HU's Homecoming Saga Pt 2....

Saturday I was bone tired. I did not get to sleep until 7 am due to me staying out all night and the alarm blaring to wake JBN from his drunken slumber. That stupid alarm went off at 8:30; he did not have to be at work until 11.

One thing that really irritates me about him is he would set the alarm clock for hours before he is ready to get up and just keep hitting snooze until he is ready to get up. No scratch that: I get up *because he sleeps like the dead* to hit snooze until I am finally driven crazy and yell at him to get the fuck up because he is disturbing my sleep. So I’m sitting up bleary eyed while he’s super cheerful because of course he’s slept through all of the 10 snoozes. Talking about he needs to “wake up gradually”. If I knocked the shit out of him, he would wake up gradually all right. Me, I usually set the alarm clock an hour before *or depending on the appointment 2 hours prior* and once the alarm clock goes off I’m up. A shower fully wakes me up.

I wasn’t having it this time, I cut the alarm off, shook him up and told him if he didn’t remain up I guess he wasn’t going to work because I was going back to sleep with the alarm off.

Of course, I couldn’t have an uneventful sleep; my father called to tell me he was in a car accident on Friday. His brand new Cadillac was totaled as were the woman’s car who hit him. He’s going to be out of work for a couple of weeks but he’s doing ok. The woman’s insurance is going to pay for everything but what will he do without his precious baby. I hope his time out from work does not mean daily phone calls from him.

Finally I head back to sleep. Had a few texts from people, including my girls who did not get into LOVE and parking lot pimped for the night. They were staying with some friends who lived in Leesburg. We made initial plans to get up with one another but that fell through by the middle of the day.
I dozed off for a little while and I woke up when TWIN woke me up and asked did I want to go to the mall because she didn’t like what she packed and she wanted to wear something else. Like I need an excuse to hit the mall. You know I was with it. *lol*

Now last night while at I-HOP SEXYBACK and BABYP had brought up the subject of the mall and we made plans to hit up the mall together. These crazy fools called at like noon asking were we ready to go. Um hello we’re not even half awoke yet, yeah aiight. I started calling them vampires, like when did they sleep. BABYP rationed that he “was here to kick it, he could sleep later.”

I mentioned Tyson’s Corner because it’s a bigger mall, more stores meaning more variety so chances are you’d find something “different” meaning a slimmer chance of someone wearing your outfit at the club and besides Level 21 which I have dubbed as the store that I would hit if I really became Hot Chokolet *Thanks for the spelling Isis* the exotic dancer was at Tyson’s and I like that store. In addition, I knew many people would hit up Pentagon City by default *I live blocks from Pentagon City* and the weather was a little breezy to stroll through Georgetown.

We make plans to meet up at Tyson’s Corner and by the time we got to TC it was close to three. These fools ended up at Pentagon City because their “friend” got into a jam, they had to get him, and the same “friend” wanted to go to Pentagon City instead. Fine by us, we shopped til we dropped at Tyson’s. Of course, they begged for us to come to Pentagon City but we said we would be there when we be there. Shit yall were supposed to meet us one place and ended up at another so you are on our time and you know we took our sweet time getting there.

We peeped their cute asses in the food court but Forever 21 was calling my name so I bypassed them to burn some plastic in my store.

We kicked it for a bit with SEXYBACK being a little grumpy. I guess it is true. Short people really do suffer from the “Napoleon Complex”. You know I had a field day teasing him because he was being grumpy because he couldn’t find an outfit he wanted which of course he could have found at Tyson’s. I wanted his alias to be DIVA but I think that imply he was gay. You know I find humor in weird things.

We get back to the apartment and relax for a minute. Put our feet up and relax before it’s time to hit the streets. I chatted on IM for a second and ran a quick errand while TWIN was laid out with attack cat at her feet.
Got dressed. Now I had every intention to attend Missy’s function. I was printing out the directions on Yahoo Maps and everything. See what had happened was…*lol* Basically I got twisted elsewhere. My girls called and I only intended to stop by for a quick drink and on the road to Missy’s but ya girl got a lil loose with the alcohol. You know how it is when alcohol games and Jello shots are involved.
We played “I never…” where someone would name something and if you did it you had to take a shot. *LOL* It was from a Family Guy episode. Yeah ya girl got drunk.

I was slizzard as hell. Yeah my girls got me drunk. Ok well I got myself drunk. And like the drinker and drivers that we are *well TWIN isn’t a drinker she just had a daiquiri.

By this time it was about 1 am and we wanted to go to LOVE because we heard Ludacris was there. Yeah that so wasn’t happening *lol*. We rode by PLATINUM because the Alphas were sponsoring a party but the line was too long and besides they wanted $40 to get into PLATINUM. I don’t mind paying for the club but considering the line was almost to the next corner and it was 1 am we passed. We already had did AVENUE so that was out. So we heard at FUR Kappas were letting the first 500 women in free so you know where we headed.

It was sheer craziness. Not only were there hundreds of people, there was no real form of a line, the guys were on one side ladies on another and they were eyeing us like we were pieces of meat. I was cold as hell because I didn’t have a shirt on *a blazer with a great push up bra underneath, I ain’t lying this time that bra gave me some MAJOR breasts* so I was shivering. Not to mention drunk and stumbling. I wore flat shoes that night.

We clowned in line for another hour and a half in line when we realized the fucking line wasn’t moving. We hadn’t budged an inch so we ask what was the hold up. Apparently, the Kappas weren’t anticipating that large of a turn out and the club was full.

We were too hot. I mean damn we could have went somewhere else but then again it was our own fault for being cheap like we were the only ones who knew about the party. I was tempted to pull a “K-Sweet” card but I’d probably get called up and called “sus” because I’d forgotten all the little know hows since I haven’t claimed the crap since Sophomore year.

Funny enough JAMROCK was my K-Sweet Sister **Konkrete and Hurrikane** and she was even more pitiful than me. It didn’t help her drunken cousin kept loudly saying, “Yall K-Sweets…Yall better greet some Bros so we can get in!” which drew stares from the guys and girls especially the ones who were in actual sororities who sniffed their noses at us. Yeah but you’re freezing too so be easy…

Finally we said “fuck it” and got out of line.

By this time LOVE was letting out and FUR is right down the street from it so we decided to parking lot pimp of course. We stopped in McDonald’s initially to grab something to eat but the lobby was closed and drive through was too long. We’re sitting there debating on what to do when my phone rings. It’s BABYP. He wanted to know what I was on and where I was.
Earlier I tried to give these fools directions and they got hopelessly lost. I was frustrated and hung up. I mean damn you have the internet on your phone you better Map Quest it!

Turns out they were at FUR but they actually got in. Him and SEXYBACK met us in the parking lot.

And this is where SEXYBACK got his alias. On any one else the outfit would look gay as shit but he was rocking a nice velour smoking jacket, crisp jeans and some bad ass shoes. I don’t care too much for men’s dress shoes but those bitches were looking lovely. Had it topped with a tie and a crisp dress shirt. I started joking that he looks like he could belong in JT’s video because the outfit looked kinda like his CD cover and from there the jokes started. My girl said he looked like Puffy on the Press Play cover only with smaller teeth of course. So I unofficially dubbed him as SEXYBACK and guess who had the song as a ring tone? Me of course so you know I had to play it for him *lol*

BABYP was well like a “Baby Pharrell” looking so cute and lanky with his button up and jeans. *sigh* I love a man with a crispy dress shirt. He had a cute sweater over it.

*LOL* Ok I guess men don’t want their clothes to be seen as “cute” but it was. I liked the way their outfits were put together. What can I say? I love a well-dressed man.

I’m sure you Jules, clothing snob, would even agree that their outfits were tight, son. I could see you wearing something similar. Ok and maybe some Euro cut jeans that hug the balls leaving them bad boys ready for the female eye but whatever.

Turns out their “friend” who was caught up in a jam was this guy that TWIN had her eye on for months down in Norfolk *what is it with these Navy men*? So her interest in SEXYBACK went out the window. I guess he was a lil salty but hey the tribe has spoken. Besides he really was short as shit. He came to my nose in flats. I will admit dude was a cutie, nice and chocolate. We shoot the breeze with them and my girls decided to leave but we stayed behind. I’m in one car with SEXYBACK and BABYP teasing them while SEXYBACK furiously texted someone on his sidekick 3 while TWIN and dude talked in her car.

Next thing you know we’re headed back to the Hyatt to kick it while she chatters on and on about cutie. I wasn’t really for going back to a hotel with some niggas because I didn’t want to give anyone the impression that they’d be getting some ass, shit I got dicked down lovely earlier that evening but I wasn’t going to let my girl go alone anywhere with some dude that I personally don’t know.

Besides push come to shove I could run home.

By this time, it’s approaching 5 am. Yes yet another evening out in the streets. We sit and watch TV, joke around and talk. We were offered alcohol but yeah I’m not going to wake up booty and mouth sore. Yeah aiight.

TWIN and cutie dipped somewhere down the hall and I spent time talking to BABYP who is a cool dude. I fell asleep on him though. A bitch was tired as shit. He asked me something and it was over with from there. We were on the 18th floor chilling when I got to comfortable and dozed off. I woke up when he was half carrying/half dragging my ass down the hall. Now he know his skinny ass couldn’t pick my ass up I don’t know why he tried.

We get back to the room, TWIN and cutie are knocked the fuck out in one bed, their other friend who didn’t say much was knocked out in the chair and SEXYBACK was sleeping in the other bed. Shit I wasn’t sleeping on the hard ass ground so I crawled in bed with SEXYBACK, pulled the covers over my head and went to sleep.

SEXYBACK snores AND he kicks in his sleep. I was going to kick his short ass out the bed; he was lucky he was cute.

I heard my alarm go off on my phone because TWIN had to get on the road and I had to drag my ass to work at 2:30. Hugs and morning breathe all around, we left. She showered, questioned me, and with a tight hug and a promise that I’ll come down to Norfolk my next weekend off, she drove off.

I took another nap and had enough time to shower and get to work. A bitch was so fucking tired at work. I looked like who did it and why and for what reason. I am not kidding.

No more hard partying for me. I needs not to do that again.

BABYP has been texting me nonstop since Sunday. *sigh* Hate to break the cutie’s heart but yeah he saw the ring. He knows the deal. Sorry for ya.

Over all my weekend was excellent. I had a lot of fun and once again when I stop being so lazy I will upload the pictures.