Cast of Characters in my Life...

Just for you Jules a composite of some of the people whom I mention in my blog. Shit sometimes I get their alias mixed up *lol* So sue me I'm like a week late *lol*

**Folks that are in my inner circle, I spend majority of my time talking with these people**

JBN---the fiancé. Dick piece and sometimes pain in my ass. Our relationship is weird to the point that I can’t even describe it to people but it works. He’s been in the game almost 5 years and despite setbacks he’s still around to pick up the pieces in my crazy ass life.

TWIN- Best friend #1. I call her “TWIN” because we have the same name, thus idiots think we’re twins. Go figure. The only thing we share besides our name is height and skin color. TWIN also has a really soft baby voice that would be irritating if I haven’t know her for a long time. But don’t let it fool you, bitch can get gully when she wants to.

FH-Best friend #2. Currently stationed in Iraq. She’s my “go to” chick because she keeps in real. I talk to her more than anyone because, well, she knows my ass a little too well sometimes. She’s my rock and I’m glad that I know her. Think she’s the shit because she’s gotten some D Cups over the past two years and she’s light skinned. Don’t she know chocolate is in, with her fake Creole ass *lol*

FOOL-Male best friend #3. I’ve known him since high school and folks thought we were fucking when we first started hanging with one another but um yeah we butt heads entirely too much to bump genitals. Thus no romantic interest although the conceited side of me thinks he wants my ass. Love this man like a brother and I won’t hesitate to check a bitch over my guy. Called “FOOL” because well he is a fool. An intelligent one but none the less, a fool.

G-Male best friend #4. Openly gay man who is a walking oxymoron. Looking at him you would not think he was gay. So serious. This nigga is gully 24/7. It’s kinda nasty thinking of him getting it on with other men but I’ve known him for so long it’s not even a second thought. Although if he did wander back over from the dark side I might have to give him a little play. Can be found smashing anything that moves no shame in his game. Always keeps it real and knows somebody who knows somebody so I can always count on him for a good hook up. To be fair, I kick it with him more than the other three because well they’re still a little leery on his lifestyle. Shit I don’t care as long as he ain’t checking for my man…and my man ain’t checking for him.

**Friends…But eh that could change depending on mood…**

Godson’s Mother-I never have the time to give her an alias but the name is self-explanatory. Usually calls to tell me I’m a horrible friend and god mother or to grip about her no-good baby daddy. When in Chicago I spend a lot of time with this heifer and my adorable ass god son who current is saved as a screen saver. Love her but at the same time I know she got a little bit of "trif" in her.

DH-Friend from high school. We only became cool really because of her now husband who was my dominoes partner in high school. They married right out of high school and currently have two children but her islander husband wants more. She calls me from time to time to whine about married life and how she doesn’t want anymore children but is too scared to open her mouth and got upset because I told her to sneak and take the shot if she’s so afraid. Problems solved, let him think your ass is sterile. I personally think she’s fucking another dude but whatever. By the way DH stands for “Desperate Housewife” because I think she is one. Probably humping the mailman as we speak *lol*

DRAMA- Another friend from high school whom stays in some shit. Has a very bad habit of sleeping with men who have significant others and gets mad when the shit blows up in her face and guess who she calls for advice that she never uses? Have gotten us into some shit over the years. She’s part of the reason I don’t go to the Westside in the Chi anymore because the last time we were there we had to run for our lives. Besides that very bad flaw, actually a sweet and funny person….when she’s not creating some mess.

JAMROCK-One of my girls from college. One of my room mates junior year whom she had to stop me from putting my foot up another room mate’s ass for stealing our rent and utility money *long story*. One of my K-Sweet sisters as well although we don’t claim it anymore. Used to be my partner in crime as the Kappas dubbed us as the “ring leaders” every time we did some shit. I call her JAMROCK because she’s Jamaican and when she gets angry her accent comes out. Gave me the Jamaican Dance Hall alter ego Satcha even though I’m far from a dance hall queen. *lol*

The Ex-Doesn’t warrant an alias but he was my first so-called love. We grew up together and got into a lot of mischief as children *hence all the beatings we’ve sustained*. Went to his wedding back in May just to show his bride up because I was looking too hot for words. Gave the punk my coveted virginity. In return dumped me for the chick he ended up marrying. They have a son together. Damn even I can taste the bitterness in this *lol*

LIGHT BRIGHT- The ex’s nephew whom I ran into at the wedding. He’s 9 years old than me *10 years older than the ex*and used to terrorized me and the ex as children. Always used to beat the shit out of us for random things and basically was that “pain in the ass” older family member. Saw me at the wedding and couldn’t believe how “Squirt” *me* have grown up. Pretty cool dude even though sometimes I get the feeling he’s trying to be more than friends. Hell he’s trying to smash, who am I kidding? He sees that I’m not a little girl anymore *lol*. I sometimes tease him on the phone and call him a reverse pedophile but he’s actually an interesting character. But we text each other all the time and so far hasn’t made a move *lol*. I call him LIGHT BRIGHT because he’s really light skinned.

**The Stalkers**

JDUBB- stalker ex-boyfriend. We went together for all of my junior year and half of my senior year in high school. Crazy as fuck and my very first stalker. Calls me from time to time to curse my black ass out for “ruining his life”. Negro tried to knock me up with no success.

OMAR-2nd stalker ex, messed with him a short time over the summer, crazy ass Jamaican who always claim he’s going to run me over when he sees me. The craziest and probably most dangerous of my stalkers, because well he’s from the Islands and we all know Jamaican men are crazy as shit. Called OMAR because he looks like Omar Epps. A fucking downfall fell for a sexy face. Drove 2 hours down to my school to curse me out and leave.

KAPPA- Boil on my ass nigga who got the pussy while I was drunk. Have not left me alone since. Hate his ass with a passion and is praying for the day he falls in the gutter.

SIGMA-Ex fuck buddy and close friend. We were cool as shit until he expressed his feelings for me in a way that was not platonic. Feelings were a little too deep and crossed that friendship line so I had to cut him off. Has resorted to bugging the shit out of me this upcoming week trying to get with me. Recently added to the stalker’s list.

**Random Folks**

CUTIE- cute DC guy that I met while my boyfriend was out of town in May for a couple of weeks. Was quite a cutie but um yeah had to cut that short when he wanted to kick it on a permanent basis and besides he was a little too timid for me. I think I scared him a lot with my filthy mouth, bossy demeanor, and candid conversations.

FRENCHIE- Crazy French guy who was following me to work for a few days. Creeped me out so much I had to let JBN step in and handle the business. Haven’t seen him since but he’s probably some where whacking off.

SEXY BACK and BABY P-Weekend boyfriends TWIN and I picked up during Howard’s Homecoming. Pretty cool guys from Cleveland who had a little swagger that I was feeling but alas TWIN dropped SEXY BACK after she found out one of his friends was a guy she was trying to get at on her base and BABY P while a cool ass dude, um yeah not my type. Sweated me a little too much that weekend for my taste…but I still liked the swagger.

EAGLE EYE- This big thick nigga who one time wanted my number at the club and I refused. My phone rang *a blackberry at the time* and this muthafucker managed to peek over my shoulder and get my number anyway never mind the font was small as fuck, phone stalked me for a quick minute until I had to snap.

NEW JERSEY-Ok I don’t remember his name or his alias but I do remember how this nigga stalked me seriously for like a week. Came up to my old job with flowers and shit and flipped out. Called every single hotel in the area until he found someone with my name. That’s what I get for telling people where I work.

**Of course in the archives there are more random club niggers but shit I’m lazy I just put down the ones I remember right off back or there’s the random girl I used to be cool with before we fell out for one reason or another. Shit sometimes I don’t want to read that shit either!**