Blond Moments...

I know I don’t have not a blond hair on my head…at least not anymore *Bad Ass Perm*…But I sure do have Dumb Blond moments.

Take the time I went up to the wrong car, hit the “Unlock” button and I was puzzled when nothing happened. Tried to put the key in the door, key wouldn’t turn. So I get mad and starting yelling and beating on the car *like that was going to do something*…only to hear someone calling my name. JBN is looking at me like I’m crazy.
…Why was I at the wrong car? Same make, model and color of the car…but with Maryland plates.
…Embarrassed I slunk away to our car with my head down while JBN is rolling. He must have teased me for a week.

Or the numerous times I’m pushing on a door…when it says “Pull”. And I’m always getting mad as hell at the door, like it’s the door’s fault I can’t read.

And the time I walked right into the door.
…Ok that one was kind of not my fault. I was reading and walking at the same time, looked up to see a guy holding the door open for me, I guess I took too long to get to the door so he let it go but I’m still looking down at the book…walked right into the door.
…Complete with that “thoink” noise so everyone looked up.
…I couldn’t even play that one off.

Or how about the time I was on the elevator and I’m pressing the button wondering why the elevator isn’t going down
…Tell me why I was pressing the button for my floor instead of “Lobby”?
…Even got my ass off the elevator to inspect the buttons…
…And it still took me a minute to realize WHY the elevator still wasn’t working?!

I’ve gone to the wrong apartment thinking it’s mine and had the nerve to get indignant with the person who answered the door like it’s their fault I’m virtually trying to break into their apartment.

I’ve blanked out on the simplest tasks, like learning to tie my shoes. I’ve stared in puzzlement as I’ve tried to remember what the hell I was trying to do.

Man and last week…Why did I get trapped in the bathroom stall? How the HELL do you get locked in a place? And I was a struggling sister with that door.
…And I’ll be damned if I crawl under the door. And put my hands and knees on a public bathroom’s floor?! Not to mention fuck up my jeans?! Have dust and shit on my knees, folks would swear up and down I was sucking some dick in the bathroom.

I know I know…laugh.

I do it all the damn time.

My friends and I say ”Cole…You stooo-pid…” when an overwhelmingly blond moment occurs to one of us because we’re completely random like that. Use random references and such.

We’re not blond when it comes to random pop culture facts and the random quote but let one of us get locked out the house on our own accord…Blond for days.

Am I the only one at least one blond moment a day?