Black Businesses...

So I'm on one of the daily blogs

The L

and she's discussing a recent incident with her whip. She took her car to get tints at a Black business.

*pause*

Yeah...You know where my ass is going. Don't even have to ramble too much. Everyone has a bad "Black Business" story the same way everyone got that one drunken uncle/aunt who cuts up at all the family events. Doing the "Good Foot" while sipping on Ripple talking' about: (to the embarrassment of you who have probably brought over a significant other to his/her first "[insert your last name] Family Event") Yall don't know nuffin' 'bout this while trying to James Brown Slide or Bus Stop their way across the room.

*pause*

Don't front like yall ain't got that relative in your family! I know I am not the only one! Asking the significant other personal questions and what not while you try to fight through the crowd to rescue them from said relative. You drive all home all silent only to blurt out right before they get out the car how "sorry" you are and how that relative "doesn't act like that all the time" (knowing you lying. They act like that all the time...Remember Big Mama's funeral?)

Now don't get my wrong, I support Black Business. I try to scout out a Black Business where ever I go. Hell I live in Arlington, VA yet I'm in District Heights, MD or NE/SE DC getting my hair and nails done. Yeah...Arlington is about as White/Mexican as they come. At least in my neighborhood. I've been to the Beauty/Nail/Chicken Shack/Auto Parts/Church (on Sundays)/Car Wash joints around the way. I mean kinda genius when you think about it. You mean I can get an oil change, a touch-up, and a fill-in plus praise the Lawd (On Sundays) while eating a Catfish dinner? Getthafuccouttahere! But businesses like that are notoriously slow and nine times out ten sh*tty as hell. You know you gotta back...Nine times outta ten with some Vaseline and your hair braided back because you know you’re going to have to scrap to get a refund.

Now I told everyone how I left the beautician who has been doing my hair since I moved to DC because I felt she was overcharging me. Do you know how hard it is to find a new beautician who can do your hair just right? She hooked my 'do up but I refuse to believe that a simple roller wrap is $65-70. I mean it's not like I'm using Beyonce stylist or anything. And looking at some of her weaves, she shouldn't be using that person either. I understand my hair is thick and long. But charging me because of it? Umm isn't that your job? To do hair? And it's not like I'm getting a relaxer or touch-up with it. I'm sorry I've had a few bad experience with shops doing my relaxer so I rather spend $7.99 (Damn relaxers went up. Remember when they were like $5) on a Dark and Lovely and do it myself. It comes out better (IMO) and it lasts longer.

So I basically had to "fire her". I got my braids and took them bad boys out and since I have to wait a couple of weeks to relax my tresses, I was in the search of a new shop to get my butters whipped. No success. Like I said, in my neighborhood, there's only the upscale beauty salons that must be on a side of stupid if they think I'm going to pay $80 for a simple trim and the discount hair cuttery places which of course is a Hell To The Naw! White girls can not cut my hair anymore after the last time I was stupid enough to let get in my hair. That story is another post though.

So my boyfriend tells me a Black girl in his class gets her hair done around her way in District Heights, MD. That name just sounds hood but desperate times call for desperate measures. Usually I gotta scout out a neighborhood or whatnot because I ain't trying to go get my hair done during Drive-By Week. A little skeptical because I've never met the girl and although my boyfriend claims her hair looks tight all the time this is coming from the same guy who suggested I get a "T-Boz circa 1992" haircut in 2005. But I take a chance because I'm desperate and the puff puff ponytail makes me a potential R. Kelly victim. I get an appointment after being placed on ghetto hold for like 10 minutes meaning they just put the phone down and started hollering who's available on Thursday all while I hear everyone and they mama's conversation in the background. Apparently some girl who gets her hair done in the salon is messing with one of the beautician's baby daddy and she's going to "whoop that trick" the next time she come in to get her nails did. Yeah you know I was ear hustling all the way.

Now don't get me wrong. The shop was neat, had an amazing decor, and semi-profession. Sure the owners were getting a pedicure while talking on the "shop" phone to her mama. And sure the Oils/Dinners/CDs/DVDs/Sunglasses man was on first name basis with a lot of the clients/beauticians. Sure the woman that was doing my hair had like 5 people in front of me and I was waiting for an hour just to get in her seat. Ok and sure the "shampoo girl" was chewing gum and talking on her Bluetooth while washing hair. But other than that...The shop was straight.

Until I got the nail salon part of the shop.

I mean every single ghetto concoctions you can place on a nail were displayed. Not only did they not have a proper pedicure spa, they did not clean the Wal-Mart $19.99 foot spa (I own one) they did have. And they only had 2. With 6 six stations. So folks were just passing it around the shop like candy. I've never seen so much glitter in my life. Every nail or toe that left that part had some part of glitter crust on it. Every color of the rainbow was on full display. Every design you can think of was there as well. Now there was some talent. Who else could paint a Reese Cup logo (complete with glitter) on a nail? Who else could place acrylic on a toe and shape it to resemble raptor's claws? Ok Ok the woman's feet already looked like an extra from Jurassic Park and I was mad at the acrylic toes. I was mad at the fact that she wanted them as long as she could get so her toe nails (not the actual toes) were hanging over her flip flops. I was mad the nail stylist suggested it! So imagine how my little French Pedicure went up against that type of competition. They were looking at my feet in amazement. Like I invented the simple white stripe going over the toe nails. One color? Only one? Getthafuccouttahere!

Then came the Black Business part. Some girl come in and starts hollering she doesn’t like her nails. That was not the colors she wanted blah blah blah. The girl that did them apparently was just looking at her. So they get into it because apparently messed-up nail girl did not like that attitude radiating from nail stylist. Nail stylist basically states "No Re-Fund". So messed up nail girl start to cussing up a storm. Nail Stylists said this basically:

"Bitch (yes she called ol' girl a bitch. No ma'am here I guess) if you didn't like your nails you shoulda said sumthin' then. Don't be coming back up in my establishment a week later talkin' garbage. You better gone somewhere wit that noise. I said No Re-Fund. Fuck You and them nails."

And kicked ol' girl out. And just to make sure any body else wanted to complain about their nails, she let it be known it would be no refunds up in here.

So I'm eating some ribs (yeah I broke down and bought some from the guy. I mean I had been there for two hours already and had yet to get in the chair) just rolling. Then the owner made the announcement that the credit card machine was down and they could only accept cash only. Only two folks left to go the ATM. Apparently it breaks down every week so people just bring cash. One beautician got mad because the woman's hair she just finished did not leave a tip. You know she followed ol' girl out the salon to the parking lot and demanded a tip? Why did the woman who did my hair have the tackiest weave in her hair (Why is it most stylists hair look like hot sh*t warmed over anyways?) but did the best hair in the shop? Why did she make me walk to the corner store to get change for a $20 because she didn't have any? Yeah there were no cash registers, price listings, or anything. You basically had to ask how much sh*t cost before you sat down. Someone found that out the hard way when she didn't have enough to pay for her daughter's straw set. I was nervous letting her do my hair considering that weave which looked like the picture in the top corner. Hair stylist is another profession that I expect perfection. She did hook my hair up though.

Of course no business cards. Just scraps of paper. And um yeah you gotta call for business hours because they change weekly. And they make it clear no kids can be in the salon so I was warned that if I come in with a kid, they won't do my hair. And the air conditioner was broke, so mix that with temperature outside that day (It was like 75 degrees) with the heat from the dryers, curlers, flat irons, nail drills and just the general heat hella Black people generate when in confined spaces, so it was set on "Hell During a Heat wave".

I love my Black Businesses but some need to just do better. My story isn't as bad as L's Car Story but I'm sure the more I go in, that will all change.

Does anyone else have a funny/bad/angry Black Business