Weekend Roundup...

Let’s see…an uneventful weekend.

Some guy called me an “ignorant twerp” as I stood in line at McDonalds. Can I help it if I did not want your phone number? I should have been honored *his words* to have his phone number.

*lol*

Eh, I have been called worse. I just laughed and sipped my sweet tea. By the way, I do not know what type of crack they are putting in the tea *like Starbucks* but I am addicted to that damn tea! I flipped out yesterday because the McDonalds around my apartment ran out. How the fuck you run out of ice and what the hell does that have to do with my tea?

Do men realize insults will not get you the number any more than showering me with compliments? He’s was not cute anyway and he touched me. Negro when I am in my Justin-induced trance do not bother me! And here this nigga, acting like he’s the Prince of Zamunda, but looking more like Pookie from New Jack City trying to holla at me and tried to be slick and cut in front of me in line.
Nigga had better get way the fuck back if he thinks he is coming between Justin and my sweet tea.

FH called me a “jerk” Saturday. Can I help if I do not like that girl and I refuse to spend a Sunday at Great America with her and her annoying ass boyfriend? I know she’s cool with TWIN and FOOL and next weekend will be their birthday weekend but I cannot stand being more than 5 minutes in that girl’s presence. She has an annoying ass voice, an annoying laugh and she’s goofy as all outdoors and when I, Duchess of Goofiness, says someone is goofy, that bitch is goofy. Ok I said a few other mean things but shit FH’s one to talk.

And yes, heifer…I’m talking about you. You dead ass wrong for telling that boy that.

Friday a leak sprung at the job since it was pouring outside. I know one thing, a drop of water better not had hit this freshly relaxed hair of mine. And of course, stupid questions were sure to follow. We sprung a leak over the front desk *oh goody* so folks who were coming in out of the rain would look at the bucket, look at me, and ask, ”Is it raining outside?”

*cricket chirp*

Didn’t you just come from outside? So why ask that dumb ass question?
Stupid questions irritate me. One of my top pet peeves.

My father *oh yes the infamous father made a phone appearance this weekend* told me I was “immature”.

*sigh* We’ve been over this before. Please stop pointing out the obvious to me, as if I do not know I am immature. You did not have to waste a phone call to tell me that one. I knew that already!

However, this time I am being immature because of the “cousin thing”. It’s amazing to me in my family how bad news travel across the sides of the family like wild fires but good news is held tightly within the respective families. If I didn’t know better I would think someone is trying to taint my pure image with my father’s side of the family. To them, I am the “sweetest little thing in the world”. I’ve always made excellent grades **hey hey no one saw my grades in college, I stand by that one**, no behavior problems, always kept my nose clean…you know just a general all around good kid. Soft spoken *ha!*, articulate *grandmother is a retired schoolteacher no Ebonics around her*, and a quiet girl *which you know is a damn lie* is generally how his side of the family sees me. I know a fucking lie right? But I do my best to keep up this image with them, I mean gosh they don’t need to be exposed to the side of me that the mother’s side gets…a rude, loud mouth, mean bitch who lays the pimp hand down. No matter how much negative things about me trickle from that side of the family, the father’s side is staunch in preserving my image.

*sigh* That poor family of mine.

Now what’s amusing to me is that this cousin and I have not spoken a word in about three years. Not an eyelid blinked from the family. They are well aware of why we stopped fucking with each other. It’s one thing for a friend to stab you in the back, but family? And damn I thought blood was thicker than water. The only good thing that came out of it was that her reputation as a pathological liar preceded her so luckily not many people believed her but she was trying to wreck my friendships with people because of some petty jealousy issue she has with me, which is a joke in itself. I am the last person anyone should be jealous of but you can’t tell her that.

I mean can I help it if I graduated from college in four years, moved away from home so I’m not living up in my mama’s place, have a job that gives me some sort of spending money because I don’t blow my cash on hosting elaborate dinners, shopping sprees, and other miscellaneous bullshit that have me crying broke the day after payday.

That child is just twisted. I love her as family but as a person I can’t stand her. I limit my contact with her but apparently she has been “oh so sick that we’re not talking” **Bitch deserves an Oscar for the role she has been portraying** and just making up lies like how she would call me and I would call her out of her name and hang up on her. A damn lie since…WE HAVENT TALKED IN OVER THREE YEARS! But she has a nice consensus of the family thinking that I’m being a total bitch *not a real stretch of imagination for her to portray that image* and of course I guess the fact that majority of them know we haven’t spoken in years and the reason is just all of a sudden lost on them.

So somehow this has gotten back to my father and I’ll just blame my blabbermouth Aunt who stays in everyone’s business as if it’s hers for bringing up a dead issue and awakening the sleeping dragon. So he calls to tell me I’m being immature about the whole thing and I should let bygones be bygones.

Umm when did I start listening to you again? Riiight…I don’t. I guess these damn memos have been skipping me and shit. They must be going to the “Like I Give A Shit” department.

I don’t like liars. I can’t say that enough. A liar is an automatic cross off in my book. And yes I hold fucking grudges. The worst thing ever us for someone to get on my bad side. The very worst. I might not remember what I had on last week but I damn sure can remember when someone has done something to hurt me. Some of my grudges I will admit are petty and if I weren’t a stubborn person I would have apologized a long time ago. And then there are some which I will never get over. And hers in unforgivable.

My father sure knows how to ruin a good thing. Of course, insert random Bible scriptures and a half hour lecture that ended with him calling me “immature”.
*sigh* And he wonders how am I going to be responsible enough to get married when I still act like a child. Shit I don’t know either, we’ll find out in 2008 now won’t we?

Damn. I love my family but those muthafuckers work my last nerves sometimes! It’s like damn why do I always have to be the bigger person? Why do I have to be the leader out the bunch? I am not a role model! *lol* I’m just smarter about my shit! The fucked up shit that I do just doesn’t get back to the family! I don’t broadcast my business! It’s as simple as that.

It’s a shame all the hating that goes on in my family. Can I help if I practice birth control? I’m sorry if I didn’t have 5 kids by 6 men by the time I was 21. Excuse me for wanting to graduate from high school without breast-feeding a baby as I walked across the stage. I can’t help if I want more for myself than being Rayshawn’s “baby’s mama” like that is some sort of prize I should strive for. Damn it s terrible when members of your own family try to tear you down. And folks wonder why I only talk to certain members of my family.

Oh yeah MR. FANTASTIC, don’t think because you spanked me in a few games of dominos that shit is sweet. I demand a rematch! I cant help if we only play with the 12’s! I should’ve done one of my people’s patent moves and flipped the table over. It’s all good though, you distracted me with School Daze. Yup that’s my story and I’m sticking to it…

I enjoyed my weekend even though I did not do anything productive. How was the weekend front for every one else?

Any BBQs for Labor Day? Sorry, Midwesterners say “BBQ”, I’ll leave the “cook out” term for my true Southern people. If there are some in the DC area….Ummm yeah please invite me *lol* No one I know is cooking talking about some “back to school” foolishness. Bitch yall aint even in school!

On Friday I go on a week long vacation to Chicago *I know did I not just bring my black ass back from Chicago* so you know hilarious results are pending for that entire week. I’ll try to keep everyone post but my mother refuses to invest in the internet and we all know I’m a second from being banned from public libraries *Um hello porn is a legitimate subject to search for* so I'll write when I can.