Unsolicated Mess...

I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T

…Well what do you know? Rappers can spell. And *gasp* might actually know the definition. Although I had NO idea what the hell they were spelling or even talking about at first.

Then again do I ever know what rappers are spelling or talking about?

Of course you know I got chuckles out of this song…I’m like what is this…the Ghetto Chick “independent woman” song?

…and then again this is a friend’s ring tone which is how I first heard the mess in the first place. Not to mention the song assault my eats every time I turn on the radio. Killing part is she’s about as independent as one of my fingers.

…How are you independent and yet still live with your mother and have no job?

Ok the other day I’m checking one of my personal email accounts at work *shut up*, see an email from SIGMA and although I’m tempted to just delete it, which is what I usually do since he’s not talking about anything but this time I decided to open it to see what the hell he wanted.

Tell me why there is a HUGE picture of his dick with the message “It wants to taste you”.

I about died from embarrassment because due to ongoing renovations at my property we’re all corralled into one general space and I mean this was a BIG ass picture of a dick, a hard long erect BLACK dick, completely engulfing my screen and folks couldn’t help but smirk and give me the side eye.

And like I said we’re about as un-“PC” as you can get.

So while I’m frantically trying to X the screen I’m getting jokes all around about my “porn” addiction, JBNs and I sex life and the such. And when I mentioned it was actually my ex’s penis and JBN sends shots like that straight to the cell phone, a couple of girls were like, well can I have his number then?

…And even today the jokes just keep rolling in. This is going into the infamous “Office” stories folder.

Granted he has a very nice dick but…umm yeah…I’m going to need him to utilize the CC format when emailing lewd pictures.

I’m just saying don’t send the SAME picture you have sent to other girls. It was like 25 email addresses on the “to” line.

I was like Damn so you’re just that lazy huh, just send the same email and wait for a reply huh? What ever happened to discretion when trying to be a player? Thirsty ass.

…And yes later on I went back home and looked at the picture again and noticed that *lol*. I may not like the man attached to the penis but damn if I don’t like the penis attached to the man. *lol*

…Ok and I am a pervert.

And yes I showed my “roomie” since she is NOT convinced of this man’s craziness. And ever the pervert like me, she’s like “Well I wouldn’t still call that crazy but *looks closer at the screen* but damn G…he does have a nice dick though. I mean that shit is really nice…Is it real?!”

…I told her if she wanted walls looser than what they already were *lol* she’s more than happy to tangle with him. I don’t need King Dangalang…the Prince will do just fine…Hell the Duke can do the job as well. I don’t need a dick that doubles as a kick stand. A super huge dick in my book will get you the infamous “leg cramp” stunt and a quick deletion from my phone book. *lol*

While I’m not keen on passing along my sloppy seconds and thirds because well...they’re my sloppy seconds and thirds and I’m like a weirdo when it comes to stuff like that because I’m not too concerned about who a man sleeps with before me you know as long as she was disease free but if it’s someone I know…that’s just disgusting because all I’m thinking about is “I know this guy ate [insert name] pussy and they probably fucked and I’ll be damned if he kisses me on the mouth or I give him head…”

…But of course he’s free to use his mouth on my lower regions only *lol*

…I know. I am the biggest hypocrite in the world *lol*

I told JBN about it, ok well he caught us giggling into the monitor, and just like the person he is, he’s like, “Well if you’re so insulted…Why yall all up in the screen?”

…Like that is the point. I hate when he’s like, logical, and stuff. *lol*

Always thinking and shit *lol*

After giggling a few more times like I’m 15 sneaking and watching a dirty movie, I went ahead and deleted the stupid thing.
...and by deleted I mean transferred to another email account *lol*

Lesson of the day: Don’t send me unsolicited penis shots unless you want me to show it to all of my friends and we laugh and dissect your treasured body part.

I mean at least ask me or something, like "Ten...you mind if I send you this shot of a penis you will never get..." So I can at least "Sure lemme see.." or "Nah Bruh I'm straight...you look like you're not working with anything...why waste the time"

…I mean jeez I’m almost a married woman. I shouldn't be looking at another man's penis in the first place, I mean outside of porn that is because you know they're, like, not really people you know so that makes it ok. However...

*looks at phone*

Maybe JBN will be inspired to send me more naked pictures.

…Now he can send me all the shots he wants. Thank god for the memory card *wink*