I Hate My Job

There are days when I love my job and then there are weeks when I hate it.

Like how this week is shaping up.

I wish I could win the Powerball so I could never work a day of my life.

Or marry a hot neurosurgeon and become a housewife.

I’ll take either or.

It shouldn’t be a surprise that I deal with a lot of people who lack common sense. I mean a lot of common sense. And being the person that I am, it is often my duty to point this out on a regular day basis.

That Sounds Personal is my other slogan at work. I QUIT This Bitch! of course is the first.

And everyone wonders why I groan when I have to drag myself from the back in order to attend to guests in the front.

And as much as I try to fight it while in the workplace, that biting sarcasm has a way of emerging and before you know it, another document to add to the thick file I probably have at Corporate.

Now I have never claimed or wanted to be a “people person”. I work around people because well I have to. If I had it my way I would work from home. I think I deal well with others *tuh I was never put in the corner in pre-school for not playing well with others…that was Kindergarten*, for the most part I get along with my co-workers, I’m friendly enough. I smile, ooh and ahh at new baby pictures, contribute to potluck dinners and all that jazz.

As long as I am not irritated, I am in a general happy place.

With guests, nine times out of ten I am not in a happy place.

There are hundreds of things that guests do or ask that irritates the shit of out me to no end. From funky attitudes to stupid questions, I have it all.

And I try, I really do, to curb my mouth but you know sometimes things just slip out. I just can’t be all phony, “the customer is always right” and shit. Please talk to me with respect, please do not think that because I am at work that I will not read you because I will.

Talking greasy out the side of your mouth is the quickest way to shut down any form of helpfulness you may have received.

I feel like composing a list and posting it for guest to see as they check in because all types of crunkness have been going. I mean straight “Someone Pissed in My Cornflakes This Morning” attitude and while I have been gritting my teeth because a few “Bitch…” or “Motherfucker…” is sure to slip out and for the time being I need my job.

However, do not think the sarcasm has died down.

I feel like saying,

DO NOT:


1. Get an attitude because I cannot spell your name. Like Zrblowonowski is the new Smith.

2. Get an attitude because I cannot find your name in the system only to find out the reservation was not in your name in the first place. Yeah “White” and “Brown” sound exactly alike…So when you said it was under “White”, you really meant “Brown” right?

3. Swear up and down your company is paying the entire bill only to find out the hard way. And while you’re yelling at your secretary because you have to put down your own credit card, please step to the side so I can help someone else.

4. Talk on your cell phone. How rude and you will be the first to claim I did not say something vital because you were yakking on the phone.

5. Have your unruly ass children climb all over the counters, play with the bell carts, or run around in the revolving door. Kids will be kids but when I was a child let me have stepped away from my moms, a swift pop in the back of the head was administered. Also I don’t want your poo diaper baby sitting on the counter like I love the smell of a smelly diaper. Now I gotta spray AND febreeze the counter.

6. Interrupt me while I am talking. Please wait until I’m done with my script. As well, don’t interrupt me when you see me talking to another guest. That’s just rude. Please wait until I’m done or better yet how about you ask the other attendant? I mean I am not the only one working up here, why are you waiting specifically for me?

7. Get mad because you have to pay for parking. In this area, as well in DC and some parts of Maryland you will pay for parking. Please stop trying to debate me down on parking. If you park here, you will pay.

8. Debate over the rate. If you booked your own reservation *as you claim* then I know damn well you knew what you were paying before you got here. Not to mention the 10 emails you may have received a week that remind you of your upcoming stay that states your RATE at least three times. If you didn’t, please holla at the person who made your reservation!

9. Argue over tax exempt/government rate. In Arlington EVERYONE pays taxes. Come on now with your headquarters probably in DC do you really think Virginia is going to let some money slip through its fingers?! Only government employees and military are entitled to government rates. Just because you washed a damn diplomat’s window, it doesn’t entitle you to the government rate.

10. Think I know every building, street, Metro stop, restaurant, church, strip club, nail/hair salon, and barber in the DC Metro area! Don’t tell me you need to get to a church in DC and don’t know the name or address of the church!

11. Ask stupid questions. If I tell you that you can only make a right on the street out front because it is a ONE-WAY street, don’t ask why you can’t make a left. I bid you good day sir.

12. Act as if I am a representative from the airlines. I don’t know why your flight got delayed in Texas nor do I care. Better yet, take that up with American Airlines. And if you know, just know, you can’t make it that day please call ahead of time and change your arrival time because if you don’t show up, we will cancel your reservation. It’s just that simple. Don’t get mad when you show up two days later and your reservation has been cancelled. This ain’t the airlines, ain’t no standby for a missed reservation. Check the dates and holler if you can’t make it. I get very tired of guest who come in mad because their reservation was cancelled, start waving some papers around and when I look at the paper the date is BOLD right on the paper. I just explain that um yeah by MY calculation that date has already passed so…do you need me to hail a cab so you can find another hotel?

13. Act like I am a slave. It is not my job to carry your luggage so don’t hang it over the desk to me. It is not my job to carry your Starbucks and it’s damn sure not my job to hail you a cab.

14. Ask me anything in another language. I speak English only, don’t switch up from English to German and expect me to understand. It’s one thing if you don’t speak English, I can find a translator but don’t ask me something in English and then abruptly switch to another language.

15. Get an attitude because you arrive at 7 am and there are not any clean rooms ready. Who told you to take that early flight? Check in is at 4 pm, if it’s available we give it to you, if not then you have to wait.

16. On that note, there is a difference between GUARANTEED and REQUESTED. We don’t guarantee early check-ins.

17. This is not the Ritz or Four Seasons. If you’re that needy and have 1000 demands please stay there. We try our best, my hotel isn’t perfect, shit happens. In a hotel, things break, malfunction, or doesn’t work. It happens. The same as in one’s home. The same as everywhere. Not trying to make excuses for our hotel but what can I say? Work with us and we will do our best to rectify the wrong. BUT if we don’t know you’re allergic to feathers why would you get upset at us because we have feather bedding? We’ll remove it of course but don’t flip out like we should have KNOWN you were allergic…although you’re rocking a North Face down. And if it’s something YOU did, don’t cop an attitude. Our toilet didn’t clog by itself, it was YOUR monster poo!

18. Get loud. I don’t like raised voices. Maintain low tones with me. Maintain low tones.

19. Learn to add and multiply. Do not yell at me because we check for authorization of charges on your card. We’re gonna make sure we have our money. Don’t ask why we searched for X amount of dollars. If you’re here for a week we make sure you have enough credit for a week. AND we only automatically deduct from DEBIT not CREDIT. Do not give us a debit card if you do not want the charges taken out immediately. That’s why its called a “debit card”.

20. Get mad if your card decline. Take that up with Visa.

21. Tell me you can take your services elsewhere. I mean do you need me to show you where the exit is located?

22. Tell me what another hotel chain does or doesn’t do. Do you need me to check for vacancies there instead?

23. Demand an upgrade. If we have it, we have it. Depending on our moods and how you talk to the front desk, we may give it to you. Remember an upgrade is a REQUEST. However, don’t think if you’re paying less than $200 you’re getting a suite. I’m going to need you to holler back.

24. Threaten to sic my RM, GM or Corporate on me. Do you need me to make the phone call for you? Give you the address so that you can mail your letter? Better yet, direct you to the Metro stop so that you can deliver it personally? Please make sure my name is spelled right please.

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY

25. When I am off the clock.. DON’T ASK ME FOR SHIT!! If you see me heading out the door, obviously leaving the building, don’t ask for assistance because you really don’t to hear those word:

“Um I’m off the clock”

And see my retreating back. I don’t play games when it’s time to get off work.

*sigh* I’m typing this from work right now. I am so tempted to print this. It is not even 10 am and already ½ of my rules have been broken.

Expect a Co Worker Rant Shortly....