My Very Normal Holiday Home...Pt 2

I don’t remember what I did Wednesday to be honest. I know I was woken out of my sleep quite rudely by my niece. Some point during the night, my brother and his family climbed from whatever trenches they were in and arrived back at the house.


Not to brag but my niece is so adorable! Of course she still has a receding hairline but I’m sure she’ll grow out of it *lol* but I guess anything is better than the two strings that I had as a baby that my mother always felt the need to slap a barrette in like those two strings needed grooming.

She’s 7 months now, crawling and she knows how to stand on her own. I don’t know if the standing then is normal for a baby her age but I was amazed. She can’t walk but she can stand on her own and does a little bounce like she want to walk but her chubby legs won’t move. I thought it was the cutest thing personally. She’s also going to be a chatterbox like her aunt because she woke me up with her babbling.

You know me I bummed around the neighborhood probably looking like a neighborhood hood rat because I was rocking the Hello Kitty PJ bottoms, a wife beater, a short jacket, hair scarf, and Jordans. Hey, screw that I wasn’t putting on an outfit to hit the Beauty Supply Store and Nick’s Gyros!

I had to give out lectures left and right. I felt bad laying into my cousins and my brother’s baby mother because they started crying but hey, some shit just need to be said: Keep your damn legs closed! Babies are not accessories! AIDS is fucking real and in the Black community, stop thinking that is a “gay disease” because your ignorance is showing!

I’m by no means a role model nor do I want to be a role model but two girls under the age of 21 should not have more children than me and I’m 23! They are not stupid girls, little misguided, but not dumb girls. But someone has to let them know because heaven knows what their warped ass little friends have told them because those little girls are chicken heads to the third degree.

I mean already their little bodies are sagging. At 16, 17, and 18 their bodies shouldn’t be rivaling a 40 year old who has had a hard life. I mean at 16 and 17 I personally didn’t have breasts, I mean I was barely filling out a B cup, but their breasts should not be falling into the arm pits without a bra, they shouldn’t be looking like two extra arms and shit. Stretch mark galore.

Ok I’m exaggerating. My pregnant cousin **who at 7 months looks as if she’s about to give birth any day now, I doubt she last to the middle of January as anticipated** and my brother’s baby mother at 5 months **I had to get on her extra hard about lacking in prenatal care because that just doesn’t make any sense, I just know my niece or nephew is going to come out mussing fingers and toes** is very small and have a decent figure for a mother of 2 ½, they don’t have bad stretch marks, but hell they have them!

We then went down to White Castle’s and stuffed our faces.

I love them girls with a fierceness I just don’t want them to fuck up their lives having all these children. They are not damn dogs, breeding every year and shit!
Then we’re coming back from White Castle’s and I ran into this dude I used to fuck with and man why did I fuck with him? No wonder he was an occasional nighttime creep because his face is not something that’s meant for the daytime.

But he did munch a fierce kitty though. I do remember that ;-)

He had the gall to ask me was I pregnant?! Um yeah any civil conversation went out the door. Granted I did eat 8 cheeseburgers by myself and I had the Buddha belly going on but shit two out of the four were pregnant and I was not one of the two!

Tried to be funny and rub on my stomach, you know I slapped his damn hand. for some reason I hate for people to rub on my stomach, I mean what the fuck, trying to jinx me or something? Besides it is annoying, I can relate to pregnant women who hate strangers to touch their protruding stomach, I mean damn I know I have a little pudge around the middle but geesh leave my stomach the fuck alone!

He invited me to some house party on the block but um yeah, if I wanted to catch a weed contact I would just go out in my hallway, which smells permanently of bud. Besides…me be seen with him…in the daytime?

Come on now…quit playing. Boo you were a nighttime creep for a reason. It must be the tongue ‘cuz it ain’t yo face…Tip Drill for real.

And I spent another Wednesday on the phone. A few of my friends tried to drag me out but I wasn’t in the club mood **Big Shock** and besides I wasn’t trying to run into anyone I didn’t like which seems to happens a lot when I go home like Chicago is a small town or something.

JBN drove to Chicago and I had to hear flack because my “bougie” ass took a plane instead of riding with my man. Um 10+ hours in a car listening to Jay Z is not my idea of a good time. Besides I get too anxious in a car because either I’m sleeping or fidgeting around.

I called him every two hours to get an update of his process and to have general chatter.

So far…family was normal. A little too normal.

I thought Thanksgiving would be it, back to dysfunctional family which embarrasses the shit out of me as they blurt out family secrets in front of our friends while we try to escape out the door while our friends’ mouth are gaping because it was revealed that a cousin’s father isn’t really his or her father and said aunt in question was a hoe back in the day but no one said another because it was common knowledge and such and such never did like her OR her potato salad, which is fighting words in my family, and there’s usually a square off with butter knives while one person threatens to slice another one…Or wait...Just my family right?

I was so wrong. And scared.