As Long As It's Live, B-Ball Isn't That Bad...

Wednesday I finally broke down and went to a sporting event.

AND did not fall asleep during it!

I was dragged *dragging my feet but not too much, they were new boots after all* to the Wizards v. Bulls game.

Which wasn’t half bad never mind the fact that I was asking “Who is that?” every five minutes because I didn’t recognize any one from either team. And course I had to have the terms explained to me, I had no idea what they were talking about.

I was not playing when I said I am not sports savvy at all.

Although…Etan Thomas could get three times in the bathroom right quick. How come no one told me that sexy speciman of a man is roaming DC begging to get raped by me in a dark alley? That is one sexy man. Had to wipe the drool every time he got on the court.

And he looks smart. Not all slacked jawed and borderline like some athletes look. I heard he writes children's books? Is that true?

See...I'm going to have to join the ranks of stalker.

Although I don't see the big deal about Gilbert Arenas. He looks...a little off to me. Can't put my finger on it but something about him looks a tad bit...well off.

And I was mad the Bulls lost. I still have hometown pride you know. I felt like they just gave that game away.

And the game seem much shorter when watching it live action rather than on the television. Must be all the damn commercials. The first quarter was boring though, I did have to fight off sleep because it was sooo boring. Thankfully it passed quickly.

When not asking questions, I was laughing at the goofs who were climbing over chairs only to get their leg stuck in between the seats and falling forward.

I guess only JBN and I find comedy in people spilling their $7 cup of beer *Highway Robbery if you ask me, I wish I would pay $7 for ONE cup of beer. Isn’t that a 6 Pack?* all over themselves, only to curse and turn around to get another one.

Not to mention the drunk fans. I mean really, is it serious? Folks just wilding out in the stands and judging by how high we were and the slopes of those steps, getting slapped should not have been an option because one slip and your shit is bound to be all fucked up.

You’re breaking an arm, leg, neck…something.

But you know folks don’t care. They’re wobbling up the steps and shit and you know me, I’ll laugh if someone slip and fall.

It couldn’t be me though because I know if I paid that much money for a damn cup of beer not a drop is falling out of that cup.

BUT I am not foolish enough to risk a broken bone trying to save that beer.

And I found out something that was very amusing to me: White People Don’t Play When It Comes To Their Seats At A Sporting Event.

They don’t hope. They wish a motherfucker would be in their seats. They get as crunk as well…Black Folks.

We sat in the wrong section by mistake and some white dudes tried to get gangsta over some fucking seats?!

I mean, we’re all in the cheap seats. It’s not like you could see the game any better than where we were seating. Dudes were acting like we’re at the court yard and shit.

But since we were in the wrong, we moved. It’s not like we sat there on purpose, we sat in the wrong section.

I'm telling you, we're losing our grip. White folks just are not scared of black people anyone. Ok well old white ladies still clutch their pearls when I hop into the elevator and one day I just want to jump at one and scare the shit out of her but I don't want to go to jail because she have a stroke or something.

Nigga Fo’ and Five…Fo’ and Five

But I was surprised on how much I enjoyed myself at the game. I mean I didn’t pay that much attention besides molesting Etan with my eyes but I had a great time.

I might even go to the Knicks game next week. Maybe. I think I have to work.

But damn the line for the women’s bathroom. I was doing “The Dance” by the time I found a bathroom so I ducked into the Men’s Bathroom.

Desperate times calls for desperate measures.

I only got a few strange looks *and some cuppage so I couldn’t see the goods* but no one made a big deal.

I couldn't do it. Not today. And there were littlt girls in line and you know you still have to line the toilet with toilet paper so they won't get the "butt clap" but that takes too damn long because they can't hover yet and I know little girls take too long in the bathroom and I would've peed on myself.

*LOL my mother told me some foolishness when I was a child and I was terrified of using public bathroom because I thought I would get the butt clap. Never mind to this day I have no idea what the fuck butt clap *or trenchmouth* pertains to but I still avoid using the washroom in public*

And fuck what you heard I still believe you can get something from a toilet seat.

We ledt with 5 minutes left in the 4th to beat the rush of people.

Made it home in enough time to catch Family Guy and got some sleep.