T And Interracial Dating....

Completely random question: How is a lesbian, well, a lesbian if she uses a dildo? I mean doesn’t that defeat the purpose, of well, being a lesbian? I mean someone, really, answer that?

LOL I was wondering that last night while chatting with T.Cas.

So as I wait for the water to come back on *and yes I paid my bill this month the apartment is doing repairs to the pipe* so I can drag my funky ass in the shower to drag my ass to work, I decided to post right now rather than when I get home and I’m all semi-cranky from dealing with people all night.

One of the adorable little white guys at work yesterday asked me if I would ever date someone outside my race. I mean, what year is this? I’m going to assume by “date” he meant “f*ck” because I know he likes a lil’ chocolate on top of his ice cream. I told him I would…But with limitations. I mean Hispanics are a given because mmmm I have seen some fine ass Dominicans, Cubans, and Puerto Ricans. I am like, “Ey Papi, Como Te Llamas?” *lol* Ok that’s basically all the Spanish I remember never mind the two years in high school and three semesters in college. But I know what they’re saying on Telemundo.

So I’m assuming he meant “WB”. Now in an earlier post, I touched on some of my distaste for “WB”. “WB” standing, of course, for “White Boys”. I mean for the most part I see majority as racist pricks. Sorry but I do. But I am guilty of having “WB” husbands. I don’t think I would date an average “WB” because most of them just look goofy as hell. I mean damn would it kill you to buy a new pair of sneakers? I mean them b*tches are like one step away from falling apart. I mean you can not come out with me looking like a homeless dude, I don’t give a f*ck how much those jeans cost. Hem them b*tches up! And your shirt will NOT be tighter than mine. Polo just cutting off all circulation in the arms and sh*t. No wonder some be so uptight, damn jeans hugging the nut sack. I’d be upset if my balls were looking like sport bra tits too. Just all smooshed in and sh*t.

My “WB” would have to be tanned *because paleness scares me* and dark haired. Hell, let me be real, from a distance he gotta look like a light skinned brother with “good” hair. In fact, he has to look fine as hell period. I want him so fine the white b*tches are hating, like “Damn…How she pull him? Them Black b*tches be stealing all the good ones” while they tugging on broke-ass Tyrone to come on. Because believe it or not, most white girls are taking the men our black asses don’t want. I mean aside from the gold digging hoochies who runs after the athletes and entertainers. I’ve done seen plenty of white girls with that broke ass nigga off the block, been with the nigga so long hell she begins to look black. Trust, it’s one in the salon where I get my hair done. And while we acknowledge her as the “token white girl” she’s not the token white girl. She can lay some Black hair to the side with the best of them. And yall know I don’t want not a white girl in my scalp.

And if he has to look “cornbread fed white boy” just white as snow *well not the snow in Chicago, that sh*t is slush* he has to look “movie star” good. I mean he has to be on the caliber of Brad Pitt or my other husband Justin. Screw yall, I heart Justified. He need a shave and a haircut right about now but he’s going to come back home to mama when he’s done with Cameron’s crazy ass. Just got him out there looking rough as hell. If you’re not a good looking blond, then you need to holler back. I mean sure after hanging with me and getting to know the family, he’d be like Eminem *another favorite of mine, crazy but still kinda sexy to me* after awhile.

And they all have to have some type of street smarts. No dinky asses over here. When I start to run, that means you do the same. No “investigating” or standing there like an idiot because you not me *because I’m down the block by then* will get popped off. And none of those “dumb ass questions that White People always ask” either because I’m already an centimeter from slapping the sh*t out of one more white person if they ask me “Do I wash my hair” or any other dumb ass question that have them backing away from me because they know I’m bout to snap. But then again and I will say this again, White Folks are trying to get crunk with Black people. Like they ain’t scared of us anymore or something. I’m going to have to restart “Striking Fear In White People’s Heart Movement.”

But I think I’m too much for a White Guy to handle. It’ll be like an Ike and Tina relationship because I know Ima punk the sh*t out his ass. He’d be flinching and sh*t like he’s on that sh*t with me. Have concealer and sh*t from where I had to slap his around and sh*t. Eat The Cornbread Bobby! I don’t know I just am seeing “possible wimp” when I think of someone like me with a White Guy. The white guys I do see with Black women either the one is really light and a “passer” anyway or she is African. And the others are the “hood” sisters but the guy is “hood” as hell. Like a Paul Wall or Bubba S. Even though they are so not hood to me but whatever. I don’t know I’d have to find one with some fire in him or something. Maybe one of these new breeds who ain’t scared of Black people.

But eww I just can’t fathom the “pinkness”. He’s gonna have to lay out in the sun naked or something. That sh*t would traumatize me or something. You know if I can see the sh*t in the dark? Like that sh*t standing out at night in the room? I’d run from that b*tch screaming. I don’t need a glow in the dark stick thank you very much. Looking like an uncooked hot dog and sh*t *LOL*

OMG I am so f*cking stupid. But hmmm I do kinda want to see what one actually looks like up close. Look at me trying to turn a White Guy into a science experiment. I can see me, FH and TWIN luring White Guys in the basement and sh*t. Talking about we got Soccer on TV and sh*t. LOL


I am one who doesn’t have a problem with interracial relationships. Hey if you wanna bring her home and she can’t use your comb, by all means make sure she uses it on the kids’ head or something. Little bi-racial girls be out looking crazy as hell. The “Kelis” afro only works on Kelis, not a 6 year old. Please style the babies’ heads. And please make sure the heifer look better than me. Don’t be bringing that rag doll around me like she’s Barbie or something. B*tch looking like the Dollar Store Barbie and we all know how bogus those dolls look. Just because she is “mixed” or “exotic” does not mean she’s cuter. And if you’re with someone for something other than love, then please seek treatment. Hell I was teased in elementary school by Black guys. I was told I was “too dark and ugly” by Black guys. Black guys have said a lot of mean things to me but does that mean when I fix myself up, I’m going to eliminate Black guys from my equation because I was teased? Oh go cry me a river. Boo f*cking Hoo. Like the same girls on your arm would have given you the time of day either.

My glasses are so thick I can see folks waving from a map *snicker I know…Old roasting jokes* but don’t think I didn’t dish out the teasing with the best of them. Ok and no I don’t wear my glasses AT ALL anymore. I am so vain that I rather walk around *which I did* with one contact in than put on my glasses. My boyfriend did not know I wore glasses until he saw the case. Hell a lot of people doesn’t know I wear contact lens. But any long time glasses to contacts wearer will let you know they rather walk around visionless than slap on their glasses. I don’t even wear them in the house. But then again who wants to wear bifocals proudly and you’re under the age of 65?

But hey if you love Becky, Chiang Lee, and Marisol for who they are, good for you. But if you’re with the above because they are not a Bonquita, Shakira, or LaTonya then like I said get some help. Besides when you cheat, who do you come running back to? The Sisters. So guys be real. I don’t want your damn money so stop with the “Black women are gold diggers” stereotype. All races have gold diggers. It’s not exclusively a “Black” thing. But a Black woman is a gold digger because after you hit the NBA, she hits you up for Child Support *nine times out of ten she’s tried to do it before but your ass was too broke then* to take care of your kids. But you swear up and down Becky *whom you met at a bar and she probably bust your ass up that first night* is not. Black women when we leave, we take the money and hell at least we’ll give you some visitation rights *ok most will we all know some gotta be ignorant b*tches about it* but a White girl? Sh*t she taking everything. Dirty drawls, the house, kids, dog, goldfish, the car, and half your salary. And she’ll have her new man in it all before the month is out *ok there’s Black women like this too to be fair*. I noticed that a lot with the athletes on my campus. Had a black girlfriend who did everything from washing uniforms to typing papers but as soon as they were drafted, picked up the pretty non-minority cheerleader. Or the “exotic” looking co-ed.

Really damn sad.

Now while the white guy at my job is adorable, I’ll never date him of course. His damn shoes look like he’s been building Pyramids with them b*tches. And he’s a blond. I’ll just sit and wait for Brad Pitt. I know Angelina is going to get tired of him pretty soon. And mama will be here to pick up the pieces *lol* Even though I heard Brad does like a little chocolate in his diet.

But enough about my mini-rant: What about you guys? Have you/will you ever date outside your race?