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Yesterday I finally went and got something done to these Napps. Have your hair ever been so nappy, you could have been an extra in "Roots"? Yeah...It was looking that rough. You know your hair is messed up when White People start saying "WTF is up with your hair? Are you stressed? Having problems at home?" because we KNOW White Folks don't know the difference between a nice ass hairdo and some fucked up shit. Will compliment the shit outta a bogus ass weave, won't they?

I went and got some kinky twists...IN MY OWN HAIR COLOR! I hate that ghetto ass shit...Knowing damn well your hair was not a honey blond or red BEFORE you put the braids in and got the nerve to slap that mess in your hair! It's different if it was (well not really...Some women's hair is nice with SUBTLE coloring but that bold and wildness don't work for everyone) but when it's not it just look tacky. I took the recommendation of a co-worker and hit up the Africans because it's time for the seasonal braids. Lawd knows I hate combing my own hair. It's long and thick as hell. You know your hair is thick when a relaxer can't even thin it out. A relaxer just smooth the kitchen and the edges (You gotta get the beada bees) in my hair. Needless to say, I rather pay someone to maintain it for me than attempt to do it myself. I swear I'm a pitiful Black woman. All I can do is dance and clean the hell outta a house! My cooking is in the C/D range (Yes I am still a slave to the microwave and simple ass dishes. I swear my boyfriend and I eat the same 4 meals every week!), I can't comb hair to save my life (Braids all crooked and bogus like them jail-house braids), and I can't sing to save my life (But don't let the shower know that...I be in there tearing it up like I'm Aretha in her heyday). But give me a dirty ass house, some dusties and/or dancehall, and my ass will be a dancing, cleaning, fool.

So I went to the Africans (in the Chi- all hair braiding places are strictly called the Africans b/c we know they're 1) African 2) Can hook some shit up!) well actually I think they were Haitians, I recognized a French dialect, and it was PACKED! I got there at 3:30, didn't slide my ass in the chair until 5 and was out by 10 (with 2 folks in my hair even though I balked at first, my mama told me it was bad luck to have more than one person in your hair at a time...Make ya hair fall out...I have always lived with that fear so a sista was nervous letting them do my hair at the same time but the other alternative was one person= 10 hours). Not to be on that homo- but those African/Haitian women were gorgeous. Pretty dark skin, nice even teeth, gorgeous hair, and had some of the prettiest accents I've heard. They were really nice too. Most African women walk around with a stank ass attitude (and they say Black American women are bad) but these were nice (or maybe they were nice b/c we were paying).

They did wonders on a sista hair even though they get every little bit of hair on your head. I mean, they get baby hair that you didn't know you had! I felt like telling them to just leave that lil bit alone because they were yanking a sista's hair and I am tenderheaded by no means (couldn't be in my family anyway...muthafuckers was yanking the shit out ya hair, popping you with the comb, digging their nails in your scalp, burning you with the hot comb and shit...You learned to adapt!) but I was ready to die! But the end result was pretty. I look pretty. Everyone loves it (even the White Folk even though they think it's all mine...I'm like ummm no, my hair aint that long!)

The things we go through for beauty...Ah Black women we are too much...Always Imitated Never Duplicated!