Saturday, March 25, 2006

Slizzard Friday.....



Sorry I haven't been around a few days, I have been getting worked harder than a slave the past couple of days. To my wonderful audience, Thank ya for coming by and being entertained by my random thoughts *blows kiss* Feel free to leave a comment if ya want...Make Sure You Check Out Some Of My Personal Daily Reads...Genius.

Friday I go in to work tired as ever and mad because I had to come in early. George Mason is chilling at the hotel for a few days due to the NCAA tournament *Commence White Executive Dick-Sucking Mode* Surprise, surprise I'm not a sports fan so you know yours truly can care less about the team...Unless someone is going to the NBA and want a lil Chocolate Thunder on their arms <--Right who am I kidding...They going straight for the white girls *lol*

So I see a few of the Black players (although isn't 99% of their team Black? Just asking...), I mean you can't miss their lanky 6' and up asses walking through the lobby anyway so I give a wave to a few of the little cute ones who I wouldn't mind sneaking into their rooms with a master key and lo and behold a manager appears at my right arm like a damn killer in the night. He's notorious for sneaking up on people...He must don't know he'd get sliced doing that in Chicago...

Now I can't stand this prick anyway, he is the worst type of White Guy to be around in my opinion. One, he needs to get laid. Two, he's too uptight and conservative. Get the stick out your ass White Guys. Three, I think he's racist but he's that slick "I got three Black friends so that mean I can't be racist" White person. He says what I think, in my paranoid Black mind, are slick racist but technically they can go either way kind of remarks but when I call him out on them I come across as "oversensitive" <--Don't you hate that? *waves fist* White people have gotten sooo smart....

Now I have seen his "girlfriend" (Did I mention I think he's a closet homo as well?) and she's a gorgeous woman. I don't think she's laying it down in the bed because sometimes he has the bad attitude of a man with blue balls who ain't getting ass so he's gonna snap at you on sight because it's clear you're getting yours and wants to make your life as miserable as his. He's like one of those white guys whom talk all that conservative shit but probably got a gay, Black lover somewhere out in the streets. I think he's aware of my general disdain for him so we avoid contact as much as possible...Otherwise I know a trip to HR and the unemployment line are in my immediate future.

He calls me in the office to basically quote company policy about "mingling" with the guests. He get the "Who The hell You Talking To?" eyebrow. Sensing my anger, He wiggles in his seat, stammering, "Well, uh, I saw you wave to them and I know they're young and you're young..." so I have to cut him off quickly and read his ass:

"First of all [prick's name] I hope your not insinuating what I think you're insinuating. I hope [although Black people don't hope we wish a nigga would....] that you're not calling me some low-class groupie who would risk her job to hop in bed with some kids who are barely legal. I hope that you're not insinuating that all Black women are trolling for booty, and because I am young, although I might mention I am only 4 years younger than you, I might revert back to a college groupie and you want to quote company policy [even though you know I threw that damn handbook away and only read all of one page from it] to me because of a wave. That so-called wave that has me in this office is called a "friendly" wave. I don't know what kind of waves you give [probably of the "limp wrist" variety] but mine was strictly platonic. *stands up* And the last time I checked, I thought your degree was in Hotel Management and not Wave-ology. It's called customer service. Maybe you should look that up in the handbook"

And I walked out his office. Oh you know I wanted to get gutter but I left before it went that route. I also wanted to mention that the team waved because it's not too many Black faces in the hotel and they waved to acknowledge me as a Black person and not as potential after-the-game booty. I can tell they are tired of the executives yapping at their heels because I know they don't give them boys a moment's peace. If they even think they see one, they're quickly tugging at their arms for a "photo-op" or the fans that were lucky enough to get a room there want to stop and ask them (or us) random dumb ass questions and then they want autographs and pictures as well. I'm sure Black athletes get tired of the same white faces, sucking their dicks and talking about them behind their backs, and just crave a friendly Black face every once and awhile. But you know White Folks will never understand that.

Needless to say after the confrontation, the prick left my ass alone. We were busy the entire day and after work, I agreed to go out with some of the "cool" people from work for drinks and club hopping.

We hit up Dave and Buster's and proceeded to get slizzard out the ass. One of the guys at work knew one of the bartenders and we got a sweet hook-up on drinks. It pays to know somebody that know somebody. His guy hooked us up! I mean I had 2 Armaretto Sours, Four Shots of Tequila, Three Rum and Cokes, and a Gin and Tonic Water. Yes a bitch got slizzard in that bad boy. I'm walking around drunk as hell, playing games, flirting, and just clowning with the crew. We were all out the ass drunk.

We easily had a $100 dollar tab (including food and drink). Our grand total: $40. Not only were we wasted good because he made our drinks extra strong (you know how weak those drinks are sometimes) so we laced his ass with good tip money. That's one thing though, if someone is hooking you up with something, please lace their pockets. That's how you leave happy and your hook up continue to, well, hook you up. No one likes cheapness. I gave dude $40 for a tip (and we all split that $40 tab 6 ways)...He's now my "hook up" for when I come to Dave and Buster's. Oh yeah, the cool white boy waiter who didn't charge me for me for my meal (must have been my "Objects Under This Shirt Are Larger Than They Appear" tee)? I gave him a $20 tip...He's also my hook-up for food/drinks because next week he start bartending. Shout out to Micks and David!

^^^I was balling that night. My bills were paid and I had plenty of extra money in the Checking left *lol*

But of course you can't let everyone know your hook ups because you know Black Folks will fuck that shit up in a heart beat.

We basically get thrown out of D&B (because it was actually closing and we had overstayed our grace period) and hit up the clubs Platinum, Drinks and Avenue. Got a hook-up from those spots as well. We danced, got some more drinks, and partied! I musta danced with every dude up in the club.

One thing about me: I go to the club to dance. I don't go to look cute (I'm already that) or stand against the wall playing the "pouty video chick who gets all the men by standing against the wall playing the pouty video chick" routine. If I paid $25 to get in and I only got $20 in Checking that gotta last me until the end of the week...Best believe I am going to get my money's worth. My girls are always on me because as soon as we hit the club, I hit the bar and then the dance floor. I love to dance. Granted I ain't the Jamaican Dancehall Queen that I think I am but I can get down with the best of them. No "lean wit it, rock wit it", "drop down and get ur eagle on", "chicken head" dances here...I do have standards you know.

It's only under extreme circumstances that I will not dance at the club (a fresh relaxer, actually tired as hell and being dragged out by force, and on "the cycle" are a few) but I can not stand the "club boyfriend" and if I think you have those tendencies then I will not dance with you. Ladies you know what I'm talking about...The man you give just one dance to, it don't even have to be a dance song and you don't even have to give him your full dancing capabilities, and he proceed to follow you around the club like he's your man, boguarding dances and advances from other men like he is, well, your man. I usually get a few of them every time I go out and yes I had two of them in my drunken state for every club we hit. I think it's because men are so used to women not dancing in the club that when he find one that do he gotta stay near her...I mean no telling when he might get another dance right?

I had to basically bring up my "Dance Minimum" rule which is basically: YOU ONLY GET ONE DANCE! You get one dance and as soon as the song changes...So do my dance partner. I ain't trying to be latched to your ass the whole night...Unless you can really dance (and not just stand there and lean back while I do all the work) and I might let you get a few more dances. Might being the word of the day.

Oh I had a good ass time. We all had a good time. Surprising when folks are not at work, they can be a lot a fun. Well they are fun at work, they're the few that I correspond with outside of work, but we had a good time and we suppose to hit the club tonight.

I guess I don't have to mention I came home smelling like alcohol, weed, and sweat. The feet were pounding like hell. Gotta bust out the post-club flip-flops because my feet are too swollen to fit in my shoes.

1 comment:

Rashan Jamal said...

this was funny as hell. I hate white people who act like that. Also, you ain't lying about the hook up. A tip can go a long way towards keeping that going.