Thursday, August 17, 2006

Conclusion of Tenacious Crappy Thursday....



Update of my sh*tty day:

Since I couldn’t go back to sleep I decided to get up and run some errands and of course pay the cable bill.

Thought I lost my ATM card...Turns out it was at home...In the drawer. Blame the early on-set of Alzheimer's. I never take it out my wallet but apparently this time I switched it with one of my credit cards. So I'm at the ATM and I'm digging around for my card. Can't find it so I go into the bank and talk to a teller. I didn't want to cancel the card just yet partly because I didn't want to wait 7-10 business days for a new one and since there haven't been any new transactions since the last time I used the card **two weeks ago** I figured I misplaced it. Of course the first thing I thought was someone swiped it and you know I was going to be kicking ass and taking names later, but my fiance' found it in the condoms drawer. Why it was in the condom drawer and not the other drawer I don't know but I was relieved to find it after I was walking around pissed about my ATM card. So it's back in the wallet.

Banged my f*cking leg trying to lug the cable box back to the cable company. The fiancĂ© doesn’t want digital anymore, no biggie, I’ll just free load off of someone else’s.

Was eye f*cked by several dirty old men which made me snap. You’re, like, old enough to be Jesus grand-daddy talking about, “Hey sweet thang…”

Button popped off my favorite shirt. Does that mean my breasts are getting bigger or that b*tch just shrunk in the wash?

Ran into CUTIE leaving the cable place. If I didn't already know that he paid his bill there already I would think he was stalking me. We made small talk and lawd why is his older brother fine as sh*t? A creamy chocolate dream and dammit I discovered this AFTER I kicked CUTIE to the curb? But I don’t think his brother liked me too much, he was giving off the “stank face” and his face is too pretty to be screwed up like that. I’m sorry your brother doesn’t have “IT” but he was looking really cute today. Really cute. Oh well.

I finally got around to buying those dumb ass plane tickets. I need to stop stalling on buying plane tickets. These were $262 this time. And my f*cking flight leaves at 5:40 am on Sunday. Pissed me off. F*cking terrorists is f*cking up my flight routine. Before, not only did I leave for the airport 45 minutes before my flight but I didn’t check luggage. I used to work at Dulles and lawd the way we treated those bags was crazy. Due to that, I never check luggage if I can. Now I have no choice too, that is unless I’m willing to part with my lotions, toothpaste, perfume and mouthwash which I am not. Not to mention the long lines that is sure to ensure. Now I have to leave at least 2 hours before my flight if I hope to get back to DC. And f*cking Midway is already a pain in the ass without security precautions!

Of course people are clamoring for my time but I had to let a few people know, I come home for the family. My family get majority of my time, you know I can’t pull away from my niece and nephew, and what ever is left over, it’s kicking it time. It’s only so much I can do on the weekend when I come home so if you see me, good, if not better luck next time.

And this weekend is the big sit down with the family to discuss wedding plans. They think they have some ideas but they have another thing coming. This is my wedding and only the people I want *ok aside from the groomsmen* will march down that aisle. They’re trying to push that my cousin and I whom I haven’t spoken to since I was 19 should be in my wedding. Yeah aiight. Keep dreaming. Blood is thicker than water but I don’t f*ck with the sociopathic, pathological lying, spiteful, hateful bitch. When she goes to therapy, then we’ll talk.

After seeing CUTIE and I guess giving him the closure he needed although he did look like a sad puppy dog and he kept eyeing my ring like it was a doomsday device, that’s all he stared at was my ring. When my hand moved so did his eyes. I thought he was going to jack me the way he was following the ring’s movement. I guess he thought I was just bullsh*tting until he saw the ring.

And when blogger stop acting weird, I’ll post a picture of the ring. For some reason when it does allow me to upload a picture, it replaces any picture from the previous post with the current one. Really annoying and frustrating.

Stubbed my toe stepping off the curb…I should sue Arlington County.

I’m breaking out again. Damn adolescent acne! I think it’s stress.

Wanted McDonalds…It was closed. Who the f*ck closes a McDonald’s at 5 pm? So I’m kicking the door mad because I could just taste that McChicken sandwich which of course will go to my ass and then further stretch the stretch marks that is slowly mapping its way around the booty. Ass is so greasy from the cocoa butter I obsessively slather on, it squeaks when I sit down.

I also need some sex.

Damn final and job is f*cking up my dick schedule!

Hmmm…maybe that’s my problem. I’m sexually frustrated. I’m also grumpy when I go without sex for more than a couple of days. I need the stimulation. And thanks Dr. T for your analysis but its not just a male body in the bed that helps me sleep…honestly it’s anybody. I had a king size bed in high school **blame the tosser and turning in me** and my two female best friends and I would always sleep in my bed. Cold feet, snoring, and the occasional smack on the nose by someone’s hand aside, I had good sleep.

I admit, sometimes when I’m home, I crawl in the bed with my mother and go to sleep. She hates it of course but she never complains. There are dozen of pictures of me knocked out next to my “kids”. Of course the kid is usually wide awake, thus furthering my claim of “When I go to sleep…You better go to sleep otherwise it’s holla back at least for a little while”.

And here I go, like a giggly school girl, I have a slight crush on one of my neighbors. I know I know, I’m a foot away from the alter talking about crushes but alas it’s a small one. Don’t worry I’m still going to be dragged down the aisle kicking and screaming **complete with pictures** and nothing is going to come of it, of course, but sh*t I can still window shop. *lol* I can still dream...*lol* before I'm locked down in holy matrimony.

I talked to my best friend and she ragged on me for being soft. She promise she’ll try to stay out of harm’s way and she was a little stunned to hear about me crying over her but that’s my b*tch. I told her she has to stick around so our adopted kids *lol* could grow up together and I force her to wear a hideous dress and pair up with the worst looking groomsman and vice versa for me. She’s been my rock for so long, it’s crazy. One of few people who I let into my inner circle and know more about me…than well me. Well almost. I still have my skeletons in the closet that she doesn’t know about. She’s never judgmental and she gives it to me straight, no chaser. Lets me know point blank when I’m f*cking up and set me back on the right road.

I love my b*tch.

Well maybe today isn’t all that bad…I think I just need a good night’s sleep and some good night penis and I’ll be straight in the morning.

That’s my best remedy. At least until I’m married and supposedly the sex dries up….hmm maybe I’ll have a sexy mailman or UPS guy or something….

5 comments:

Juicy said...

I love your blog. Girl you should think about writing a book.

Rashan Jamal said...

How small is Arlington that you can just bump into old boy like that? Have fun back home and don't sleep away your vacation. Go out and find some blog worthy adventure.

thee modern isis said...

Jesus' grandaddy.. I can't even lie.. I laughed outloud on that one. Yes, yes.. lack of sex does make one cranky. You better handle that, and please sleep BEFORE u have sex. Wouldn't want you sleeping while the fiance' is giving you his best... again.

Intelfetish said...

Girl, you are too young to be having Alzheimer's; lmao. By the way, don't take being eye fucked for granted, believe me, a day will come when you miss it -- well maybe half a day;?

Do me a favor, the next time you notice it, walk up to the guy and ask what was he thinking while he was looking @ you; you'd be amazed at how honest some men are...

Ms.Honey said...

WOW!!! I've been gone and look what happened you getting married, adopting and all in the same post LOL..sike let me stop. Well CONGRATS!!!!! WOOO HOOO I have someone else's kids to look at cause you know I ain't poppin none out soon...before you hitch we have to have drinks LOL..so we can talk about one another on our blogs hahahhahaa