A Little Bit Of This And That...

This weekend was, well, interesting.

When Massa let me leave the plantation Friday night, I was relieved as I am always bored when I work the night shift. Well not really bored but that’s when all the problems check in of course and who is there to explain why a certain room type is not available and since it was never guaranteed in the first place **People read your reservations please. I “hate” to be the one who points out that big, bold ass NOT in front of ”Guaranteed”** why do you assume that it will be once you check in?

One again, treat the front desk agents nicely and they’ll work with you. Treat them like an ass…You get the worst room in the hotel. Trust me. I have sent many of f*ckers to the room next to the ice machine and of course there isn’t another room available. Nine times out of ten it is but you’ve just pissed me off so I’m not going to work with you.

And it was hot, I was already moody and I had a headache. So you know my fangs were out in full force. And guess what…

I am the manager!

My girls call me at work and we decided to just go and hit LOVE because that’s where the Alphas were going and one of my girls fell in lust with one so she basically wanted to check up on his ass. I got home, showered, threw on one of my club ‘fits and waited until these b*tches who got off way before me had to get ready and what not. I got off of work at midnight, you got off around 7:30…And you’re not dressed because…?

Yeah, Tenacious was in a foul mood. I hate going out when I’m in a foul mood because I tend to be a real B*tch and sometimes unintentionally take it out on some poor guy. Which I did…Several times. I was not in the flirting mood tonight. While I did enjoy myself **DMX actually showed up and did not look as cracked out as he do on his show** I wasn’t my usual self. Usually I have to be the center of attention, loud, flirty, on the dance floor from the moment I step in the door. But this time, I hung back. I did drink but not to the “Detox Room” level. The drinks did loosen me up though but not enough to flirt with anyone. Surprising for me, Ms “Every Guy Is Eye Candy Dammit!” And there were some fine ass Alphas in the house.

We leave the club and drive around DC until about 5 am, basically parking lot pimping at other clubs and sh*t. I got home about 6 am and crashed. Woke up in enough time to shower…And drag my ass back to the Plantation. Turns out some Alphas were staying in my hotel. They were some cute chocolate Southern gentlemen but I didn’t really flirt too much because there were tons of people coming to the Front Desk asking questions about everything in the world.

Do I look like a map? I barely know how to get to Baltimore from my apartment let alone from my job. How the f*ck do you expect me to know where a restaurant is when you can’t even give me the name or the proper address? Umm it’s in Georgetown is not an address!

**SIGH**

I get off of work, once again at midnight, and LIGHT BRIGHT calls me. He ran into an old friend of mine. That’s right…”Stalker Number Two” aka OMAR because he looks like Omar Epps. Who, what, when and why? Apparently they know somebody who knows somebody and ended up at the same barbeque.

**SIGH**

Yeah you know OMAR had only “good” things to tell him *lol* How my name came up is pretty vague but I’m assuming it’s one of those “Oh we know someone with a mutual name…Wait does she have such and such…” and upon finding out they knew the same person, it was on and popping. Some words were said and LIGHT BRIGHT got kind of vague after that. He was rather amused but I know him. We use “amused”, “cute” and “terrible” in the same exact way. So by “amused” he meant “pissed”. LIGHT BRIGHT is crazy though. And even though I get the vibe that he’s feeling me as more than a friend, he still acts like the annoying Big Brother I never had. And boy is he like an annoying Big Brother sometimes.

Sunday morning, I get a nice rude awakening from my mother. Oh yes she was at the barbeque because she and LIGHT BRIGHT’s mother are really cool, in fact she’s cool with the whole family. Oh and she seen the drama. She gave me some grief about that. Another reason why I should trot my black ass down the aisle: To keep my ass out of trouble. The fact that I am over 700 miles away was completely lost on her.

I wonder about my moms sometimes. I’ve been drilled with “Don’t Get Pregnant before I’m married” since I was 12. Now it seems like she has a fascination with me getting knocked. What part of adoption does she not understand? I am not birthing anything! Sh*t The Discovery Channel has turned me off from birthing babies. Hell her son who is not even 20 yet has two children by two different women who have children by different men! Damn that’s like 4 grandchildren by default! Woman better leave me and my ovaries alone. I keep telling her, I’m getting married at 25, adopting by 27 and by 32, my child adopting years are over!

The boyfriend can think he’s slick all he wants but he knows I hate surprises. In fact I despise surprises. And I think the 18th is when he’s going to make his move. I’ve been snooping and I can’t find sh*t. That worries me. He usually slips up so close to the date.

Another day at the plantation. Great, now we have tennis players who barely speak English checking in. I felt like I needed a damn translator and sh*t. But some of them were kinda sexy. In like that Euro trash way. Kinda blond and lanky with those tight ass jeans on. But I guess European men are not packing because I did not see one bulge from those tight f*cking jeans. A few were Australian and I know he wasn’t Justin or anything but this guy was fine as hell and I swear the p*ssy throbbed when he spoke. I love a man with a sexy ass accent. He could have gotten it three times in the bathroom. He was a sexy little white guy. And he had on tennis whites…I think I drooled a bit. He had a pretty nice bulge in those tight ass shorts.

Monday…Why are they playing with me? Another f*cking night shift? Had to curse out an Italian player. He wanted another room key and I told him he had to show some identification. He threw a fit at the front desk.

HIM: Do you know who I am?

ME: What color is my skin?

HIM: **looking confused** Dark Brown…But wha…

ME: That means I’m Black and Black people don’t watch Tennis. You are neither Venus nor Serena and maybe if you were or at least Roddick and Agassi, then I’d know who you are. And since you’re not…You’re going to have to show me some i.d.

HIM: But do you know who I am?

ME: Do you know who I am? I’m that person who doesn’t really care. Now stop being difficult. Either show me some i.d. so you can get a key and get out my face. Or just get out of my face.

HIM: Well, I want to talk to the manager!

ME: *Smiling* Well guess what…I am the Manager! Now how may I assist you, sir?

We have a stare off for a few minutes. He finally shows his passport mumbling in Italian **I was probably all sorts of Black B*tches** and I give him a key.

Normally I’m not that difficult and I did know who he was due to some overzealous fan **The random sh*t white people knows** the night before but he had been a boil on my ass since Friday when he checked in. He’s a real DIVA and nigga it’s only one DIVA in this f*cking hotel and that’s me! Besides I like to pick and choose the people I hassle. It makes the time fly.

And since today and tomorrow are my off days **I’ve already told them I ain’t picking up my f*cking phone for the next two days so don’t f*cking call me** I plan on being a bum and laying up in my central air apartment since it’s like a f*cking slave plantation day outside. I’m slapping the first white person I see for putting my ancestors through this unnecessary heat and sh*t to pick some cotton. Another reason why I could never have been a slave because I would have gotten whipped to death. F*ck you mean I have to pick this sh*t? Nigga it’s high noon! How ‘bout this, I’ll pick my share when the sun goes down? No?! Well sh*t then Ima just call off for the rest of the day.

Peace.

I might go out when the sun goes down. Then again, I’ve already gotten bitten by mosquitoes and West Nile scares me. They love to eat my ass up and sh*t. I see f*cking OFF was a waste of my damn money.

I did see Miami Vice. Ehh I give it a C+. The movie was aiight…I guess. I like Michael Mann and I like the way he directs his films but something was missing from this one.

Chemistry.

I felt as if no one “clicked” in this movie. Jamie and Colin were like two dudes thrown together by default. I wasn’t expecting f*cking Mel Gibson and Danny Glover type of relationship but damn the two acted like they barely knew one another. Kinda like when you were forced to do a project in school with someone you didn’t know well. Like that, “I don’t f*ck with you like that but we’re going have to work together sorta if we wanna pass this class” thing.

A few random sex scenes. I did like the shot of Jamie’s booty although I don’t think Jamie is attractive. Do he smoke weed? Is that why his lips is the darkest thing on his body? And what is up with the hairline? Should the sides start near the middle of the forehead?

I liked how it wasn’t like the TV show as the TV show was kinda lame and I couldn’t picture Jamie and Colin in pastel suits and sh*t but I would have like to see some shots of Miami. Without the palm trees that sh*t could have been shot in Detroit during the summer.

The plot was kinda vague. I followed it but damn a little background information could have been nice. Even though they were “thrown” into the case, I guess they must have read all the briefing and sh*t because they jumped right into the action. Sure would have been nice to read those briefings as well. A few scenes lost me completely.

I did not like the ending. Too abrupt.

But the cinema shots were excellent, I liked a lot of the imagery **aside from not showing a lot of Miami**, I enjoyed the scarce action because I hate action movies were sh*t is just blown the f*ck up every two seconds, it takes more than a few car chases to drag me into a movie, the action was well placed and appropriate to me.

It was just a decent movie. If you’re expecting it be like the tv show, don’t waste your money. It’s nothing like the show.