I Smell A Fun Friday Coming On...

After wearing a pony tail for close to a week I decided to drag my black ass to the salon to get my “hair did” because I am trying hard to break out of the “ponytail” **meaning with my real hair no artificial preservatives here yall** because, well, I look super young with a pony tail. At least 17 *lol*

I decided not to drive today as I am lazy and I’m waiting until my boyfriend fills the tank so I can just wear it down *lol* Hey better his money than mine. I take the metro and I swear the Addison Road Metro stop has to be the ghettoiest stop ever! And damn I’m from Chicago where all of the Red Line is basically ghetto. Especially the ones from 35th to 95th.

Nothing but Black people at this stop. I guess this is where all the winos, bums, and just shiftless lazy Negros hang. Niggas are like vultures at this stop, I had to curse out two dudes before I even made it off the train. Then another when I was walking to the bus stop. Stop touching my damn hand, I don’t know where they been!

While waiting for the bus, two men were about to fight…Over $6. I don’t why one guy owed the other $6 but they were about to scrape…After arguing for close to 20 minutes on why one should give up the $6 before he makes it $10. *sigh* Black people. They were working my nerves so bad, I started to just give the nigga $6 so they could go about their business but I thought about it and a good, “Yall need to shut the f*ck up” was suffice.

What, yall thought I was a punk? Only around bugs people.

Sh*t it was hot and the damn bus driver decided, “Oh I’m here early so let me park the bus in the shade with the A.C. and let me go to sleep” so I waited for close to an hour for the bus. And I thought CTA was notoriously late. He finally pulled up, wiping slob off the corner of his mouth, everyone’s mad because it was hot as sh*t out and damn he could at least parked the bus a block away and not less than 20 feet away from us. I get to the shop and oh my goodness, two times in a row, I’m out in less than 3 hours. One hour and fifteen minutes later I’m leaving the salon with my hair freshly done and about three inches hacked off. Yes, my lovely hard earned bra strap length hair has been reduced to just above my shoulder. And I’ve regained my treasured bangs. Bangs keep me from slicking my hair into a pony tail all the time, so wish me luck.

**sniff sniff** R.I.P Tenacious Hair.

I had to watch her to make sure she didn’t get “scissor happy” as some beauticians tend to do. Yeah that’s nice, ok that part of the hair will just have to be damaged you’re not to cut all my sh*t. Actually my hair is full and thick and I maintain it very well. I’m sorry the relaxer is not leaving my scalp anytime soon. Dark and Lovely is my best friend. I’ll never let another person put one in my hair though and I wish I would pay $45 for someone to place a relaxer in my hair. You mean that $6 box that I can put in my hair while watching House on TV and still get the same results and mine last longer? Yeah aiight, gone somewhere with that noise. My hair is also very healthy for relaxed hair. I’m lazy when it comes to actually combing my hair but I maintain it nicely.

But when I felt her scissors a little close to my ear you know I had to wrench around **BTW Isis you are a damn fool, ah one of my favorites jokes from Kings of Comedy. Funny, my mother says “wrench” all the time and I die laughing every single time** and wrench for the mirror to make sure she wasn’t trying to get me a “Chinese Prostitute” look. But dammit, I look good as sh*t.

As usual.

Yesterday my co-workers and I went out to dinner in Georgetown. Yeah 6 black people roaming around Georgetown after dark. White folks didn’t know how to act. We’re the only blacks in the bar and I swear they clapped when we left. And commenced to turning on “Achy Breaky Heart” as we departed the bar. Police looking at us all suspicious. I didn’t care because I had on my running shoes that day. B*tch will get loose on folks. I am too pretty for jail.

It started off with everyone from my department and the RM of our hotel but folks were getting a little too twisted so they started to leave. White folks are hilarious after getting a little wine in their systems. Telling all their personal business and sh*t like it ain’t nothing. And you know I was taking notes. I found out there are two gay men that I work with. I was trying to give them the benefit of the doubt when I first started there but now that I know it’s confirmed that “it’s raining men” I’m like “Damn”. From what I hear one has a fine ass boyfriend. And so it begins… So I watched the two and as they loosened up with alcohol, the limp wrist that I tried to ignore **maybe he has a sprained wrist or something**, lisp **speech impediment maybe** and hands on the hip with the hip thrust out began to rear its ugly head. One girl looked and me and was like, “T, how did you not know?” I’m like, “Hey I’m the newbie here, and I don’t like to call folks out. I was making excuses myself but umm yeah them niggas gay”. Nothing against gay men of course, I heart them but Ima need them to stop taking all the sexy ones. Just a memo to pass on at the next meeting.

Then come the assault from lesbians. Yesterday and today I have been hit on three times by women. Do I really look like I have those tendencies? I gag at the site of uncooked meat **well-done please** so you know damn sure raw fish is not on my f*cking menu! I like my own breasts not yours! I guess I have to bust out the “I heart Penis” t-shirt. Damn take one LGBT pin on Quad day **sh*t I didn’t know what the f*cking rainbow meant, I was 18 and from the hood. Only rainbows I saw was in f*cking Skittles commercials** and wear it and folks think you’re gay. It was a cute little pin too until it was pointed out to me by an upperclassman who was trying to hit on me at the time. **shudder** Today one got out the car and damn near demanded I “upped them digits”. Once again, I had my running shoes on today. And she was a big b*tch too. Lurking over me like Deebo and sh*t. Luckily my bus came, I was on the bus so fast I damn near tripped up the steps.

In Georgetown one was winking at me and sh*t. I thought something was wrong with her eye and offered her some eye drops. I thought maybe her contact lens needed rewetting or something. A skinny little white girl too. I gave her that “B*tch is you crazy” look while my co-workers died laughing. She got all embarrassed and was like she saw me and my girl holding hands and assumed I was into girls. No me and her were holding each other up to keep from falling out on the pavement because she was laughing at these fantabolous guys who sashayed by us and gave us that “We’re fierce” looks. Only us two people watch and just burst into spontaneous laughter. Like that you look and someone and know exactly what they’re thinking? We both were thinking, “Bobby Trendy” from the “Anna Nicole Show” and his “Three words—Fab-U-Lous”.

Yeah my 15 year old side was clearly out yesterday.

Tonight I’m supposed to go to a comedy club out in Laurel. John Witherspoon is supposed to headline.

Well hair is tight, nails and toes are freshly polished and I have fun little sundress to wear. It’s going to be a fun night.

Oh and did I mention I’m off Tuesday through Friday? I’m just working this weekend and Monday. And it’s all daytime! I just see guests asses when they are checking the f*ck out and they can’t curse you out long because they have flights to catch. Goodie for me. Maybe God isn’t punishing me just yet.

I mean my mother’s sperm donor and I are not on speaking terms right now. Can you see the smile on my face? I know it’s not going to last long though. The boil always comes back for more.

And I’m taking some vacation time and going home for a week or so. Fun times in Chicago in about two weeks. All the home cooked meals, turn down service courtesy of my nephew who loves to do chores **poor child, he’ll grow out of it**, and best of all, no work! Now if only I can keep my stalkers alert system from activating when I come into town.

Have a fantastic weekend everyone