I Hate Being A Girl *Sometimes*....

Today I’m in a grumpy place.

I’m working at night *cringes*

Aunt Flo has decided to drop in on me a fucking week early. I’m not complaining considering the alternative but dammit I was not expecting you for another week. Just threw a damn monkey wrench into my plans.

Fucking Direct Loans. I loathe you. Oh your website might be fixed on the 1st? But I can still mail my payment in huh? Just my name, bank information and social security number just all out there on a check huh? Just make it a little bit easy for the identity thefters *lol that’s not even a word is it?* to snatch up and ruin the credit that I have worked too damn hard for.

Fucking attack cat has been on the rampage. Why the hell did the cat gnaw up one of my damn thongs? I found the shit under our vents along with my eye drops, a bite size Reese Cup, and one of my Hello Kitty key chains. Fucking thong was gnawed to shreds, if I didn’t see the Victoria Secret’s tag in the back I would have sworn it was an old rag. So not only is the cat an attack cat but a pack rat and a damn thief. He is so lucky I watch Animal Police and I know they wouldn’t hesitate to put my ass on blast for beating the shit out the cat.

Did I mention I’m just generally grumpy around this time of the month? And it’s not like I suffer from cramps or anything because I don’t. I take a one Tylenol and I’m straight the entire 4 days. The Lord know what he was doing, he knows I’m a punk on pain. I act like I am stabbed from a paper cut, finger just gauzed up like it was chopped off or something. Which of course lets you know when I do drop a seed, I plan on being drugged to the max. Damn that, I’ll inject myself. Me and the baby glassy eyed and high like a muthafucker.

I hate when people hang up in my face. How rude. The old me would call back and spaz the fuck out. The new me is like fuck it, bitch you’ll call me before I call you. Don’t be mad because I’m not trying to hear you before 8 am.

Yeah yeah I’ll be a bad friend.

My best friend is talking about she wants some Jordans for her birthday. Um bitch I don’t buy my own Jordans what makes you think I’m going to search on the internet for yours? And stop biting off of me, damn. *lol* Yes I did finally find my Jordans thanks to LIGHT BRIGHT he put me on to this website that sells AUTHENTIC Retro Jordans and some of those prices are out there, I wish I would pay $425 for some fucking shoes, and folks sure do buy them, shit buy mine then. So my shoes are being shipped to me as we speak. Gosh that man of mine spoils me. I have whined about them enough.

I said I’ll think about it.
I’m still grumpy though.

I hate being woken up early for nothing.

But you know good old DRAMA. Always has a story to tail. Um just because you have an 8 am class does not mean I have an 8 am class. I know we haven’t talked in a few weeks but um could you have called me after 10 am?

And everyone knows about the engagement. I wasn’t aware I had to give personal phone calls to everyone to announce the news. And besides I texted your dumb ass. And it’s on Face Book, bitch check the profile and not the pictures!

Speaking of which, I need to update my pictures. I have loads of pictures on the computer, I’m just being a lazy ass bum. I’m a camera whore so I’m always taking pictures so it shouldn’t be any reason on why I have this old ass picture from three years ago up. *lol*

And I also noticed I send an obnoxious amount of pictures to people from my phone. Obnoxious. I’ll just be taking pictures walking down the street and sending it to people. Nostrils just all up in the pictures and shit. I know people think I’m narcissistic. I’m preening for the camera, smiling and shit, just walking down the street. I know they’re thinking, “This Conceited Bitch…That’s why she almost tripped nah!” I do not need a camera phone obviously. I’m going to use it for a greater good…showcasing the hot ass messes in the Washington DC Metro Area. It’s still hot as hell here so the bears are still out and lurking. I still wish I had gotten my ideal breasts on camera.

So I’m going to stop sending folks pictures. I was looking in LIGHT BRIGHT’s phone *one of few guys who just let me snoop all up in their phone and shit, well we ain’t fucking so I guess he figures he doesn’t have anything to hide* and I have sent him at least, randomly, about 20-30 pictures. He has pictures that I’ve forgotten that I’ve taken and they were cute so you know I had to send them back to my phone *lol* Um yeah discovered his, um, porn collection as well. I guess that’s what hot out in the streets I guess but um yeah females should only highlight the good features and not the bad. I mean I know I have a few stretch marks on the butt but got damn…one girl had the entire beltway on her ass….I was like “photoshop” boo.

I’ve been guilty of the same crime so I guess I can’t rag on the girls too much although, um why would you send out a picture of your, um, vaginal muscle? In fact why would you want your phone that close to, um, that area? I might send the random “look at my cute panties baby maybe you should come home and rip them off” picture but I’m not to reach that scale. An occasionally booby picture here and there which usually is followed by “what the hell is that?” which of course is followed by the “middle finger” picture.

And even then I’m shy, I demand that it’s erased from the phone.

Or at least if you’re going to use the pictures for bad, heighten up the breasts, ok? Photo shop my shit or something.

I’m starting to feel much better.

We’ll see what this work day brings me.