Monday, April 03, 2006

Sunday Night TV



I don't really watch Punk'd and I don't know if this was a recent episode or not, but I was rolling when Shaq got punk'd. I think the show is lame as hell. I mean come on...Do celebrities really fall for this sh*t? I hope not. I mean, it just is fake. The situations, the gags, and the reactions for the most part seem rehearsed. They have been a few that seem a little bit more realistic but for the most part, I'd have to be like, "Are you serious? I know I'm on TV right?"

A person would have to be retarded to let the air out of Shaq's tires of his truck over a parking space?! Do you know how much it would cost to fill the air back up on a SUVs tires? Not just one tire but they let out two?! That means towing!!! I was rolling because Shaq was seriously about to beat dude's ass! I was mad, though, at how he was lumbering along like Frankenstein and shit trying to chase the guy. You play basketball!! You get paid to run up and down a basketball court?! F*ck you mean you can't catch that skinny ass man?! Shaq is f*cking hilarious. I mean sure his rap career, Kazaam, Blue Chips, and Steel placed him high in my favorite comedies (and tragic acting) and I can't wait for Scary Movie 4 (You know I'm there) but dude is hilarious. I peeped Shawnie "Baby calm down, let's just walk away" and his "Naw f*ck that" rebuttal and I just cried laughing. The "lawsuit and Kobe" threats white dude tried to throw in Shaq's face? Classic.

*dead*

The only thing I like about Punk'd is when they get the wrong Black person to f*ck with and they gotta cut the joke short before someone gets hurt. Doesn't Ashton know Black People are an Angry People? Hell, I threw a plate at the wall of IHOP (and toward the waitress...Yeah I'm not getting that pitcher's position for the White Sox anytime soon) because I felt my Tooty Rooty Fruity wasn't "Fruity" enough! Those episodes are the classics! I think someone one should do a show on that called Pissing Off Black People. Just do some sh*t guaranteed to piss off Black people and run with it. Sure a lot of law suits will result from the show due to the ass whooping sure to occur on the show...But think of the possibilities:

Cutting In Line At The Grocery Store/DMV/Amusement Park/Currency Exchange/Bank

Fucking Up A Hairstyle At The Barber/Beauty Shop

"Losing" Paycheck (Bring A Lot Of Security During This Taping)

Step on Fresh Sneakers At The Club (Bulletproof Vest for the Brave Soul who does this)

Smack random Black women on ass...Smack Black guy on ass just for kicks...

Say something negative about someone's mother (Think O-Dog and Korean in Menace II Society)

F*ck Up An Order at a restaurant

Hell have 10 people behind the counter and only one worker

Sadly Pissing Off Black People will be yanked from the air after one episode but it will live on through DVD...


Flavor of Love *smuh* Wasn't worth the hype. There were comedic moments but for the most part it was a snooze. *dead* at New York. What was up with the outfit and weave? Can you say "popped". LaLa had some sly jokes on her but is it me or does she look weird looking? Isn't she on MTV anyway? What the hell is she doing on Vh1? I think it's those big ass eyes and her irritating ass voice that makes her look strange sometimes. She look like she has gotten a little thicker too. She's cute though. Most of the women looked like hookers. Titty hanging out must have been a requirement to come back on the show. I mean Smiley, come on, was Victoria's Secret the only store open when you went shopping? White girl with the guitar- WTF was up with that shirt? It just smelled cheap. I don't remember Cherries at all but she did have on a cute outfit. I laughed at how Smiley tried to be all "New Jur-swey" on the show. Lips still looking all bloated and crooked. Botox gone wrong. Sit down hoe please!

I love Goldie.

It seems like it was "Putting Cherries On Blast" Night or something. Red Oyster looks slow. She looks like she's a few kit kats sticks short of a bar. That's sad because I did not know Asians bred slow children. You learn something new every day folks! Rain needs to get that big ass gap in her teeth fixed. Looking like a beaver. I did laugh at her snapping on damn near everyone. She is an angry Black woman. Calm down Rain! Flav is not cute! I'm glad Georgia got that nappy ass shit she called hair fixed. Damn near didn't recognize her with the Dark and Lovely. There's nothing wrong with a natural but her shit was too natural.

Pumkin...*next*

I laughed when she ran like a punk when New York was about to get up in that ass. Tried to talk sh*t while security was holding New York back. Someone had clearly eaten their Gangsta Os that morning. Hottie is still nuts. What's up with her and her eyelashes? B*tch is not a Kewpie Doll. Hell she ain't even the Doll at the dollar store. You know the one. The one that got one clump of hair, nappy ass hair at that, and easily detachable body parts. Feet all deformed and sh*t. Scrawny as hell. Can't even wear the real Barbies outfits, gotta create clothes out of old socks (Don't act like I'm the only one who had "House of Dereon" sock fashions)? Don't look like she lost weight to me. At least she had on a shirt that fit. 27 inch waist my ass. I'm not even a 27 inch and I am like three times smaller than her! LaLa just don't know how to measure. I guess that's how fat girls manage to rock small ass outfits. Miscalculations in the dressing room thanks to saleswomen like LaLa. *shakes fists* Please, Stores All Over The World, train your salespeople in measurements. It would save a lot of burning eyes all over the world.


For the most part I was disappointed. They coulda went into more details or sumthin'. Just kinda dry and boring with a lot of cursing. I loved New York's "And What B*tch" move she did after putting Cherries' business on blast. Cherries (whose whole purpose for being on the show was still puzzling considering I don't really remember her and she always had something to say) ran off stage crying. *dead* The part that had me rolling was when she threw the podium and charged after Pumkin. She was like, "Damn the 30 seconds. I'm after this Bitch NOW!" LaLa was too crazy. She was like, "Umm yeah we ain't gone let you beat Punkin ass on t.v but umm yeah we know where her makeup room is located..." Ok she didn't say that but you know LaLa wanted to take it to the streets like in the hood. Hoopz was a little disappointing. Flav looked kinda hurt when he told everyone that him and Hoopz didn't make it. I know he knew it wasn't meant to be. She was looking pretty though. She had to silence New York right quick though. Damn the way these women were arguing and fighting you woulda sworn Allen Iverson or Morris Chestnut *sigh* I can only wish were on stage. Overall I gave the show a C+.


Family Guy was a rerun but I still watched it. Lois discovered she had a brother, who was locked away in a mental asylum, and killed fat people. Hilarious.

Boondock was a rerun but it was a funny one. The one about Christmas. *classic*


Sunday is like my TV time. I sit and watch a lot of TV on Sunday. It was like a gold mine today. Bebe Kids on BET (I just realized...Janice Combs was the inspiration for Vivian *dead*), Nutty Professor on USA, Unfaithful on TNT...I was just in TV heaven. A lot of good (old) movies have been coming on lately. I forgot just how funny these movies were until I sat down to watch them again. Makes me want to go on Ebay and find them *lol*

It was laundry day. I hate washing clothes. It seems to take all damn day. Our dryer in the building is bootleg. It takes like $3 to dry one load of clothes ($1.50 to wash and dry). Umm yeah I'm bout to head to the Laundromat and sh*t. I can dry for a quarter and they get dry. It takes like 4 hours to wash and dry clothes when it used to take me an hour and a half. You know I'm not on that. I did a thorough weekly cleaning of the crib. I am a neat freak. I clean three times a week but I catch the little lazy sh*t my BF do that I gotta curse him out about. Half cleaning the bathroom (He knows the bathroom is the only room that is cleaned daily like I ain't gonna see that dirt under the sink). Half vacuuming (The dining room does not count as the entire apartment). Half doing the kitchen (counters and stove just greasy as hell) and bedroom. I gotta keep telling him...This ain't a Frat House! Clean up n*gga! Living like he's still in the Kappa House or some sh*t. And they crib was nasty. Like "gotta wear shoes in the house because they haven't swept or mopped since they moved in, don't wanna sit on the furniture, on the verge of getting roaches, old ass cups and dishes in the sink" nasty. I tried to clean up their house-once-and I left that sh*t alone. House was too big and too nasty. Eight grown ass men just nasty as all outdoors. I refused to spend the night, use the washroom or shower, anytime I came over. I only stayed there twice and I felt like I was itching the whole night. You ever get that feeling? Something just so nasty you get the scratching and sh*t? Think you got bugs crawling on you? *shudder*

I don't mind cleaning but I can't be around filth. It just irks me. It like I would unconsciously start straightening up your place if it looks out of order. My best friends hate to see me coming because I'm making beds, putting away dishes, fixing hangers...The works.

But my side of the closet look like a bomb hit it. It's just trifling. My flaw: Too many clothes, not enough places to put them. I got 7 pairs of jeans on one hanger. Poor hanger just drooping, on the verge of snapping. Cheap ass hangers. Shirts just everywhere. Belts everywhere. The only thing in order are my shoes and purses. I will get it together. My boyfriend's given up on my side. His side: perfect however.

Bastard

I need to find a better way to spend my Sundays.

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