Origins Of "STICKY THIGH"

<<--I thought this picture was a little fitting *lol* It's amazing the sh*t that pops up on Google Images...

WARNING: THIS POSTING IS VERY, UM, GRAPHIC. LOTS OF SEX REFERENCES SO THOSE EASILY OFFENDED--OH F*CKING WELL. DID YOU NOT READ MY BLOG'S DESCRIPTION??

One of my best friends (ALIAS: FH-Fort Hood, TX is where she is currently stationed) and I am always creating new slangs and definitions. We're just silly like that. We call it our own code. We've been doing it since High School and have no plans to stop.

For example: Food References are usually an indication that we're talking about our favorite subject--SEX! We talk about SEX so much we should be labeled as addicts but that would mean going to self-help classes like, SEX ADDICTION ANYNOMOUS, and being that I don't do well in those classes (I was booted from an Anger Management class because I was picking up tips on how to look remorseful in front of the judge at your Assault/Battery trial, how to not leave bruises, and taking notes during "testimonies". Apparently that's not the purpose of the class) so me and FH would be in too much bliss in those type of classes. Picking up men and sh*t because we know they're good for a round or two.

Example:

He went to Wendy's last night and girl was the Spicy Chicken good!

Translation: He ate the puss-in-panties and the d*ck wasn't that bad either.

I wonder what kind of polish sausage is that?

Translation: Damnnnnn. How big do you think his d*ck is?

Red Lobster was not on the menu that night.

Translation: I woulda went down on him but it was a bit funky down there.

^^^You get the picture? I can go on and on but um yeah. Our minds are in the gutter. Sometime she would say some sh*t to me and I'm like, huh? And sometimes our wires do get crossed. I'd really be talking about food and she would think my mind is in the gutter. Now sure I don't blab all my boyfriend's and I sex life because well ewwww. Who wants to hear about that? Hell, I've been with the same guy for four years so she's pretty much get the gist of our sex life. Besides, I know she don't want my man. We don't share men. She don't want my sloppy seconds nor do I.

But FH is my best friend and I love her. We've never had a fight or a (serious) argument. How many people can say that?

Now I mentioned "STICKY THIGHS" in a previous post. STICKY THIGHS can be a good/bad thing depending on the situation. Ladies, if you ever had STICKY THIGHS then you know what I'm talking about. That residue that forms at the upper thigh during sex that makes that squishy kind of noise. Usually the "run off" becomes the "Wet Spot" in the bed that men avoid and you end up laying in your own juices kinda pissed off because it's well cold and sticky. Sometimes a STICKY THIGH can be a good thing (He worked your ass so good you don't even care about the wet spot). And then again, it could be an annoyance. Especially if you're anticipating something good and it sucks. So not only are you in the cold and sticky wet spot but your thighs are sticky for no damn reason at all. So you are pissed and annoyed.

For my best friend and I, we use STICKY THIGH when we're describing a guy who was a serious disappointment in bed. We also STICKY THIGH to describe a good one as well. We've also expanded it to mean any unwanted sexual advances because well a STICKY THIGH is annoying when not used for good.

We started using STICKY THIGH in High School when we were young and dumb. Nothing has changed too much in the years. We still are young. Now in high school we would talk big sh*t about sex but when it came down to dropping the drawls, we would clam up. Hence our reputation as "teases". We just weren’t giving up the goodies to just any ol' body. Now my best friend has this PHYNE ass boyfriend in high school. He resembled my "husband" Morris (as in Chestnut) and I was pissed that she "pulled" him first. Damn my addiction to Aunt Annie's! If it wasn't for me being all in my pretzel, I probably would have seen him first, thus claiming him as "mine". So after going out for 6 months (hell nowadays 6 months might as well be 6 years for us but in high school, we held firm to that "6 month rule") she decided to just gone head and "give him some". Now she told me he had a nice lil' package due to numerous "Peanut" (aka Dry Humping) episodes and she was getting tired of Peanuts and wanted the entire Snickers Bar.

So when her moms went to work, she invited him over with me on standby at my house in case she needed an alibi as to why she wasn't picking up the house phone (she was at my house if her mother called and asked). I didn't hear from her until the next day at school when she walked in. Judging by the glum ass expression on her face, I assumed the incident went bad. He was a really nice guy so I assumed that he backed out at the last minute out of "respect for her". Sh*t you can't find a brother like that anymore. All it takes is the word and the n*gga clothes falls off like magic. Already under the covers before you take your shoe off good. She said she would tell me at lunch because we had "ear hustlers" all up in our business. At lunch, she told me they broke up.

Shocked, I asked for details, braiding my hair to the back because I just knew I would have to f*ck Morris up for f*cking with my girl. I was ready to head up to his school and everything. She looked at me and said:

*Dramatic Pause* (Yeah we're dramatic storytellers as well) GIRL HE WAS A STICKY THIGH.

Confused because the word was not in our usual vernacular, I asked for the definition. She said:

A STICKY THIGH is an N*gga who bust too quick. Girl we were at the crib and we were just lying around eating peanuts (dry humping) and Hershey kisses (kissing...duh...lol). So we 'bout to get ready and do it the dew (have sex) and I'm ready girl. I'm like a Fruit Geyser ("wet") 'cuz I was waiting for it. Then it happens. 3 Push-Its and it's over. N*gga sweating hard like he just put in work and sh*t! I was pissed. Do you think this n*gga noticed? Hell naw! He turns over and go to sleep on my ass. So I'm just sitting in the dark fuming like "This N*gga done got my thigh sticky for no reason at all"! And he couldn't get it up again after that. I was so mad, I woke his ass up and threw him out and told him to never call me again! F*cking STICKY THIGH!

^^They got back together after that but STICKY THIGH quickly became a new code word.

Judging by our tone, you can tell whether it's good or bad.

Example:

Good: It was so good, he left my thighs all sticky. I didn't know he would leave them that damn sticky!"

Bad: I knew he was going to be a STICKY THIGH when he was fumbling around the Breast area. Gnawing on the breasts like was a Hershey Bar and sh*t.

Eww looking at him is going my make my THIGH STICKY. You know he's going to try to holla at one of us.

^^Sometimes ambiguous but for the most part--It gets our point across.

Either you STICKY THIGH or...STICKY THIGH.

I had a guy (One of those "HE DOESN'T COUNTS") who was a STICKY THIGH because he came as soon as he slid in. No lie. In the process of him sliding it, he came. And he thought he had did something at that.

**cricket chirps**

Ummm...Yeah. He doesn’t count. Don't act like I'm the only one who has a "He Doesn't Count" in their closet! Hell I got two of the muthaf*ckers! You're like "He Who Is Not Named" if I place you in that category. Now I'm upfront and honest about who I've let between the thighs but if you're a "He Doesn't Count" I will deny we've had sex to the end of time. Hell I will fight a muthaf*cker for even implying that we've did something. Straight denial for that ass.

He tried to use the old "Girl you were so wet I couldn't control myself" bit. I woulda fell for it if only I wasn't as dry as hell. Damn condom had more lubrication than my ass. It was his f*cking sweat all over my ass! So I was doubled pissed. Not only did I not get any satisfaction but you have the nerve to sweat all over me like you really did something? I think my eye twitched that day. I threw his ass out and strickened him from the record. When my girl ask did he hit, I was like "Hell F*cking Naw he ain't hit. Why, is that what he's telling folks? He is lying on his d*ck yo!" and cursed his ass out the next time I saw him for "lying" like that. To him, it counted. "I should be glad that I make a dude come quick" or some other sh*tty line like that was used.

N*gga please.

There was also a guy that had me STICKY THIGHED every day :-) Had to leave him alone before I became a stalker. Yes...It was just that good. It was too much for my ass to handle so I copped out like a punk before I turned into that crazy, deranged girl who be sitting outside his crib at night smoking a Marlbolo (and I don't even smoke) fuming because he hasn't answered my 15 phone calls and my p*ssy is humming like a Negro Spiritual and I'm like a Junkie because I need a fix. No siree, Tenacious will not be a strung out sex-head and sh*t.

And my dentist? Yeah he might have been a potential STICKY THIGH. An unintended bi-racial baby is not in my immediate plans.

So men: Be Careful on your STICKY THIGH ability...You might not get the result you want. And if you do...Ummm yeah Ima have to put you on my standby list.