Ok Ok I know I said sports is not really my thing, but I am a closet sport lover. You know the type of sports that you would rather pull your teeth out than admit that you like? Well, that's the sports I like. Now while I will watch the typical sports (usually by force with a LOT of groaning) such as Basketball or Football (Nothing can force me to watch the ultimate "bore" of a sport- Baseball- I actually went to sleep watching a White Sox Game...at Cominsky Park (Fuck a US Cellular- It will always be Cominsky Park to fellow Chicagoians)...During a sold out night. Yeah, it was just THAT boring...Well I am a hard sleeper but that's besides the point). I will watch the "most" popular sports from time to time...but only for the cute men. Yeah sorry. I watch to eye ball the men. I do have to wonder why basketball have so many unattractive men while football have some of the sexiest men I have ever SEEN! B-ball players looking all rough and grimey in the face and this is a non-contact sport but football, where men are constantly being tackled and should have the "rough" face, look so...tasty *wipes a little bit of dribble out the corner of my mouth* I don't know what it is. Don't start asking me about teams though...the dumb "Blonde" comes out...I mix up teams, cities, players...I don't know a lot of terminology and often uses it for the wrong sport (I called a touchdown a "free throw"...Yeah I was kicked out the room after that)
Ok...yeah...back to the post at hand. I, Tenacious, am a undercover Figure Ice Skating and Wrestling Junkie. *hangs head* Yes, I know I know. Ice Skating is not a "sport". Yes, wrestling is "fake". But let any of these come on TV...I act like a man during Super Bowl/NBA Championship/Final Four games...SHUT THE HELL UP TALKING TO ME! DON'T YOU KNOW THE HULK IS ABOUT TO MAKE AN APPEARANCE! FUCKA HOUSE ON FIRE!! Yeah, it's just that serious for me. Ice skating is just really pretty to me and it is actually a difficult sport to accomplish. I mean have you ever tried to make a Triple Axis? Some hard ass shit. I mean, I ice skate. Am I good? Not really. But do that stop my ghetto ass from getting out there like I'm Michelle Kwan during her peak? Yeah I have taken out many of small children in the rink but they got in the way...Did they NOT see me making a perfect figure 8? I am enchanted by figure ice skating. Maybe it's the skimpy ass outfits (I was so serious on creating one of those outfits...for Prom...Luckily my mama slapped some sense in my ass) or the couples (so trusting...so trusting. Couldn't be my boyfriend and I. I know he would have dropped my ass and then it would have been an ass whooping out there. Ice skating to Hockey in a nano-second!) I just love it. Tears (or what I think are tears) comes to my eyes during an exceptionally beautiful performace. I hold my breathe when they go in for the jumps and turns. I howl in outrage when I feel someone has been cheated (So what she wobbled a bit? That was highway robbery!) Yes I admit I watched the Winter Olympics *hangs head as Ghetto Pass is called into question* Late at night, I would sneak in the living room and stay up and watch recaps, then quickly turn when my boyfriend comes in the living room wondering why the hell I'm up at 3am. Hey, Ice Skating is nice! My friends would die laughing if they knew...so don't tell them ok? I still haven't lived down the High School gym class incident when my shorts fell down...After I tripped over the tennis net (Thought my ass was Serena and shit) and the object of my H.S. desire (Hi Troy!) was right there...Saw the bogus ass grannies that day (Hey it was laundry day!) Needless to say, Victoria Secret became my new best friend after that day.
Wrestling is my other sport. Yes besides the wrestlers, I do love the skimpy ass costumes and the boots. I am such a twisted pervert. Wrestling is another sport that I am amazed by. Sure I know the shit is fake...but it's the story lines that I am addicted to. Will Triple H and Stone Cold meet up? How will the Undertaker defend his title this time? Damn when do the Rock come out--People's Eyebrow please! OMG Vince is not going to get in the ring and call out someone, will he? Where the hell is Mick Foley? Yeah I be all up in it. I go to the WWE games when they're in town, I do order the PPV specials (My mama have cursed my ass out many of times for doing this) and I have a Shawn Michael tee. Now, I don't like many of the new guys...I'm strictly old school. Wrestling is a violent sport without it really being violent. Most of the props are fake and many of the moves do not actually hurt..It just looks like it. Wrestling was my soap opera- Damn an "All My Children"...Wrestling was the real drama! Sure characters were over the top and often walking stereotypes...But I see them as strictly entertaining, so critics back off! My favorites have always been Macho Man, Lex Luthor, Undertaker, Mankind, Shawn Michaels, and Bret "Hitman" Hart. They came on TV and I was like in 8 year old Orgasmic Bliss (or what I thought was orgasmic bliss..Hell at 8, I couldn't spell "orgasm" let alone know what the hell it was) You could not drag me away. I would even imitate the moves on my unsuspecting brother and cousins.
*SIGH*
I love wrestling. They came to the MCI Center last night and I was royally pissed....Fucking sold out! But I did watch it on TV...Screaming and yelling like I was there (boyfriend wasn't at home so I could act a damn fool) AND then guess what? Guess who stayed at my property last night? FUCKING SHAWN MICHAEL!!!! AND I GOT AN AUTOGRAPH!!!!! I didn't even know he was in the hotel until someone told me....Because they checked him in!! *squeal* It turns out that before he got really big, he stayed at our property all the time and well, he never forgot the little people!! He loves our property partly because we leave him the hell alone. NOT MY ASS!!! Oh they had to stop me from camping outside his room because I was sooo there!! So here it was like, 11a, and I was out in the front when I looked out and mouth instantly went dry. HE WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!!! Pictures really do him NO FUCKING JUSTICE! He is fucking sexy as hell in person. He had on dark glasses, slicked back ponytail and a really nice Italian suit with Gucci loafers (yes I pricelined that outfit) and although I was mad he kissed Vince's bare ass...I was just swooning. So he peeps me looking and the mother fucker smiled at me...Why did he do that? You know I just went CRAZY!!! Luckily he's a really nice man, because I showed that ass in the lobby...I was around that corner soo quick! I was mad b/c my fucking Blackberry don't have a camera on it (FUCKING BLACKBERRY...If I didn't love you so much...) but like I said, he did give me an autograph! Of course, it's against hotel rules but damn that! He looked kinda surprised that I 1) knew who he was 2) watched last night's event 3) was a young Black woman but he knew he wasn't going anywhere without talking to me! He shook my hand and walked off. I stood at that spot for like 5 minutes and then started jumping around like a damn idiot! Of course, co-workers were hating but fuck them! Should have opened your mouth! Yes I, Tenacious, met one of my favorite wrestlers of all time!! Thank you Shawn!! You have made my life!! Now if only Morris Chestnut could come to my property......
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