Wow, How Cute...

As I trudge through my last day at the place that helps pays my bills, I can’t help but give off gleeful chuckles.

I’m tempted just to curse folks out and just go nuts Jerry Maguire style but of course a b*tch realizes she’s just transferring locations and not actually leaving the company. Although I will be doing both once I take my certification test so I can teach bad ass third graders and pray I won’t beat one of them mistaking them for one of my family’s members and then have to live through a scandal of me slapping the f*ck out of one of these bad ass kids and beating his or her’s young ass mother **who’s probably my age any way** down as well.

But I don’t know perhaps I might just move up in the company but I don’t know too many Black people who are GMs or RMs of major properties. Besides I don’t think I’m “corporate” ready. I pop off at the mouth too much. And I am not an ass-kisser. I just can’t be puckering up to folks and sh*t. I know this world is based on who you know not what you know but I’m set in the mind frame that my pride is far more important than any job position. I have lost many great job opportunities because I’ve refused to conform my way of thinking. Folks call it “foolishness”, I call it “being real with myself”. Why kiss ass over a job that I will probably hate and dread coming to, thus “nervous breakdown”, when I can be content and with a good piece of mind.

Lawd knows I’ve already lost the “left side of my mind” **according to my mother** I have to preserve what I have left. I’m already have a foot in the door to have myself committed.

So there are these two guys at work. I’ll call them BK and SC. Why do these two fools call themselves liking me?

*sigh* Once again this body is a deadly weapon.

Both asked me on separate occasions to “go out”. Both have been rejected numerous times but they keep coming strong. It’s not like they are unattractive or anything. Ok both are light skinned and I don’t normally go for light skinned men. Call it twisted, hey I like dark meat. The darker, the better. Throw in some smoothness, a great build and sparking white even teeth? Ooh she quivers.

They don’t seem to grasp my simple thoughts on “work” relationships. Sure I go kick it with JR *another co-worker* and his guys but we go as groups. Besides JR and his little band of cute friends **same guys my girl and I went out with when I ran into EAGLE EYE check the archives people** have enough female on their T-I-P to sweat me or my girls. Besides I don’t like high-maintenance men. If you’re in the mirror more than me **and I check my reflection in every shiny surface I can find** then that’s a problem. Yeah I want a clean smelling, dressing, properly coordinated nigga like any woman but ummm yeah even I have my limitations. Go ahead and get that manicure/pedicure **lawd knows some mens’ feet and hands need it** As long as there’s no color, I’m straight. A little clear never hurt anyone. And unless you’re sporting the Al B. Sure unibrow I better not ever catch you waxing or tweezing. EVER!

I want you pretty but not too pretty.

Too damn pretty equals “I’m watching your walk for the sashay”.

I’ve told these guys numerous times that:

1) I don’t sh*t where I eat
2) I don’t sh*t where I eat
3) You suffer from that “women are supposed to sweat men” complex
4) I don’t even like real sweat so why would I sweat you?
5) You could never handle being the “other” man
6) And why would I want a side piece when I already have the main course in front of me?
7) Folks already think we’re f*cking so why would I want to f*ck you in real life?
8) Besides you’re just not my type.

I think some guys like rejection. I guess I’m a challenge and niggas I am not stupid. What is there some stupid bet on who can “hit” first or something? I mean damn at least be creative with your sh*t. BK would ask me some sh*t one day, I guess he doesn’t like my answer so the next day SC asks me the same exact question. Like the answer is going to change. I find it to be quite hilarious and considering all of my pending sexual harassment suits, they give me quite a chuckle at work.

Well now SC isn’t talking to me because I’m leaving him. I’m like I was never yours to begin with. I like the flattery but I don’t like grown men who play games. Once again, I’m 23. BK is 28. SC is 32. Please grow the hell up. Trixs are for kids. They must think I’m some wide-eyed female with hopes and dreams. T. Cas, do they not see the “Jaded B*tch” look in my eyes? Do they not see the “Nigga Please” cut of my eyes? Or the fact every single “serious” conversation has caused me to burst into fits of laughter?

When will they learn? When will they learn?

Like I would actually f*ck a co-worker? Well…Maybe if he looked like Morris or something. And even that would be an “after hours” relationship.

Maybe that’s my problem, I think too much sh*t is “cute”. Next to “Bitch”, “Fuck”, “Motherfucker”, “Cute” is my fourth favorite word to use. Like I think its “cute” on how they think I am a “challenge”. Like I guess one or *both* can wear me down. Is my name not Tenacious? *Ok well not my real name of course but it damn well should* Do they really think they are going to boguard some pussy out of me? I’m a veteran at this sh*t. I got Purple Hearts and everything. I’ve been flirting and dipping in and out the game since I developed breasts. Granted they’re still developing but hell since I finally got rid of the training bra **what the fuck is a bra training you to do by the way? What the hell is the purpose of a damn training bra?** at the ripe old age of 15. *lol* Hey I was a late bloomer, so sue me.

Besides I guess the memo of “live in booty” must have floated by them in the last meeting. Why the hell would I want to go out in the streets when I have free ass at home. Don’t even have to wear the sexy panties set or anything. It could be the old busted, “I’m not going to waste the pretty panties to watch Nip/Tuck so let me just throw on the drawls that’s a wash from being retired to the “Period” panties drawer” and he wouldn’t care. Still slide them bad boys to the side. But you? Damn that mean sexy panties for quite a damn while until I say “F*ck It”. And that’s if you’re even worth it. Something tells me you’re not. If you work how big your dick is into every conversation, um yeah something tells me you’re not quite filling that Magnum up the way you should. Oh how you would “wear” little old me out. Baby this ain’t virgin cooch. She’s done a lap or two around the park. A small park *lol* but still she done did a little jogging.

Very few men can “put up”. Most should “shut the hell up”. And they are some shut the fuck up. Grown ass men should not be bragging on the penis. Leave that sh*t in the high school locker room please.

That’s why he whom is not named is a “he don’t count” right now.

Damn element of surprise people. I don’t want around with my vagina on a T-Shirt with Diamond…F*ck Platinum written across it in cursive letters with glitter.

**Ok well she ain’t Diamond status but hell she’s gold at least. And the real Gold too**

^^^LMAO

But words are just words. It’s not like they touch me or anything. They probably be undressing me with their eyes but I let them know I don’t have on the matching set today. And they have witnessed my wrath a few times so they know I have a “potty” mouth, which is apparently sexy. I think my father would disagree *lol*

Dammit why am I so charming. Well I think it’s the ass. The ass would make any woman appear charming. Especially my ass *LOL* But of course you can’t trust a big butt and a smile….that girl is poison *ppp poison poison* LOL…That’s my song! *sorry it’s playing on VH1 Soul coincidently, stay out of my head VH1*

I should be the most conceited female on earth. I spend an obnoxious amount of time talking about the men who are chasing me although I have a boyfriend. *sigh* The poor boyfriend. I wonder if that is how Jay-Z feels. But sh*t I know where home is. And guys this is when I am not flirting. I haven’t flirted with anyone in, like, a week or so. I avoid them, don’t look *that much*, and turned down numerous numbers.

*sigh*

This is killing me you know this right? But anything to keep my steady dick supply happy.

But I know this is only a stage *men chasing me that is*. If I become single tomorrow, men are going to avoid me like crazy.

I’m debating on whether or not I should go home this weekend. Apparently my brother has gotten too big for his britches and it’s time to lay the smack down. Besides I want to see my niece. I heard she has some color to her *finally I was about to call Maury* and she can officially go out in the streets. You know Black folks will keep a baby in the house for months. White folks? Two days after the birth baby is out and about in the streets. No form of a hat or anything on the poor baby’s head. Just be passing the baby to anyone and sh*t. That’s why these white kids are growing up crazy as hell.

I’ll have to see how my money is looking...