don't have the time to maneuver around female politics. Maybe that's why I never joined a sorority. I can't be around phony people. That's not even how I roll. My two female best friends are basically mirror images of me. In high school, we were the "Asshole Three". We were obnoxious, loud, bossy and downright ig'nant. We are such some fucking ladies. We are silly as hell- we keeps the jokes coming. We are so fun to be around. Men love us. Women hate us. They are my best friends. We have never had a fight. Repeat: We have never in our 9 years of solid friendship have had a serious fight. About food: yes. About men: no! About petty shit: no! We're ride or die friends! We have already gotten kicked out of more bars, clubs, restaurants, sporting events, classes, liquor stores, Blockbusters, cars, buses, trains, planes, libraries, City Hall...The list goes on and on. The fit of giggles is enough to start walking us to the door because it's about to be trouble.
My three male friends...Oh they ah ma hearts! I adore them! I have adopted so many mannerisms from them that it's crazy. They are where I get my "male" perspective from. I love having male friends because they are: brutally honest, candid, sincere, and are able to offer a better argument than "Girl..F him. He a dog anyway". Men clue me to little things...The guy code if you will. I enjoy being around them. We can go out and have a good time w/o all the female politics that go on when you go out with women. Now much to my boyfriend's horror- one is an ex. Usually I don't have any contacts with my exes. In fact, I don't want anything to do with you. Nothing personal. It's just that it's best. My rules for exes are clear and simple: 1) Once you're an ex, you stay an ex. 2)No ex-sex- this one is sooo important. Most try to do that ol' "well it's already available..Not like we didn't have sex...Window of opportunity is always open" B.S. but I am glad to say NOT ME!! I have never had post- break up sex with an ex. You're an ex for a reason and you will stay that way. Well my best friend who is an ex...We were better as friends than bf/gf. Too much alike. But he is such a cool person, it would be a disserve to myself to kick him to the curb b/c we were not compatible in a relationship type of way. But oh was the sex off the chain!!! If he wasn't my best friend (and an ex..Thus refer to the rules) and I did not have a boyfriend...Man oh man *sorry wipes slob off cheek* Oh he can lay it down. We joke about that sometimes but alas it will never happen again. My other two male friends are childhood best friends whose mothers have been friends with my mother for as long as I can remember. They're like your favorite big brother. Stern and overprotective but always good for advice. They keeps it real with me and I appreciate that.
I *heart* my best friends. Anyone who can put up with me in all my moodiness, craziness and just wacky self deserves a pat on the back. My associates, I feed with a long handled spoon. My best friends sit at the table. Don't underestimate a good friendship and please don't take your friends for granted...They might not be there tomorrow.
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