Ain't This 'Bout A.....

Tell me why I had to get into a mini “text” argument with a dude?

Which resulted in me having to curse him out?

Do people think it makes me feel good to treat them?

Do they think it makes me happy?

Ok in some cases it does…But I don’t like being a bitch ALL the time.

Now this is one of the guys I met at the club on Friday. He is one of the reasons I hate giving out my real number at the club. Can you say phone stalker? I hate people who call you excessively and then get mad when you don’t pick up the phone. Hello…It’s called voice mail .

Don’t call me 8 times in one hour. Especially if you’re not family and it’s not an emergency. This guy called me 10 times in literally 10 minutes. Then tried to call “Private” four times. Does he not know that Tenacious do not “do" private calls? It’s either a bill collector or one of my exes. Does he really think I’m stupid? Like, after calling me 10 times in a row, I’m going to pick up a “Private” call after that?

^^^F*ck he think this is?

Granted, I get in my moods where I don’t want to talk to anyone. I will ignore your calls. I admit I do it. Everyone knows I do it. What do they do? Wait for me to get out that funk and call them back. If it’s important or a real emergency, they leave a voice mail. Why? Because I know most people don’t leave one. That’s what the missed call log is for. But if you leave me a voice mail, I will call you back. It’s petty but sometimes you just don’t want to hear your friends’ drama. Sometimes I don’t want to play Therapy.

Most of the time, I don’t have the day time minutes to listen because I am a chronic talker myself. After getting running over my minutes enough in the month, I have learned to scrimp and save my minutes because Verizon will hit you with some dropped calls in a minute so ummm can you call me after 9? I mean would it kill you to hold off on that hour long conversation for just 15 more minutes? I mean dang. Or better yet...Call the “house” phone. Stop calling my cell when you know I’m at home. Unlimited house minutes people! Folks act like they’re scared to call you at home. This ain’t in high school when you were “on punishment” and your mama went out the house and you had to sneak on the phone with the warning, “If I hang up, that means my mama home and Ima call you later...” Of course, I had the ig’nant ass friends that would call back wondering why I hung up in “they face” and right when they were going to tell me about why Darquesha and Lanetta were fighting for real...*sigh*

Just call me on the house phone.

Now I wasn’t ignoring him on purpose. My phone was on vibrate and hello I was at work. They swear I get away with enough at work and they know how I am addicted to my Blackberry so I have to leave it in my purse. I sneak on it anyway though. That’s how I saw he had called me 10 times between 4 pm and 4:15 pm. Like my number was on steady repeat or something.

Then I guess he must have felt me pick up my phone because he called me again 5 times in a row. Now my phone holds all missed calls in my phone log per day for 2 weeks. He had filled up my screen with missed calls! Now I was mad! Mad because I don’t like when people do that. If I don’t pick up the phone after the third time...Please let it go. Just let it go. Pray that I call you back but don’t continue to call and call and call. That is called phone stalking.

It’s bad enough at the club you thought I was going to go home with you and you were getting a little too cozy for comfort. I mean you cock-blocking and all like you’re my man. Trying to hold my sweaty hand walking down the street. Making plans to be together *lol* all based from a dance. But please…Do not test my gangsta phone abilities. I gave him the number because he was cute. *smack forehead* I’m a sucka for a pretty smile. Didn’t Bell Div Devoe quote “Don’t trust a big butt and a smile”? I trusted a nice face and a smile. That boy was poison (poison poison).

So because he broke my rules of engagement, I had to write him off. Next thing you know, I get a text that read this and yes I’m putting his ass on blast:

Phone Stalker: If you didn’t want 2 talk to me why take my number then?

^^Took your number because you were cute. I had intentions of calling but hey I’m like a guy...I wait a minute to call you. Damn I don’t call you the minute I get your number. Can you say thirsty-- Water water everywhere but not a drop to drink? Throat a little parched? Try some water damn.

Me: 1st off, I’m @ work & I can’t answer my phone. 2nd was it really necessary for you to call me all these times? Do I owe u fuckin money? Do you need blood or something? I’m B- by the way and u can lose my number for this foolishness

^^I mean it’s gotta be one or the other. He was ringing me out like I owed him $20 and I said I would give him the money that day. You know how it is when you owe folks money. They can’t remember the simplest thing but can remember, however, that you know them $20 from 2 months ago. Can tell you the entire conversation, temperature, outfit, hairstyles, shoe color…the works when you owe them money.

Phone Stalker: Fuck you bitch all I want to do is fuck. U fuckin Phoney ass bitch.

^^^LMAO. Baby, I’ve been called worse. That’s all you got?

Me: Grow up dude don’t try to curse me out via text. That’s lame. U wasn’t going to hit anywayz but its all good have a happy birthday punk.

^^I was more mad at the fact that I’m actually taking the time to reply. Sh*t I don’t have texts to waste. Doesn’t he know my best friend and I are texting junkies? I get pissed when people send me forwards because I have to open them in order to delete them. Don’t they know that cost against me? I am even madder that he was convinced he was going to get the booty. LOL is that what men really think? That you’re going to get the ass like that *snap fingers* from a half assed conversation at the club?

Phone Stalker: Sure I wasn’t. But thanks for saying happy birthday phoney.

^^I guess his attempt at “text sarcasm”. **yawn** Get up a little bit earlier please.

Me: I’ll be phony but u r disturbed if u thought I was gonna fuck just from one half assed conversation baby I’m grown take that childish talk back to high school.

^^^Now I left it alone after that because I am not going to continue to argue with someone who is mad at me for not calling them back. I mean sheesh leave the phone stalking to the desperate females in the club. That is so not sexy for a man to behave like this. Wanted to pout because I did not answer his 15 calls. Do I really want to take a trip back down stalker memory lane? Damn I have a hard time getting rid of the ones in Chicago. I don’t need a DC stalker. Sh*t I know my way around Chicago. I got escape routes. I get lost walking down the street in DC. ‘Nuff said.

Phone Stalker (I guess wanting the last lick): What’s funny is I don’t want you.

^^^*dead* Oh so you phone stalk all the ladies you don’t like huh? Waste good anytime weekend minutes for people you don’t like? Hell waste good texts for someone you don't like. I know they cost. I know you don't have a text package. How pathetic.

I hate people like this. Insecure bastard. He reminds me of the guy that say “Aww f*ck you b*tch you wasn’t cute anywayz!” when you reject their feeble advances knowing they hurt inside. They go home and write in their journal, “Dear Diary, I was rejected again. This time I got the bird flipped at me and an evil cackle. I wonder why she didn’t like me. Was it my breff? Was it my outfit? I ain’t gone never get a woman” all while writing dark poetry in the borders. Um yeah I don’t answer to cat/bird calls (Hooty Hoo Coo Coooo is not sexy coming from a grown man's mouth), pulling along side me in your car hollering out the passenger window (I don’t know you nigga...Can you say Amber Alert? We cuts dudes like you in the Chi for scaring us like that. I’m already paranoid...Don’t push me), grabbing my hand (That’s my purse hand nigga! Ima fight you thinking you trying to rob me or something) or anything like that does not get my attention. It just makes me turn my Shuffle up a little louder to drown out the sound of sheer reject. And I damn sure don’t answer to repetitive phone stalkers. I am a Taurus. Hello I am Tenacious as F*ck. Don’t push me. Don’t try to force me to answer your calls.

And don’t call my ass before 9 pm on weekdays.