Ball In A Cup....

I'm an AUNT again yall!! My baby niece was born at 12:47 pm (Central Time) today weighing in at 7 lbs 5 oz and 19 inches. My brother was going to name her some little ghetto sh*t but you know my moms wasn't going for that! My mother said she looks just like my brother...I'm still out on whether that's a good thing or a bad thing. We're a good looking family, don't get me wrong, but is that good for a girl to look like her father? I'm just asking. Her pictures (you know Ima be all up in there with a camera...They gave her my middle name. Ain't that 'bout a heart breaker?! I got a little namesake running around here. She'll be cursing people out by two) will be adorned on yet another wall dedicated to kids who ain't mine! I swear I got hella kids pictures in the crib. Folks be coming over thinkin' they mine and sh*t. Like I got 7 kids all under the age of five just hiding under the couch or something.

I ain't gone trip on how my brother who ain't even 20 yet has had his second child. His first is my adorable nephew from a previous post. Second baby, second baby's mama. His son's mother has two children and my niece's mother has a two year old daughter. Everyone is under the age of 20. Ain't that some sh*t...But that's another post on how I feel about babies having babies. A damn shame is what I call it. While I love my nephew (and new niece) fiercely and we claim their brothers and sisters as part of the family as well (No bald head step children here), I tell my mother all the time about her hypocrisy all the time.

How come it's ok for men to go out, have all types of random sex, and they just get the half-asses "Don't Get A Girl Pregnant" speech. I'm sure all men know what I'm talking about. The speech your father (or mother...or aunt...or grandma...Hell Cousin Roscoe) gave when you were a teen about sex. Kinda boring. Kinda dry. Basically ending with you getting a fistful of condoms and the warning "Don't Be Branging' No Babies Up In Here". If you did, didn't your parents forget that speech and went right into "Grandparent" mode?! Cooing and sh*t at the baby, babbling on and on about how the baby look like your Uncle/Aunt on your mama's side of the family? You know the one. The one you've never actually seen but everyone swear you've seen before? In fact such and such changed your diapers and baby sat you as a child?

This is how a girl's (well at least mine) "talk" about sex went: Don't do it. If you get pregnant, I'm beating ya ass. Don't be spreading ya legs for everyone because lawd know you can't turn a hoe into a housewife. And this was my father's speech. King of "Get With The Good Foot" and Booty Hound of the 80s. Ain't that 'bout a bitch? While my mother's was a bit more sensible (and probably the reason I didn't turn out to be that big of a hoe *lol*), it all went back to the "Don't Get Pregnant" rule. Granted if I did in high school, my mother would not have thrown me out the house but it would be none of that "Ima hang out in the streets with Neesha and 'dem while my mama watches the baby" sh*t that I see going on a lot. If I went out...So did the baby. I'd be at the club with a diaper bag and a Snuggie. Oh yes, me and baby daddy would have to get along. No choice. Best believe his ass woulda been right in the house with me listening to my mama fuss as she cook dinner mumbling under her breathe, "This girl has lost the rest of her natural born mind bringin' a baby up in this house. Hell she ain't nuthing but a baby herself...Done just messed herself all up...And that nigga....Hmmpt she coulda at least f*cked somebody with some sense...Walkin' round lookin like Blacula and sh*t...Not one "good" hair on that baby's head...AND COME GET THE BABY! I KNOW YOU HEAR THE BABY CRYIN....Lawd give me the strength..."

^^^I'm used to my mother's lectures and santifying. It would probably be more cursing but you get the jest.

My brother?! Sh*t as soon as my nephew slid out his mama's young ass, my mama was all over the baby. Dead that "speech" sh*t. She was officially a "grandma". Call me bitter but hey I expected an ass whooping or something. She's actually excited and she wants more. Now she's waiting for me. I told my mama she's scaring me...She's suffering from that "White Woman" delusion. She's asking me when I'm going to get married, when I'm going to have kids, blah blah. That White Woman. Sorry but I only know of white woman who asks those damn questions after a woman reaches a certain age. In my family, after a certain age, you get the "You ain't gay, are you"? Not "When are you going to get married? When are you going to give me some grandbabies"? There's enough crazy marriages and children runnin' all up in the family. It's more like, "When are you not pregnant? When are you not getting divorced"?

My mother. She's scaring me yall.

She know ain't no babies *knocks on wood* popping out this any time soon. I told her she got two more years before I seriously considering adding my child to the Wall of Babes. Until then I'm content with my various god-children and nieces and nephews. I told you we claim all the babies. Heaven help us if something tragic happens to their parents. They are going up for adoption. Yes. Most of them are just that bad. How a two year old almost burn down the house? Yes...Adoption is in their immediate future messing around with me.

Is 16 like the new 25? I mean I see teen doing things that only adults should be doing. Hell they talk worse than most of the adults out here. Granted, I think most teens are smarter but I'm like "Damn. I'm 22 and sometimes I feel like I'm old." I graduated from High School in 2001. Graduated from college in 2005. A lot has changed in 5 years. A lot. Sometimes I feel like I'd graduated in 1981 not 2001. I feel so old.

I'm on the metro and these teens were talking about oral sex. Yes...Oral sex on the metro. Go figure. Girls had to be all of 14, if that. Talking about who's sucking who and how one loves to do it because "it's so cool". I had to tell them to shut the f*ck up. Better yet go do some homework or something. I was disgusted. Sure my friends and I had dirty mouths in high school but a lot of our sh*t was just that- sh*t. Our asses were lying out the ying yang. Trying to fit in to be cool. We talked about sex, yes, but it was more in a movie script way. I didn't get a real dirty mind until college. I was 18 not 12. Hell I couldn't even see Rated R movies (unless they were on cable and my mother was out the house) until I was 16 1/2. Of course, oral sex was not a "cool" factor when I was in high school. You were like, the dirty girl, if people thought you were choking on the sausage. But it was like these girls were trying to outdo each other's story...On who sucked the best.

And they looked slutty. Now I got some "street walker" clothes in my closet that is in daily rotation. I got the little shorts, barely there halters and tanks, tight jeans, little skirts galore. One difference: I am grown. My mother was definitely not on that with me in high school. Now, she wasn't strict on my wardrobe. I wasn't wearing ankle length skirts, loose sweaters, and had my hair in pigtails. She bought a lot of my little tight jeans. She bought my first thong and halter top. But that was only after she got tired of me shrinking everything in the wash to shrink my own jeans and she realized that a thong did erase panty lines. I did get to wear a few halters. I had a few short skirts (finger tips though). But that was it. She had to approve of all of my clothing purchase. If she didn't like it, it went back. Didn't have a receipt because I tried to be slick and toss them? Store Credit baby! If my mama deemed something as "A Whore On A Side Street", that outfit did not darken the front door. Sure, I snuck an outfit or two to school (You know, put it in your book bag, change in the bathroom at school, and change back at the end of the day) but after getting caught a few times, I deaded that shit. Nothing is more embarrassing than getting embarrassed at school. Make-up? Yeah right. Can you say Carmex and that little cheap lip gloss you get at the Beauty Supply store? And don't let it look too shiny on my lips, otherwise it went to her confiscated drawer. That was my make-up in high school. These girls make-up were set on "Whore". I didn't learn how to put on make-up until my freshman year in college. My room mate taught me how to put on foundation, mascara, and eye shadow. I'm still working on the blush people. I don't even like to wear it. Good Black Don't Crack as my grandma says. I'm pretty without it. I'm not one of those women who have to put on their "face" before they walk out the door. News flash: Most look terrible without it after so long. Looking like the Crip Keeper and sh*t. Leave out the club looking like Halle Berry. Wake up looking like Flava Flav. Plus I like to get my juke on in the club...I sweat out make-up. I don't want to leave with an ashy face and raccoon eyes.

Babies having babies. Damn shame. I can't always blame the parents though. Ok some I can. My mother did lecture about the importance of protection and responsibility. It just went in one ear and out the other. I think people forget that teens are not adults. Stop trying to treat a child as an adult. My mama made my damn decisions until I was 18. My first decision: My prom dress. My second: The college I attended. I should have listened to my mother on both. In my family, you're in a child's place until they say so. Damn a 18th or 21st B-day. If you act like a child, have a child's mentality, and make childish decisions...You get treated as just that...A child. I earned my adulthood at 20. My mother classified me as grown at 20. I have not disappointed her since. I've graduated in 4 years from a 4 year university. I have my own place (ok well I live with my boyfriend but you get the point), have a well paying job, about to go back to school to pursue my Masters, pay my own bills and have not needed a hand out since college (Hey Hey book are expensive as hell. I sure wasn't paying $400 for books by myself only to get $30 back at the end of the semester).

Although I love babies, I do not believe babies should have them. Especially since most can't take care of themselves let alone a defenseless baby. I don't place all the blame squarely on the parents because it's not all their faults. I don't even blame the teens (Ok well I do). I will place this blame on society. Like I said: Stop Treating These Damn Kids Like They're Adults! Stop Waving Off The Sh*t They Do. Stop Justifying Everything. Stop Giving Teens Credit Cards, Cars, And The Authority To Leave School At 16. Stop Catering To The Youth! Beat They ASSES And Allow The Parents To Do So To Some Of These "Grown" Muthaf*ckers Without Prosecution. Damn That Emancipation Sh*t! Why Are Thongs Sold in Abercrombie? Why Does The Limited Too Have Slutty Ass Outfits Not Fit To Be Worn By The Most Seasoned Of Prostitutes Yet Fit To Be Worn By 8 Year Olds? Stop "Oversexing" Our Children! Maybe The Teen Pregnancy Rate Will Go Down If Low Rise Jeans Were Not Sold To 6 Year Olds!!

**Note: The title doesn't have sh*t to do with the post but I just got finished watching Family Guy**