My Very Normal Holiday Home...Pt 1

**Excuse Me Guys For Taking Forever...Trish's death shook me up badly. I'm not a person who deal with death well but at least I know she's in a better place. That's the only comfort that I have right now. Who knew she would have such an impact on me? I know I'm a secret softie but I cried all day Sunday, folks at work were ready to jump out the window because they were convinced the world was over because I was crying. I heart you Trish. You are a great person with unimaginable strenth**

I think everyone **T, Nikki, Angel, Honey, Slump, Isis, MT and X said beautiful words about Trish, far better than I can express, so please check out their pages for wonderful dedications. Trish truly was loved in the blog world, won't be the same without her...

**pours out Kool-Aid in dedication to my girl**

I can only describe my vacation in Chicago as scary.

Scary because we had a normal holiday. No breakdowns, no drunken rants, or fistfights at the Bid Whist table…Nothing.

**shudder**

The calm before the storm I guess.

But still…my family acting…normal …on a holiday?! I’m sure the end is near.

Tuesday I left DC in a bad mood. Not only did I have to travel way to Dulles but also I was flying Southwest.

The Greyhound of the Skies.

A further reminder of why I avoid Southwest when possible: Went on the plane healthy, got off the plane with Ebola. Sneezing, coughing, nose stopped up, eyes bloodshot, just looking like the living dead. BUT I got on the plane looking like a diva.

Usually when I fly I cut my waiting time down to 30 minutes before my flight departs because I live five minutes from DCA and I’ve flown enough times in the year to detect a pattern with flying out of DCA. I’m the one running through the terminal with 10 minutes to spare before final boarding call.

Not at that trap called Dulles. Not only was the line long as shit to get my E-Ticket boarding pass which makes me wonder what’s the point of me getting an E-Ticket when I still have to wait in a long ass line in order to check my luggage, but the security line was long as shit and I would get stuck behind some old biddy who wanted to hold up the line because she wanted to debate with the guard on why she couldn’t bring this big ass bottle of lotion on the plane with her.

What was her old ass doing with that big of a bottle of lotion? Already was old as dirt but wanted to debate about some damn lotion. I mean damn did she not see the woman do the demonstration with the Ziploc bag?

So I asked her to move it along. Yes the hell I did. I asked her could she step to the fucking side so other people could make their damn flights because frankly I don’t give a fuck about that cheap ass lotion and neither the folks behind us.
After clutching her pearls and “Well I never!” while mumbling about “disrespectful youths’ she stepped her old ass to the side.

Pissed because I was going to sit around for an hour and a half doing absolutely nothing.

I forgot Southwest has an “open seating” policy where you can sit anywhere on the plane and they board by class A, B, or C. On a full flight if you are in Class C, you might be shit out of luck. Thankfully, I was in Class A.

Now the flight was uneventful even though one thing I was forced to share my row with a married couple. Why is it people make a personal note to sit next to me on half-full vehicles? I mean it never fails…half-empty Metro train, guaranteed someone would sit next to me like there is not 20 other empty seats he or she could sit at. And always want to make conversation.

It could be worst I guess. I could get the stinky people.

So the flight was half-empty **I’m guess I’m the type of person who sees life as half-empty** and of these morons wanted to sit next to me and half talk me to death. I mean I just hate dumb questions. I mean how many times could you comment on the weather?

So you know me…IPOD went in the ears cutting off any mindless chatter.

Oh but no…the girl behind me wanted to talk this dude to death THE ENTIRE FLIGHT! I was so mad! Not only was her irritating voice filtering through my headphones but also she was a complete air head! I had the IPOD up almost to capacity, which of course gave me a headache, so I had to cut it off. And she just talked and talked and talked. Bitch just would not shut the fuck up!

Why didn’t I move? Well because I was in the area of the plane that I liked and I refused to move up because I would’ve been near the wing and engine, which are no-no areas for me. Um yeah, the back of the plane is usually left in a crash but are the wings? My point exactly. And there were hollering kids in the front. You know I don’t do kids on a flight.

Now the whole time she’s talking to this guy, he was a cute Black guy but he had a California Surfer accent, which turned me off, and I LOVE accents, I’m assuming she’s a white girl trying to join the Mile High Club with a brother. I mean I never turned around because I know if I did, the plane would have landed and I’ve probably would’ve received the boot.

I mean chick was just annoying, I think she was talking to hear her own voice because, honestly, what guy is interested in a 45 minute discussion on how your curly hair “fits” your personality and the “agonizing” rituals you go through to straighten it? I mean seriously? Who gives a fuck?

So I’m annoyed at the “white girl” who just kept chattering.

When we landed at Midway she finally shut the hell up and I was anxious to get off the plane, I was ready to mow folks down to get off the damn plane.

Stood up and turned around…Why was Chatty Cathy a Black Girl?!

I was too through especially since I remember earlier in their conversation she was talking about how she attends Georgetown and dude went to Howard and she had the nerve to twist her little mouth and ask what was Howard?

It was really an afterthought because hell, I know many white people who know what Howard is but do not know where it is at…And they live in DC. I don’t expect most White people to keep up with HBCUs but I wanted to slap this Black girl who claimed she didn’t know what Howard was…she actually had the nerve to ask was it a junior college?!

Damn I don’t expect everyone to know every single HBCU but to not know Howard?! Come on now seriously?! I pray she was playing “dumb female” role in order to continue the conversation. Live in DC, go to Georgetown…Yet don’t know about Howard?
Yeah right.

Then I found out Southwest is seriously crazy. My flight, although it stopped in Chicago, its last destination was San Diego. People who were getting off in Chicago got off the plane, otherwise everyone else stayed on the plane. Therefore, if I slept during the flight and I didn’t wake up, I’d end up in San Diego since they don’t announce shit. If you’re still on the plane, they assume you’re going to San Diego.

Gotta love Southwest huh. Lazy ass flight attendant. They don’t even wear uniforms! A guy offered me a drink and I had to think about it because he didn’t have on a uniform, I’m looking at him like, “Are you the flight attendant? I mean I don’t be just accepting drinks from strangers” until I saw the name tag. I mean damn someone could drug a person on the flight and shit. Wake up bound and gagged in the bathroom or something.

I’m like damn get a uniform or at least everyone wear the same shirt or something. Old girl working in some low-rise jeans and a sparkle top.

I came home to silence. No one was home. In fact, no one came home at all Tuesday. My mother was at work, my brother and baby mother was nowhere in sight and the kids were gone.

So I relished in the silence. Talked on the phone with Jules, my cousin, my godson’s mother and DH. It’s funny everyone calls me like they know I’m in town.

Enter JDUBB. Of course, I knew his radar would go off. He just texted me some nonsense, mainly inquiring about my upcoming nuptials.

Even had the nerve to ask did I think of “us” in that way once upon a time, as if I still thought of him in a romantic way. Maybe in high school I might have thought about him becoming my future husband…but umm yeah his craziness sorta canceled that out.

So you know me, being a total bitch, I laughed. Yeah right as if I would want to marry him of all people. So I could end up shackled in the basement?

To be nothing but evil because I didn’t want to talk to him and sometimes I really think about changing my number since it’s been the same for the past three years so folks could leave me alone, I invited him to the wedding.

He texted that I was still a bitch and the conversation was over.

Funny how that was the most dramatic thing that happened while I was at home.