Random Entries Are Fun!

Ok Kudos to me…I got the job!

*dusts off shoulder* It was nothing. I knew everyone so it was a breeze. So I guess in the next two or three weeks I will be working some where else which means I have to get my ass out the bed earlier to make it on time for work but whatever. I don’t mind the commute, the new job is in Rossyln, which is like 10 minutes from my apartment.

I’ll miss everyone at my old job but hell some of them were working my nerves anyway.

So tell me why I’m walking down the street to the Metro and this FedEx guy must have trailed my ass and circled the block to get my attention. I mean damn I peeped him the first eight times he was calling, “Ay Shawty” but I guess he was like, “Oh hell naw, this b*tch is gonna acknowledge me” and stalked me to the train station’s entrance. He got out the car and everything. He was about to get that ass beat for grabbing my damn arm, startling me because I thought he would have given up at the entrance, and damn near making me drop my I-Pod. Yall know I was about to kick off the 4 inches heels and get gully. Do Not Grab My Purse Arm! I think I’m going to get a shirt made with that one it.

So he tried to spit some game but I had to laugh in his face because it was so weak even the older White men were shaking their head like, “This nigga a trip!” He was aiight looking but I promised to curb my roaming eye *even though I keep telling my boyfriend I have a lazy eye and he really shouldn’t be pointing out my disability lol* for the time being. Besides it seems like when I did not have a boyfriend, I couldn’t pay a nigga to give me some attention but now that I have someone, everyone wants to “wife’ me up. Someone please answer and tell me why the hell that is. Is that the new thing as well, having a “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”? Hell I remember when dudes just wanted to f*ck and I was insulted; now they want real girlfriends and sh*t. Want to strong arm a sista into a relationship and sh*t. What ever happened to just plain “f*ck buddies”? I know they still exist out there.

And why was I at work and two of the finest specimens on earth walked in and wanted change? Me and my girl were just drooling. I know I said I wasn’t going to be a flirt but hell I can still look! And look I did. I was staring at their faces for so long I know they thought I was retarded. I think one must have asked for change for a $5 bill about four times until my brain registered on the words and not on the lips. *sigh* I was so mad that I let them walk away. See the sacrifices I make for love *and to keep the boyfriend off my neck*? Damn I was sick the whole night. My manager was joking that he was surprised that I did not get my flirt on. I had to sulk away in shame. Damn I am so not ready to burn my card.

And another walked in yesterday night. He was a little too light for my taste but he had the prettiest grey eyes. You know I was scoping to see if them b*tches were contacts. I’m sorry but men who wear colored contacts screams “Ghey” to me *makes limp wrist motion* You know damn well your black ass don’t have forest green eyes! Just stop! Light skin does not equal light eyes! I know there are dark skinned folks out there with light eyes but damn the ones who be perpetrating. I saw your ass yesterday and your eyes were plain brown. Now they purple. Getthafuccouttahere! So after confirming that they were indeed his *besides he looked a little too “thuggish” for colored contacts lens but I know “homo-thugs” are out there lurking…Hmmm why are YOU really walking with a “swagger”* Knowing damn well they "sashaying". He had an obnoxious amount of tattoos too but I can work around that. I don’t mind a few but this nigga had damn near every square inch covered with some form of a tattoo. But in a way it kind of worked. I mean he was light skinned and the tattoos did kind of pop out. And he had some nice teeth.

But he killed me when he wanted change for a $100 bill…in singles.

Yeah he wanted $100 single dollar bills.

So you know where he was headed.

I was like damn you could at least slip a 5 spot in that garter. I mean damn you’re going to make her work for those singles. He tried to deny where he was going *oh you think I didn’t ask* but he was laughing too hard. And why did I spot some dimples? You know panties got soaked after that. I am a sucker for some dimples. Had to come home and take my frustration out on the boyfriend *lol* Well he has dimples too but they are not as deep as the guy's.

But yeah I had to let this one walk away as well. He wanted my number but I had to decline.

*sigh*

Tonight the boyfriend and I are supposed to go out bowling. Of course I’m going to beat him *as usual*. I have been bowling since I was 10 years old and while I am not as good as my younger brother, my mother, and my aunt, I am pretty good when I want to. I need to buy another bowling ball and shoes since I left my bag in Chicago. I am something of a sports klutz anyway. I can only do the “lame” sports but I can swim my ass off. I’m breaking down Black Folks stereotypes one dooky braid at a time.

*lol*

Why did I see a girl with Poetic Justice braids this morning? I thought that style of braiding went out with well Poetic Justice. I was too through. Home girl was rocking the braids and that annoying skirt/legging thing. I think that sh*t is ugly as f*ck. Maybe I’m hating because my knees look super knobby in spandex but whatever. Right now it is too hot to be layering anything. Hell I was mad I had to wear a bra today. Didn’t want the boobies poking out through the camisole when I took off my hot ass suit jacket. I save that look for the club *lol* And my feet were killing me. I knew I should have worn the big purse so I can slip my patent flip-flops in there but noooo Tenacious had to be too cute walking down the street. Now I’m soaking these bad boys in my Wal-Mart spa. Hey don’t front, that spa works some wonders and all for $12. Should I be mad though that the little ghetto salon where I get my hair done has the same exact spa for the “Nail” section? They just throw a pitcher of warm water in there and call it a day. Still be having Kool-Aid residue at the bottom of the pitcher and sh*t. What flavor? You know it’s RED!

You know only white people know the exact name. In my house it was always RED. We didn’t really care about the flavor *although cherry is my favorite if you want to get technical* as long as it was RED. Oooh and don’t let me get on GRAPE. We only drank RED and GRAPE Kool-Aid. My room mate and I in college always had a pitcher of Kool-Aid *with sugar residue floating around and at the bottom because you know we only made it Ghetto Sweet* in our little refrigerator. And don’t let someone put the pitcher back with that little swallow of Kool-Aid at the bottom, that’s a fight! Who the hell drank all the Kool-Aid? *LOL*

My boyfriend does that now and I just want to smack fire out his ass sometimes. Talking about “I was saving you some…” What the hell is that little drink going to do? That ain’t even wetting the tongue, that old shot-glass worth of drink. But I am used to it growing up with a bottomless pit of a stomach younger brother.

I have to find my checkbook. I don’t know where the hell I placed it. It’s only five checks left in the checkbook but still I want to find it before I call in those check numbers as “missing”. Because I will beat an ass if someone think they’re going to live good on my expense. Hell my tank ain’t full…What the hell make you think yours should be filled on my account? I don’t think anyone took it because no one has been over in the past two weeks and I woke a check last week but I just don’t know where I set it down. That’s why I hate writing damn checks. These f*cking companies need to hop on some Online Payment Methods or damn at least in the call centers or something. Who the hell writes checks any more? I still have entire books of stamps from my last bank. And I have to mail a check back to Illinois which is going to take a couple of days to arrive and process.

I’m trying to go home for the 4th. I think I’m just going to go that weekend although I will be missing the Taste of Chicago. But I get to see my niece and since she’s past the six week check point that means my little mama is going to be hitting the streets with me although people will think she’s mine. It’s funny, all my brother’s kids *and that’s a damn shame they’re in the plural sense* folks think that they are mine. My nephew is my brother’s mini-me. They look so much alike it’s scary. And my niece is high yellow and look like her mother. But folks think that they are mine. I don’t mind but damn people stop pressing other people’s kids on me! I know the teen pregnancy rate is sky high and it’s rare to see someone my age *23* without any children but please, I strap up every time *ok ok I’ve had a few slip ups but dammit it feels so much better without the condom* and besides the Lawd knows me. He is not ready to release my spawn on the world. Hell I am not ready to release my spawn on the world. But I do have cute outfits for my niece and nephew. And no she not rocking the baby halter and dukes I see some babies in. That sh*t is just sad.

Besides my body is looking too right for the inevitable stretch marks. It’s bad enough I discovered a few light ones on my ass, them b*tches don’t need to connect and form the Beltway and sh*t.

*thinks about it and commence to slapping Cocoa Butter on*

I want the new Treo but I don’t want to pay retail price so it’s Ebaying time. A b*tch is about to have yet another bidding war.

Oh yeah I’ve noticed I’ve had a few more people commenting *blows kiss* Don’t be shy. Hit me on the chat box or Yahoo! Messenger. I log on pretty frequently so I can be entertained by the always humorous T.Cas.

T. Cas and the “Choose Your Own Adventures”, another one of my Daily Reads commented about “Sweet Valley High” and “The Baby-Sitters Club”. You could not tear me away from any of these books although I always thought Jessica was a sneaky, evil b*tch and Claudia and Dawn were my favorites. Jessi was a little boring to me although she was the only Black kid in the entire sixth grade, I had to feel her pain *lol* I never started a Baby Sitters Club though, hell the kids in my neighborhood were too bad and ghetto. Besides you know their brothers and sisters were the only “baby sitter” they mamas needed.

Damn yall going “old” school reads on me. Is it bad that I have a nice chunk of “SVH” and “BSC” sitting on my bookshelf right now? Is it bad that I got into a bidding war to win these books? *lol*

Let me log on to Ebay right now.