So it's official...It's Monday morning and already I'm angry. My day off and I'm pissed. Then I'm watching The Tyra Show and this broad I went to school with who was about to catch a quick ass whooping is on the show sobbing about her f*cking braces. Talking about how she had the sh*t on 6 years and she can't afford to take them off and people "be teasing her". What Black person (esp. from Chicago) do she know whom teases someone about some f*cking braces? Maybe a tacky wardrobe or weave but some braces?! Considering the f*cked up state of most people's teeth, Black people are not quick to jump on someone's teeth considering 9 times out of 10 some needs braces and wish they could afford to slap some on their own fucked up grill. Hell I know people who got braces in the third grade and them bitches didn't come off until the ninth.
I'm pissed because for the last two weeks our refrigerator has been acting haywire. Not getting cold at all. I mean I've had two packs of ice cream sandwiches and a two boxes of Chocolate/Strawberry Eclaires melt in the damn freezer. You know that old ass sausage roll you got in the freezer that is harder than brick? Had it for about two years with no intentions of eating it but bought it because it was on sale? Shit soft like putty. All my meats just defrosting and sh*t. Had to throw away my lunch meat, cheese, and eggs because I opened the fridge and the shit was warm as hell. Like it's just been cooked. Eggs already scrambled and sh*t. Fridge was not letting off one blast of cool air. And my milk...Looked like Cottage Cheese. And I bought it three days ago. Pissed because I went to get a bowl of cereal and the milk slid out like slime.
I call maintenance because I am beyond pissed. I refuse to let my groceries (which I just replenished) go to waste because I know the fridge is broken. So I call and call with no success. I'm thinking I need to get some coolers with some ice to keep my sh*t cool. I mean we've already stored some frozen food at friends' places (I know I'm not getting some of that stuff back. Black folk just tore through the chicken. I know that much). He showed up at at the crack of dawn to "fix" the fridge. Had to get in an argument with one of the guys because he's going to try to tell me that I broke the fridge. Told me I "set it up" too high.
I saw red.
I snapped. If I set it too high, then all my food would be frozen and not medium well done! I only turned it up because I thought it would help. Obviously it didn't. I don't even touch the settings in the fridge. So he spend an hour playing with the fridge. He finally open the back and surprise surprise- The Fridge Is Broken. We need a new fridge. So then I gotta sit up and wait for him to bring a new one. He took so long coming back I began to mop where the fridge was because it was nasty looking. He comes back and get mad because I told him he gotta wait 10 minutes until the floor dries. He ain't trackin' his muddy boots on my clean floor! Of course, I did it to make him mad because he made me mad. First, you wake me up from a good ass sleep on my day off to fix a refrigerator that I called about two weeks ago. Second, I discovered my eggs were bad (again) and had to toss them. Third, you tried to blame me for my fridge breaking? Old ass fridge anyway. It was time to retire that bitch to the pasture anyway. It's your f*cking job to fix sh*t. Don't get mad at me because your lazy ass gotta get a fridge and deliver it to my apartment. Sorry if I like to keep food in mine. Excuse me for wanting to keep my meats and dairy products fresh. Fourth, you just wasn't walking all over my floors. That's just trifling not to mop under the stove and refrigerator. Fifth, my arch nemesis was on tv...And besides the lame story, the troll was looking cute. I figured the hoe would be on "Cops" before a talk show.
Then I thought about it. Our shower head has been leaking water all over the bathroom floor. Guess it's gonna take another two weeks and this time maintenance is going to come at 3 am. I understand this is a big ass building and things are done in order of priority. My fridge is my top priority. Don't mess with my food. I'm already two seconds from being banned from the Costco's on 15th Street. Let's not make this an issue.
At least I got a brand new fridge and there's still a chance I can get on Oprah.
1 comment:
You are too funny. I think I got an apartment story that tops yours though. I was renting a duplex and when it got hot the door jamb got swollen and wouldnt close. My landlords solution? He told me to tie the door shut with a rope so nobody could get in. In this same apt, there was a leak in the bathroom. I went out of town for a couple days and when I came back a mushroom was growing between the floor tiles. I lifted the tiles up and saw there was no foundation under the floor, just some dirt. I moved outta there the next week. But I guess thats what i get for paying $290 a month for rent.
Post a Comment