The Shit Has Hit The Fan....Pt 1

Thursday is when everything went haywire.

My Thursday started off nice enough. I work up early so I could get to the shop early to get my hair done because I was not trying to spend the entire day in the hair shop. And besides my hair was looking like Sophia’s from The Color Purple. I was expecting Squeak to pop around the corner asking, “Harpo…Who dis woman?”

Ok I’m exaggerating. It wasn’t looking that bad but wearing ponytails makes me look younger than I really am. And besides I am trying to break out of wearing ponytails every time I’m too lazy to go to the shop.

Ummm yeah…I got in at 11. Did not leave the shop until close to 4 pm.

Of course it was the variety shop where a little bit of everything goes. Just a bunch of women *and of course the token gay male stylist* gossiping, eating, doing hair and basically giving her *and his* opinion on basically everything such as:

Halle Berry is probably not good in bed and she’s probably one of those dinky broads who deserve to get hit.

She also looks like she has stalker tendencies.

Mary J Blige’s husband is cheating on her. But Mary isn’t happy unless she’s miserable anyway.

All Rappers wives are dumb as hell, they know their husbands have slept with Super Head so stop fronting.

Videos are so over rated ever since BET Uncut went off the air.

Everyone wants to be Jamaican all of a sudden.

And just a whole bunch of other randomness even though the argument/almost fist fight over who was the prettiest girl in the house on Flavor of Love almost killed me. According to consensus, “Beautiful” was the prettiest until she was booted, now it’s “Krazy” followed by “Bootz” who reminded one girl of a chick she went to high school with and come to think of it maybe they’re the same person and wouldn’t that be funny?

*Um no*

What finally did me in was the transvestite hair dresser who took his/her wig off and proceeded to braid some little effeminate dude hair with more lisp than a little bit and a sashay that would make Naomi whack him with a cell phone. I’m dozing under the dryer and I spot him/her putting crimps *yes don’t say it I was like Who the hell rocks 1992 crimps today?” and I will admit he/she was doing the damn thing.
Until he/she took his/her falsies out and set them next to the curlers talking about the tape was making his breasts itch.
And no one batted an eye but me.

I took a picture and everything but oh course my phone decided to crash and went back to the factory setting.

He sure was raw though I will give him that. If the face wasn’t so hard looking he could have passed for a pretty decent female. But of course when you keep your gear and hair tight that automatically boosts up your “cute” factor just a smig. Face could look you got bust in the face with a bag of nickels but if you keep yourself up you could either be moved up to “aiight” or “he/she is ugly but…[insert nice feature]”

After finally dragging my ass out of the salon, hair nice and bouncy, I head home only to come home to chaos. My intentions were to grab my bag and head out the door to the hotel because my fiancé flight was due in at 7:30 at Midway and already it was after five. But my mother wanted to run a few errands with her and like she tends to do she tends to give out an obnoxious amount of directions and instruction. I wanted to scream BITCH I know how to pick out a relaxer and get some stamps from the Currency Exchange!

And then I was on the phone arguing with a customer service representative who tried to tell me my Smart Card did not have any money on it which was a damn lie because anytime the amount on the card goes under $10 it automatically charges my credit card $10. And I knew this by looking up my Smart Card account on line.
That took close to a half hour to sort out.

Then I had to snap on LIGHT BRIGHT right quick because his face was tight because I was going to the hotel to be with my fiancé. We’re cool and all but last time I checked we were not fucking. So why are you getting mad? It’s not like we had plans or anything and if we did, my man comes first. Upset because we had plans for Friday. Um yeah today’s Thursday and like I said I’ll do what I want.

He’s starting to get really possessive and I don’t like that shit. I don’t like it at all. I don’t like for people to ask me 90 million questions about what I’m doing and who I’m with. I felt like it was a Law & Order: CI episode and shit.
He had thoroughly pissed me off so he met the dial tone and I refused to answer his calls or texts the entire night. You ain’t my man and I ain’t your chick.
We had a blast Thursday. I met him at the airport looking glossy and fine. Checked into the hotel and went out to eat at a restaurant near the hotel. I see the little punk every day but I missed him. I was surprised by how much I missed him.
Damn we’re some cakes now! We’re hugging and kissing in the airport like some lames.

*disgusted sigh*

Let’s just say I had a good time in that hotel room.

*wink wink*

We got to the hotel room and I realized I left my charger at home so guess whose battery died and I was left without my cell phone?
I was too pissed. What the hell am I supposed to do without my cell phone? That damn phone is an extension of me! Who the hell was I going to text to?
And besides I don’t like being without my phone.
Friday I went out with my godson’s mother and we went to Bar Louie’s where we got toasted. I haven’t been to Bar Louie’s for a minute so I was excited to go. The scene was a little too professional for my taste but I still had a great time.

Stumbled home and was in a deep sleep when the fiancé called me and asked did I want to come over to his place…like old times. I mean it was booty call hours *lol*
And I did have liquor in my system….*lol*

Saturday is when some bullshit popped off.