They've Gone And Got Me Started....

Why did I start off Sunday by getting into it with my manager? Now me and this manager started off real cool but as the months went on, he began to change. I guess that whole “Charles in Charge” power thing has been really going to his head.

I don’t know it is about my personality or just how my home environment was but I just refuse to take sh*t from anyone. You know how it is supposed to be a time when you shut the hell up and a time when you speak up? I lack the first. It was many of times when my lips were looking like Angelina Jolie’s because I was constantly getting slapped in the mouth for “sassing” my mother. It’s like I always have to counter with a rebuttal. I actually should be missing teeth f*cking around with my mother but luckily her dental plan at work doesn’t pay out all that well.

But my mother always instilled in me not to take “sh*t from anyone”. I guess that’s always why I’m Captain Save A _____ because I am quick to jump to people’s defense. Ok not just everyone but folks who I feel are being picked on or are too “weak” to defend themselves. For example, ICE had a dumb ass boyfriend who I just could not stand. Every day I wished (because Black People don’t hope) he would just fall in the gutter somewhere. Every day I was disappointed. Thankfully she work up one day but before he used to treat her like crap. Talk down to her, was really dude, and always tried to “play” her in front of friends. Now if she was like my other girls, well actually if she was dude would have been gotten that ass beat but she is the nicest out of our little crew. Really quiet (not “Tenacious” idea of quiet but really quiet), sweet, smart, funny, and meek. Some times we forgot she was in the room that’s how quiet she was. But we love her anyway because she’s the ying to our yang. Our negotiator. Who do you think calmed me down when I smacked ol’ girl in the cafeteria for disrespecting my boyfriend? Who walked me to that first anger management class? And who was the first to come pick me up when “my destructive presence” was no longer needed? How the hell was I suppose to know note taking was not allowed?

But you get the point. Really sweet. And although I told her to wake up and smell the old pizza boxes littered in our dorm room, she loved him. So as a friend I can only sit by and grumble quietly. If you like him, I love him. But you know I was just waiting. I guess he started feeling himself one day and he said something really nasty and she started crying. Normally when he goes on his little roasting spree, I would just sit there and when I felt he was getting to greasy with the mouth, I would step in and speak for her defense, basically roasting his ass into submission. But you do not make my friends cry. I don’t care what the issue was but if any of my friends calls me crying, my shoes and Vase-Line (as we call it) are already on and ready. And you do not make ICE cry. Let’s just say campus police was called and they broke up two days later because he couldn’t deal with my crazy ass.

But that’s how I am. One day this might get me seriously hurt or killed but until then, I am “The Enforcer”. That friend you hate to see coming because you know it’s going to be some sh*t. Now granted I listen to both sides of the story and if my friend is in the wrong, she’s in the wrong. I don’t jump on the “Well that’s my friend so they’re always right regardless of what they do” bandwagon. Wrong is wrong. I understand, but I don’t understand, how some people will defend folks knowing they’re wrong as hell. For me, if you are wrong, I would let you know you’re wrong.

If I just don’t like the other person on the other hand…Sometimes I need an excuse to curse your ass out.

But I realize this attitude is really bad for the professional work environment. I really do. I realize that by stubbornly refusing to back down will eventually hurt my professional career. I really do. My refusal to submit to my superiors have earned me the title of the “Ball Breaking B*tch” in my department. In fact, I was told via work sources that I am being “watched” by the RM and GM of the hotel. Being “watched” for what was unclear but I was warned that I am being “watched”. Before the prick of a manager whom I’ve had quite a few words with (I’m not on the racist, condescending “word play” he loved to do until I reminded him that I do have a four year degree…in English), he told me I was not “management material” because I have an “explosive attitude” and “stubborn views” *lol*

But Tenacious is not an ass kisser. I have yet to pucker my lips and place them on anyone’s ass. Who the hell know what lips have been on them before mine? I don’t brownnose. I’m not a suck up. Only people I suck up to are my parents. And that’s when I want to coerce some money out of them. While I hold my tongue a lot a work (they have not seen nasty), I have told them that I have been this way for 23 years now and if my mother have not managed to beat the way I am (and trust she beats ass) out of me, then I am unable to change. Besides I refuse to change who I am for a job. While it’s a fun job and most of the time I like it, I do not love it.

While change is good and over the years I have changed my personality, I personally think my personality sets me apart from everyone else. While I am not unique in my personality by any means, my personality says a lot about who I am. And I don’t think any career, whether I like it or not, will change that. I keep a lot of it under wraps at work just for the sake of HR but at the same time I will not just stand there and let someone yell at me like a child and I just quietly listen. If I am in the wrong, I am in the wrong of course. Sure I will try to argue my point but it’s like a half assed argument because even I know deep down I am wrong. But if I feel I am in the right, I will say so. I just can’t stand there and listen, fuming, just to talk sh*t about you when you walk off. Even when I try to just shut up and listen my mouth starts moving anyway. I think that hand, eye, mouth coordination has been damaged by too many Bacardi shots or something.

It started over something simple and just blew up over nothing. Like I mention seven scrolling up ago *lol* this manager and I was tight when he first started working there. We would shoot the breeze, talk smack to one another, and just joke around. Until he started feeling himself lately. Since the old manager has been promoted and the new manager is still in training, he’s basically in charge. He’s going to be in charge for a while because the new manager is coming from a different department and from what I have heard it’s going to take at least a year to get the hang of the job. So most of the responsibility is going to fall on the other managers’ hands.

Now he has been on the receiving end of my tongue a few times, more so lately because like I said he has really been feeling himself. He tries to crack little smart ass remarks and like the self professed asshole that I am, I have to respond with a cute little rebuttal.

I mean I am not mad really at his Napoleon complex because I, too, am a 23 year old sufferer of it. I just don’t like his phony attitude. It’s like he try to suck you in by being so cool but the next day he want to call you in the office and write you up for the same stuff you’ve said in confidence. Sure it’s his job but it’s like he’s trying to build dirt on you. I won’t even get on his blatant favoritism with one of the girls at work who is a “passer”. If you don’t know what a “passer” is, pick up a few books. This girl is in a serious denial stage too. I don’t like her either but that’s another posting.

And then he thinks he can talk to anyone anyway he feels. He can get really greasy with his lips when he wants to. I guess he forgets sometimes that he is not Black and he better stay in a White Boy’s place. Be coming at you super gangster like his name is O-Dogg or something.

He wanted to yell at my girls and I because we did not practice the 15/5 rule and he feels like we have been playing around all day and he’s trying to do something on the computer and why are people approaching his consel when it’s three of us at the desk.

Granted he had a point, I never practice the dopey rule because I think it’s stupid. True I won’t notice a guest until they’re all up on me sometimes but it’s usually because, I too, am doing something at the computer and my head is down. Besides folks like to come from all angles, walk pass the desk then do a U-turn, and sometimes they are so far away from the desk, you would not think they were checking in/out. You would assume they’re waiting for someone they way they are standing. So he did have a point. But then he pissed me off by still yelling talking about they were standing there for 30 seconds while we were talking some “ghetto” mess.

Now why did he say that? We weren’t talking ghetto mess. We were having flat out general conversation. And I saw the couple before they walked up and before I could open my mouth, they went to his computer. Besides they saw three Black women and a White man. They were White. Who do you think they wanted to go to? People do that all the time. They would refuse to let one of “us” serve them and go to the White person for help like we don’t know what the hell we’re doing or like we’re going to steal their credit card or something. I have seen the subtle racism. I have heard the little comments that they have said. I have had people who have stood in one of the white person’s line and refuse to step over to my line (which is empty) so they can get checked in or out. So when I saw the couple approaching from my left and they walked straight past my computer to get in his line, I already knew what they were on. And since he was doing something, I tried to call them to my computer (one step over from his by the way) and they flat out said “No”. So I was like two tears in a bucket f*ck it. I ain’t going beg someone to let me assist them.

But when he said that, I just snapped. Oh we went back and forth for about 15 minutes about the rights and wrongs. What he saw versus what I saw. How he had been pissing me off all day doing that but I didn’t say anything. How basically you’re calling me a lazy ghetto b*tch right? Oh and he must have been feeling the Black side because he was just still talking back. Finally, I just had to just yank the wig off and get Chi-Town gutter and ask him who the f*ck did he think he was talking to? If you don’t want attitude don’t dish the sh*t out. And don’t ever talk to me like that again. The argument is over. Dead. Stop bringing the sh*t up because neither one of us is backing down. I said it was over. So get the f*ck away from me before I hurt your feelings.

^^^Ok I was greasier than this but you get the point.

My girls were stunned. Of course they were cracking up the whole time but they were like everyone in the lobby heard the confrontation and I “handed his ass to him on a platter well done. And I passed it around for anyone who wanted some”. But he had pissed me off. I thought he had learned from the argument from two weeks ago but apparently White People are becoming immune to Black Folks attitude. Trying to get gully like they ain’t scared of us or something. F*ck they think this is?

So he avoided me the rest of the shift but apparently was talking “I lost the argument but Ima talk about what I should have said but didn’t” mess in the back. He’s lucky I didn’t catch any of it because I would surely be informing you guys that I am on the grind for a job.

Also apparently according to work gossip, I have all the managers “spooked”. Hilarious considering you muthaf*ckers have the ability to hire and fire. And you’re scared of me? Little old me? I come to most of their shoulders, if that, but you quiver at the sound of my name? *lol* That makes me feel good. The fact that I am still striking fear in people’s heart have let me know that I have not lost my “touch” *lol* Why can’t they just leave me alone? Let me do my work and go home? Stop putting me at the front desk if you don’t like my attitude. I’m sorry if we don’t have a computer system where I can just type without looking down (which I can do). F*ck around and crash the system if I press the wrong button. Can I help the racist assholes who think I am not capable of doing the job that I’m hired for? Like I’m a criminal who decided to dress up just to steal your identity. Like I’m going to come in early as hell, scare workers with my new growth to silence them, and then patiently wait six hours until you check out so I can get my hands on your credit card. Yeah I’m going to do all that when it’s so much simpler to catch you in the parking garage, beat the sh*t out of you, and take the credit card out of your purse. *shrugs* But at least he knows not to come at me wrong. And as a White person, I better never hear the word “ghetto” fall out your mouth. One, you don’t know what the hell ghetto is. Two, you don’t even use it properly when trying to attempt to use slang. White people should know by now when parents and White folks start using “our” slang word, we change the meaning or just stop using it all together. When’s the last time you hear a Black person say “Bling”? Yeah my point exactly. And third, ghetto is a place not a state of mind.

Why, oh, why are people continuing to test Tenacious’ gangster?

*WOO—SAH*