Will Tenacious Have To Choke A Hoe.....

I am a pet owner yall! I have a long hair cat named Phoenix. Phoenix is still a little nervous around us but he's warming up. You know he's gonna be shiftless and fat pretty soon.

I got a raise at work. Great...I will never stay out the mall now. You know it's spring...Sista gotta get that spring wardrobe off and popping.

Collections caught up with me today. Now I really got to pay this medical bill so they won't send it off. You know I'm trying to get my credit together. I'm trying to break the "Black Person With Bad Credit" stereotype although I notice the muthaf*ckers with the worst credit steady keep getting credit cards but my credit, which is average, keep getting rejected! *shakes fist at Visa and Mastercard* Damn get one credit card in college, max it out in two weeks and damn...Won't give me a break. *shakes fist at Experian*

This girl at work pissed me off today yall. I mean, here I am, tranquil for the past few days (notice the sunset picture yall). I mean I have been in a good mood yall. I have even cooked three days in a row! Three! That's damn near a record for my lazy ass!

Men, don't think I'm really lazy and just have my man starving. He actually likes to cook and well I like to let him. I'm just not a good cook. Damn...Pitiful black woman. I don't like to cook, can't braid hair, and can't sing. But can clean the hell outta a house! It's just an effort for me to cook. Hey I have a short attention span. I get on the internet or get into a TV show and forget I have food cooking. I have stepped up my skills though. Add "homemade meat lasagna" to my now accomplished (with burning and/or food poisoning) list of dishes.

Good sex. Face clear as hell. I don't know the hell my BF taking but he's been really on point the last few days. Maybe it's the cooking. Have me in that good sleep mode. You know the one? Get sexed so good you go straight to sleep. Like it's NyQuil or something. Wake up in the morning still tingling and sh*t? Go to work super cheesy? Those muscle ailments you've had earlier in the week? *snaps finger* Gone. I'm not walking around looking like a washerwoman and sh*t. Like I've been lifting weights or something. I just have been feeling good. Yeah...That Good Type of Sex.

I work in a high stress job so you know I'm feeling good if I haven't had to curse not one person out. And I do snap on someone at least twice a day. Usually the same person. Within 20 minutes. Yet everyone at work thinks I'm so "sweet". *shrugs* Maybe they never got the "Angry Black Woman" memo. That's the funny thing about the folks I work with. Unless you're actually yelling at them they don't consider that "snapping". You can call someone a "f*cking B*tch" and if you're not yelling, never mind you got all the facial expression, neck swirls and the vein in your neck is protruding like a mug...They don't consider you angry.

Until today. That is.

The wrong person "teed" me off. Now me and this person don't like each other anyway but since we work in different departments, I rarely have contact with her. She works at the concierge desk but the b*tch have the bad habit of disappearing all the time. No notice. And she leaves for like 20-30 minutes at a time. I think she's doing blow in the washroom if you ask me. She's a little jittery and be sniffing all the damn time. So I always give her that "Are You On That Sh*t" look when I see her. Nose looking a little, um, red to me. We were really busy this morning and hella people wanted to print their boarding passes. Lo and behold, b*tch just get up and walks off, leaving a line full of people.

Now I got some of that goosy last night so all day I have been in a good mood. Nothing fazed me today. I'm just the smiling and cheesing. Greeting folks I normally don't. Waved to the prick manager I don't like. Hell I even was laughing at the lame jokes (and you know they lame if I, the self-professed laugh whore, doesn't even laugh) White People tend to crack that have other White People cracking up yet the Black folks usually are scratching their heads, silent, because we either don't get the joke or it just wasn't that damn funny in the first place. Even when a guest called herself "reading me", I didn't blink an eye and let her know what I really think of her "Elite Status". Now you know everyone was feeling my forehead, asking me if I was alright, because I had yet to choke a b*tch. (Of course most of the Black folks knew what was up...)

So when this heff disappeared, she blew my high. The people in line were getting impatient because heavens forbid if they have to do the express check-in at the airport. Oh lawd, that is a travesty in itself, if they have to take five minutes from their airport experience to check in when they arrive at the airport. I mean never mind technically they still have to stop to check their luggage but how dare we subject them to a line?!

^^^Extreme Sarcasm^^^

Now I'm trying to ease the line and since I wasn't busy, I decided to actually help someone but b*tch locked the damn computers and no one knows the passwords but her. She is still nowhere to be found. This was minute 45 by the way. So I had to reroute the line and of course other folks jumped in line for something other than boarding passes, even though I specifically announced that was what my line was for and do not get in my line if it is not related to boarding passes which mean I had to tell a few ig'nant ass folks to step into another line because didn't I just say this was boarding passes only and were you not listening although I saw you standing right there when I said yet you still hopped in line, waited, and now I have to treat you like the idiot you are and you still gotta move to another line? So I managed to print out everyone's boarding pass and here come this broad, sliding around the corner like one of the creatures in Thriller. So I ask her point blank *in my best Bernie Mac voice* "Where The Hell You Been?" because everyone is tired of her dipping and not telling everyone and then guests get mad at us because we can't book them f*caking Trolley tickets and sh*t.

This broad have the nerve to arch her eyebrow and tell me, me who saved her ass because the GM was hanging around and she could have gotten into trouble. Me who although it wasn't my job decided to be a team player and help a growing problem. Me who was in a good mood. Me who sacrificed her lunch hour to work. She had the nerve to tell me, "None of my damn business".

*Falls On Floor Dead*

Let's just say the folks at work know now that you can curse someone out without raising your voice. B*tch was literally quivering. Maybe the "Crackhead Hoe" line got her.

Nothing can make me snap quicker than when you try to help someone out and they get mad at you for helping them out.

She was a smig *puts thumb and index fingers close together* from Tenacious Having To Choke A Hoe.

She Blew my high and I found out she was the one who ate my damn Reese Cups a few weeks ago. Of course after the cursing out, all of a sudden folks who didn't like her want to "trick" on her and sh*t I guess so I can curse her out again. <---You know how folks always do that after a tongue lashing or a fight? Try to slide up to you and be like "I never liked such and such anyway...I wanted to tell you before but I thought yall was cool...Such and such said this and that about you...

"Found it on the counter" my ass.

It's not too late....Maybe I can regain my high back....